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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be irritated by people saying my job is easy?

44 replies

MilkNoPoisonPlease · 16/10/2009 01:43

I probably am, but I'm tired and in a bad mood!

anyway, I'm a nanny, i've been with the same family for well over a year now and i love it!

i work either 3 or 4 days per week (for this particular fmily i do babysitting other days) depending on the parents workload. from 8am-7.30pm (although cn be later) this day includes,

getting kids ready for school and gettin them there
doing some chores once baxk at the house for 30 mins
taking youngest midee to an activity (baby massage/bounce.sing&dance etc)then get back for 11.30 to get her lunch sorted

feed her lunch etc and get her down for a nap by 12

in the time shes asleep (1 1/2-2 hrs) i need to do kids washing and hang it up, take down other stuff etc, tidy up, wash up, prepare as much of dinner for eldest two for later, as i can

i get about 30 mins time for myself

then get baby up and dressed feed her etc then out the door by 2.45 to be at school gates by 3,15

pick up kids, and ferry to various activities then getting homework and instrument practice etc done

then finishing dinner and feeding baby and cleaning dishesthen getting everyoine bathed in pyjamas and stgorys read by 7/7.30

now i have nothing but the upmost respect for parents, i can at least hand these children over to their parents at the end of an evening, BUT, i mentioned to a friend that i was tired today and her reply was "oh please your jobs a piece of piss"

this isnt the first comment ive had from people about this, along the lines of "so what exactly do you do in a day? anything?" "like you have anything to complain about at work you have it cushty" " oh please you barely work" etc to name a FEW

now i work my friggin ass off each day and parents Really apriciate it and the kids are wonderful, im just fed up of being told my job is easy or i dont do anything.

So aibu? (i know i probably am, just having one of those days!

sorry i know this makes no sense im just in a bad mood about being judged yet again over my bloody job! (have been told my job is terrible as i take children away from parents and encourage them to leave them at home etc )

OP posts:
Geocentric · 16/10/2009 01:49

YANBU at all. If a SAHM (like myself) was told she had a "piece of piss" job there would be bloodshed. No different being the nanny (or full-time nursery teacher, for that matter). At the end of the day, it's hard work! And appreciation (whether SAHM or Nanny) is essential.

nooka · 16/10/2009 05:43

Well I had a nanny precisely because looking after children (especially babies) was much too hard work for me! Maybe your friend thinks it is easy because you obviously enjoy what you do? Some people assume that if you look forward to Monday mornings then you can't be working hard.

What I loved about having a nanny is that she really did enjoy the job, so I knew my children would be much happier with her than with me (I'm not really a baby person). Glad you feel that way too, I'm sure the parents really do appreciate that.

Sometimes you have to accept that your job might have some negative connotations (I used to be a NHS manager, so have first hand experience of being thought to do nothing/do nothing useful/be the work of the devil). Seems a bit strange that being a nanny should be thought to be wicked though - aren't you rescuing those poor unmothered children

ABetaDad · 16/10/2009 07:28

I presume your friend as no children? No one who has ever done it would think that.

Looking after DSs is the hardest thing I have ever done. No question about it and I was used to working 70 hour weeks.

Goblinchild · 16/10/2009 07:32

YANBU, as a teacher I get fed up with fools and ignoramuses telling me it's easy, fits around my children and I work from 9-3.30 with long holidays and a good pension.
Now, if the people saying it were doing the same job, and properly, they might be worth hearing.
But funnily enough they never are.

robino · 16/10/2009 07:36

Obviously a bit that you love your job. Of course, looking after children is a piece of piss. In the same way that climbing Everest in a blizzard, blindfolded and hungover is.

You have the patience to look after children who are not your own all day - you have my respect. (Although, that probably doesn't really matter to you!)

WailingGhoshe · 16/10/2009 07:37

Milk I have had the same remarks all my working life. I have been in Childcare for over 30 years.

I just smile sweetly now and wait for the day childless friends have children, then quietly chuckle to myself.

purepurple · 16/10/2009 07:38

YANBU
I am a nursery nurse and love my job.
Just because I make it look easy, doesn't mean it is easy.

Meglet · 16/10/2009 07:38

Yanbu. When I'm at home with the dc's I can cut myself some slack because I'm in charge, although its still bloody hard work. As a nanny I assume your employer is hardly going to be pleased if you sit down and MN while the children are napping.

CaptainNancy · 16/10/2009 07:40

It is probably because they have no respect for what parents do- except that parents do it 7 days a week, and don't get paid.
It is lovely to have a job that we like so much though, isn't it?

ABetaDad · 16/10/2009 07:43

I suspect the problem with the teaching professiin is that parents just see teachers 'working with the childen' 9 - until 3.30 and see the 'long holiday'. They then compare ther own working cnditions 9 - 5 every day and often several hours on top unpaid and a pension that has been slashd and working until 66 and the constant threat of job cuts and pay cuts hanging on top of that. Teaching seems easier with better conditions and an early retirement.

Teaching 'looks' easy compared to many pivate sector jobs, however, I used to be a lecturer and I now how exhausting standing in front of class is all day.

My own feeling is that teaching should be 'normalised as a profession and brought int the 21st Century with fixed 8.30 - 4.30 hours, no work after school and 5 weeks holiday and bank holidays. Retirement at 66.

It would fit with out 24/7 and 365 day a year society. The world does not stop in school holidays and a lot of parents resent havng to organise child care whle teachers 'are on holiday'.

What is the reality, would you prefer to teach 8.30 - 4.30, no after hours and short holidays and until your are 66 as I said?

Goblinchild · 16/10/2009 07:47

'What is the reality, would you prefer to teach 8.30 - 4.30, no after hours and short holidays and until your are 66 as I said?'
Don't want to hijack the thread.
Would the hours you mention cover the 4 hours planning, collecting/creating resources and the marking and assessment of work on 10 subjects by 32 children every week?

Lizzylou · 16/10/2009 07:50

I used to think that working with children would be fun and easy.
Then I had two of my own and longed to run back to the office
On the face of it, it can sound easy, people can just imagine you spending your days doing jigsaws and cuddling cute kids, but truly, I think we all now know that the reality is very different.
I was planning on retraining to become a Primary school teacher when DS2 started school, I have knocked that one on the head.
I have the utmost respect for people who look after children and do so with energy, enthusiasm and patience. Mine appears to have vanished.
People always like to imagine that others have it easier than them.

robino · 16/10/2009 07:54

Abetadad I wondered this when I was a teacher, think it was probably the out of hours work that exhausted me most. Although if they worked 8.30 -4.30 as you suggest they would have to teach fewer hours I think and then you'd need more teachers. One of the things that helps recruit teachers I suspect is the holidays.

Sorry, that is a terribly written post but I just need to go and referee my two pre-schoolers and don't have time to re-write.

SixtyFootDoll · 16/10/2009 07:55

i expect you r friend has no children?
before I had mine I thought looking after cchildren woulld be a 'piece of piss' too!
YAANBUU
Can you come to my house please?!

ABetaDad · 16/10/2009 08:09

Goblinchild/robino - yes it would require a complete reorgnisation of how teachers teach. The after hours killed me too as a lecturer and of course that prep time has to be included in the working day. I used to say 1/3 teaching class time, 1/3 prep time, 1/3 marking but that was adult education.

However, I also agree a few teachers I know do admit the holiday, pension and early retirement is one of the big reasons they went into the profession. Seen it said by a few on MN too.

We are having a review of eductaion in the UK right now but I guess a complete modernisaion would be too much to hope for.

TheBlairSnitchProject · 16/10/2009 08:13

I'm sure my Mum (and now my sister) would love "fixed 8.30 - 4.30 hours, no work after school and 5 weeks holiday and bank holidays. Retirement at 66"!! I know when I was a child, I would have loved that too - I'd have actually gotten to spend way more time with my Mum for a start.

Unfortuneately, 8.30 - 4.30 would leave no time in a day for the pre-school meetings, tidying the classroom at the end of the day, lesson planning, marking, preparation, detentions and all the other stuff that comes with teaching. She probably wouldn't have dragged me back into school over the summer holidays to help me clear out her store cupboard and properly tidy the class room to get it ready for the new term either!

Fantastic idea Abettadad!

Just one thing - who is going to do it?

Can you see why I laughed at the Uni entrance guy when he asked if I'd like to do my course with an attached teaching qualification?

TheBlairSnitchProject · 16/10/2009 08:14

YANBU by the way Op. Looking after children is a very hard job!

And 8am-7.30pm is a very long working day!

UndercoverMuseumWorker · 16/10/2009 08:18

I used to be a nanny and it's a hard hard job. Yes you can hand them back at the end of the day which I can't with dd but I found that lack of continuity had its downsides. When I left at 7pm on a Friday and returned at 8am on a Monday I had no idea what they had done in between, which sounds like no problem but it is when you're dealing with very tired children, or no homework done or uniforms etc not ready.

Also, you never quite have the control that parents have. With dd I might dole out a punishment (when she's older) that I might not feel I had the authority to give to mindees.

Added to that is the sheer physical effort of running round after children for 12 hours a day.

girlsyearapart · 16/10/2009 08:25

YANBU

Have lots of Nanny friends. Went to the park with one the other day as my kids and her mindees are about same age.

I let my two trot off and do their own thing but my friend noticed some other mums there who were friends of her boss so she stayed right next to her mindees and couldn't chat to me.

As a SAHM it is a hard job but at least I don't feel bad for chatting to a friend whilst the kids play!

Also was a primary teacher before the kids and had loads of people saying how easy by job was 9-330 etc etc.

The only reason they say stuff like that is because they don't realise what else teaching entails.

Tombliboobs · 16/10/2009 08:29

It depends on how much you do on the other 1/2 days that you have off. The days you work YANBU, as it is hard work, especially such long days.

But if you have 1/2 easier days with time to yourself, during the working week, then perhaps that is what your friend is referring to.

Babieseverywhere · 16/10/2009 08:50

I do think being a nanny is easier than being a full time SAHM and also easier than being in a highly stressed office job.

Being a nanny means that you get the easy bits of being a SAHM without the evening, night and early morning shifts with a lot less housework, plus getting a salary, paid holiday and sick cover !!!

I find the hardest bit of being a SAHM is the fact that you don't clock on at 8am and clock off at 7.30pm. I have 4 hour break from my children every 6 weeks to attend a course and maybe the odd hour here and there and that is it. However that is more than enough in return for being able to do what I want, i.e. stay at home with my children.

Firawla · 16/10/2009 09:05

yanbu!!! does not sound easy, looking after babies and children is tiring. i have only one 15 months ds and still it can get tiring, and you are looking after more. your friends comments are very rude and just stupid tbh! does she have any experience with children?

Pitchounette · 16/10/2009 09:32

Message withdrawn

victoriascrumptious · 16/10/2009 09:44

My husband is a teacher. He's never home before 5:30 and then he carries on working at home usually and he has work to do on weekends.

If there's one thing i've learnt to do it's not to comment on other peoples jobs as you just don't know what you are talking about unless you've done it

fernie3 · 16/10/2009 09:48

you day is the same as mine as a SAHM and my day is NOT easy - my husband works full time and if he has to look after the three of them for a day even he says he couldnt do it everyday!

your job isnt easy so ignore them and keep enjoying it