to be irritated at the post office woman commenting on my name?

[LissyGlitter]

I changed my surname by deed poll about two years ago to match DP and DD. It was just easier, quicker and cheaper than getting married, and I'm old fashioned in that I like the idea of us all having the same name. I also started calling myself "Ms", mainly because I didn't want to sound like DPs sister by using Miss (and also a "miss" with a child didn't seem right, I wanted to mark that I was now a full-grown woman) and also because "Mrs" would sound like we were married, which we aren't (yet).

Anyway, now I always give my name as Ms, but it tends to get filled in as Miss or Mrs by people over the phone, so I have ID with all three titles on.

I went to the Post Office to cash a cheque today and the woman behind the counter very nearly refused to do it, on the grounds that the cheque was made out to Miss X, and the letter I had as ID (from the same people, btw, god knows why it was different) was addressed to Ms X. The PO woman said "Miss would mean you have never been married, and Ms would mean you are divorced, which are you?" I said it was complicated, as I couldn't be bothered to go into my life story with some random woman. It was only through me having a big pile of ID of all different types for both titles that she "let me off" as she put it.

Surely it is my choice what title I decide to use?

Blimey I thought I had slipped back to 1593 or something for a minute.

Miss means you are not married and Ms means you are divorced-Is the postlady for real?

I would be annoyed for you except I am deeply proud of you holding multiple ids in various guises, covering a multitude of lady's marital status.
Steady on or the postlady will be having you down as committing serious fraud.

Wikipdia:

[[British
The Times (UK) states in its style guide that: "Ms is nowadays fully acceptable when a woman wants to be called thus, or when it is not known for certain if she is Mrs or Miss"[15] although many British women are offended by its impersonal nature and perceived diminution of marital status especially when used randomly[citation needed].
The Guardian, which restricts its use of honorific titles to leading articles, states in its style guide: "use Ms for women... unless they have expressed a preference for Miss or Mrs".[16]
Most women in the UK style themselves either "Miss" or "Mrs"[citation needed] However, in some circles the appellation Ms is now standard, for instance in business ? and where one may not know or find relevant the marital status of the woman so addressed. Ms can also be used if the woman in question is divorced and reverts to her maiden name. Additionally, she may have changed her name by deed poll and uses Ms because it is neither a married nor a maiden name.]]

You are allowed to use whatever title suits, the same as your allowed to use whichever surname you wish if your married. I reverted to using my maiden name a few years ago but didnt get round to changing my driving license so today had to ask for a change of name and got (from the PO lady as well) "oh have you changed by deed poll etc". Its non of her farking business and I had all this when I originally changed back. There are no rules that say you have to use miss/ms/mrs or maiden/married name

How is Ms supposed to be pronounced? Is Mzzzzz wrong?

when I was at school Ms was the preferred title of the teachers of a feminist bent. AFAIK it was obvious to all the children then that these women were probably not divorced, merely feminists, so I can't see why it would be different now.

People should avoid unsolicited comment of this nature (Or of most natures in fact).

Sometimes I put myself down as 'Professor' or 'Lady', sometimes even Dr.

Mostly I'm Ms. And I bring all kinds of ID with me. I think of Ms as the feminine of Mr.

I like the french way of madame when you are over a certain age, and mademoiselle when you are younger.

I think the post office lady was very bleedin' nosey - but then they are notorious for it aren't they!

I tried using ms for a while, but everyone said it insinuated I was divorced or gay.

Have to admit I wasn't brave enough to stcik with it