to be so pee'd off with SiL that I'm not sure I want her in our house anymore......

[Bambinoloveseggbirds]

DS is 9 months now and all year all I've had is one dig after the other from my SiL (and my MiL to a certain extent but she got bored quite a while ago). I've pretty much ignored most of them but they are starting to really get on my nerves and the latest ones have left me quite upset.

DS is a very chilled baby and has such a lovely nature but whenever she comes in, she waves toys in his face and is so loud it just freaks him out and he always starts screaming (plus he's at the age where he is naturally a bit clingy). She came over last week and the usual screaming started and she got quite annoyed and said "you need to take him to baby groups" (which I won't as he starts nursery in January and he hated the groups when I took him), and now today she came in, cue usual screaming, my DH picked him up and in a really mocking voice she said "boo hoo I want my daddy. You used to be a such nice child".

I should have said something earlier I know but I am fuming now. AIBU to tell DH that I don't want her round anymore.

Firawla, this has crossed my mind actually.

Something else has made me think. DH and I left DS with MiL one day and she took him to SiLs. Afterwards, all they said was how happy he was there and how much he enjoyed it and went on and on like they were trying to convince themselves, yet we went there a few days later and he screamed as usual when she went near him. I haven't said it to DH but I am beginning to wonder if she's done something to frighten him. I do hope not and just hope it's me being a paranoid mummy with PFB, or DS at a clingy phase.

I'm sure she hasn't done anything to scare him..

I think it was just them convincing themselves. Bet DS DID cry actually but eventually settled. and it was the eventually settled bit they were making sure you knew all about.

Dunno if this sounds right, but you may stiffen when this SIL is in your territory, perhaps DS has picked up on that?

All that said, my DS used to take immediate and extremely vocal exception to some people, just looking at them! Certain faces really, really upset him... LOL, ugly women usually! Others he would bill and coo at!
He settled down as he got older. He may just not like her.. It's not like she sounds too nice anyway.. LOL!

I know you don't like to fight, no-one does really, but if we are to be come the matriarchs of our family, we have to draw lines, set tones and codes of conduct.

DH will back you up, cos it's not like you are being silly or over sensitive.

Deep breath and just stand up for your family.

I do think that banning people from the house (unless they are violent or light fingered) makes you look a bit of a prat. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, so why not try countering all her suggestions with 'Maybe I'll bear it in mind', and if she picks DS up and he howls, take him back and say, 'oh dear, he doesn't like you' in the sweetest and most patronizing tones you can manage. Mildy amused condescension is the best way to deal with PITAs like her because it drives them batshit.

LOL I'd go further and say: "I can't think why he hates you" in my most sarcastic voice.

Have you told her not to wave toys in his face and asked her to be quiet?

Dragon yes I have told her not to wave toys, I even said, look some babies are just quiet and my DS is a thinker (which he is). She told me I was talking crap. When DS was really young, I said that we don't play with toys too close to bedtime as it overexcites him and he doesn't settle - again, she laughed in my face and told me not to be stupid.

Solidghoul you're right, banning her would make me an arse. I have no intention of that, just thought that in heat of fuming rage. I really don't think he does like her.

6feet Again, you make such a good point. DS is fine with my friends and my best friend (who lives 60 miles away) that he only sees every couple of months or so, he absolutely loves. He will sit happily with her even when I leave the room.

I think he has just taken a dislike to SiL. Wise little boy actually, the amount of crap I've put up with from her.

I've calmed down now so I will try and rise above it. If she says anything else, I will say "ooh, sorry SiL, I think he's taken a dislike to you". DH will back me up as he said that perhaps DS just doesn't like her.

Honestly I don't know how you haven't battered her with a rattle, my MIL was like this when ours were babies so rather than ban her from the house we were always on our way out - wave bye bye to aunty - and i didn't care if we walked the streets for an hour until she went home. Suited her anyway she only wanted to look at the children not actually interact whilst talking to the adults.