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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate being from Essex sometimes?!

171 replies

PixiNanny · 15/10/2009 13:01

I move around a lot and meet a hell of a lot of people. Therefore it undoubtably comes to the "So, where are you from?" bit. I'm honest about being from Essex and will admit it happily. However on occasion (a quite regular occasion...) I will get the "Ooh... Essex then? You're an Essex Bird?" I grudgingly repeat myself only to get "Well, you don't speak like one. Do you act like one? winkwink" No, I don't. "Oh. ... Is that because you're a Mum already?" Do you see a child with me? No.

I hate it. Yes I know that Essex has a stereotype and that in quite a few cases that it is true, however I am not included in those cases! Wherever I go I have to put up with it, why should I lie about where I'm from to avoid the stereotypes?!

Maybe it's just stereotypes in general. I'm a bisexual, Middle Eastern, Essex girl. Therefore I must be a nymphomaniac, indecisive terrorist who sleeps around and has two kids at the age of twenty

OP posts:
Niecie · 15/10/2009 23:36

pipWereRabbit - I don't think Colchester does have a JL or HofF but it does have it's own posh department store - wasn't very pushchair friendly as I remember it, it was that posh!

Has lots of other nice little shops too.

sb6699 · 15/10/2009 23:37

The new bit Neicie. Its actually far more affordable than where we were originally looking (although I was in severe shock when we first moved down here and saw the house prices).

BrigitBigKnickers · 15/10/2009 23:39

Nah we have too many bloody pizza and Italian restaurants in Billericay! And if you want the Brasserie Gerrard you can have it!( Not great AT ALL)

Now a pie and mash shop sounds good! You have a great chinese too! (Jade palace- does great buffet meals)

citybranch · 15/10/2009 23:40

LOL at this thread!
I live in WAG country - Loughton! And used to live in Buckhurst Hill where you see people like Danielle Lloyd and Jack Tweed in Waitrose! I see Alan Sugar's Rolls Royce all the time, and a few footballers in Loughton High St, Jade Goody's kids went to a private school down the road...

These days I am very proud to be Essex.. but I used to be ashamed. I'm from Dagenham and DH is from Harold Hill, those towns are the opposite to where we are now.

I spent my teens going out in Romford and I will always hold it close to my heart! Also, I love the faded seaside 'glamour' of Southend.

hatesponge · 15/10/2009 23:40

benfmsmum - no, sadly not from emerson park! Thats just the rich branch of the family!

I usually say I come from near Romford (because most people have heard of Romford for one reason or another) but as you are a local I shall admit that I'm actually from Rainham

BrigitBigKnickers · 15/10/2009 23:41

When I was a teen the height of sophistication was shopping in Romford market!

purpleflower · 15/10/2009 23:42

Some parts of Colchester are very posh, just not the parts I know very well at the moment

pipWereRabbit · 15/10/2009 23:43

Agree about Jade Palace - boogying the night away on their huge dance floor, handbags in the middle......I feel a stereotype coming on.....

benfmsmum · 15/10/2009 23:45

Rainhams ok - if you whisper it!!! Actually there are some very nice parts of Rainham. I moved to Grays and have lived in Harold Hill twice so I can't say anything about the slighter rougher side of Essex!! There's good and bad everywhere!!

Haunty27 · 15/10/2009 23:46

Grrrrr. I'll always be proud of who I am and where I come from.

Nobody would make me feel any different.

Who is anybody to question where you come from?

You tell them girl.

BrigitBigKnickers · 15/10/2009 23:46

Yup I know that dance floor! Not enough room for dancers never mind their handbags too!

hatesponge · 15/10/2009 23:47

lol....I've lived in both the good and bad bits of Rainham so know exactly what you mean!

And however bad it was, I still miss it now I'm stuck sarf of the river in Kent!

notguilty · 15/10/2009 23:49

PMSL at the last paragraph of your opening post Pixi!

I know how you feel

I have the 'disadvantage' of coming from South London but being (shock horror!) fairly well-spoken. All to often conversations with new acquaintances, especially in the workplace, go like this

'So where are you from ng?'

'Brixton'.

'You don't sound like a girl from Brixton!'

On one occasion, at a business dinner party many years ago, I took the bait. I went to Primary school with a mixed ethnic crowd and many were still friends and I can, or at least could, do a mean Jamaican accent (though not as good as the beautiful real thing).

I replied in a slow Jamaican drawl,

'Well, wha' yoou wan' me to sound like? Ya tink me should sound like dis, don't it?'

As my Jamaican friend and colleague across the table collapsed in tears of laughter the shocked middle aged business man backed off so quickly, I thought he was going to have a heart attack.

he also quickly took his hand from where it had been under the table and on my leg, slowly working its way up, but not before I'd kicked his ankle!

Mr owner of the very posh and well known wine merchant, if you are ever to read this, you know who you are, and you've been outed!

benfmsmum · 15/10/2009 23:51

Ooo I've lived in Kent too!!! Come to think of it I've lived in a lot of places!!

Who remembers TOTS - Southend and Zero's?

There's nothing to hate about being from Essex!!!

notguilty · 15/10/2009 23:53

Lol benfmsmum, now there's a memory. TOTS = Tits n Tarts when my Essex pals knew it!

benfmsmum · 15/10/2009 23:56

LOL notguilty!! I'd missed that particular version!!

hatesponge · 15/10/2009 23:58

blimey, TOTs, last time I was there was about 1994 I think.

We used to 'frequent' Hollywoods, Ritzy (later Pulse) & Secrets in Romford

And the Circus Tavern back in the day when it was pay £15 and all your drinks were free all night.....

benfmsmum · 16/10/2009 00:01

I did Hollywoods once I think (I felt really old in there!!) and Secrets.

I went to the CIrcus Tavern with a works Christmas do when I was about 17 and Chas n Dave were the entertainment!

notguilty · 16/10/2009 00:02

Go away hatesponge! By 1994 my clubbing days had been over many a year since and I became a mum the year later. Cheers a bunch for making me feel so old!

benfmsmum · 16/10/2009 00:04

Don't worry notguilty I was just doing my sums and the last time I was clubbing (the first time round!!) was way before 1994 too!!

hatesponge · 16/10/2009 00:13

notguilty - I am not young! I was just a bit of a party girl til I had DS in 1998 and had to finally hang up my clubbing shoes.....

I spend most days in an office full of early-twentysomethings who were still at (primary) school in 1994 & treat me like something out of the ark......

benfmsmum · 16/10/2009 00:19

1994 only seems like yesterday. My ds wasn't born till 05 but even that was 4 years ago!!!

It's been nice reminiscing with you ladies - sorry PixiNanny your thread went off on a bit of tangent!! I'm off to bed now though - night all!

florence2511 · 16/10/2009 02:48

Niecie - Williams & Griffin - that's the name of the department store in Colchester. Is it still there??

I grew up in a small village to the north of Colchester from the age of 10-19. It was quite posh!!

Essex has its bad parts (the closer to London you get, the worse it gets), but there are some lovely villages and small towns. Coggeshall is picture perfect.

It also has some of the best Grammar schools in the country. Unfortunately my North Essex village, whilst having a Colchester postcode, was actually over the border in Suffolk so I didn't have the chance to take the 11+. Would have liked to have gone to Colchester County High School for Girls - oh well, ho hum.

Colchester Sixth Form College rocked though.

BrigitBigKnickers · 16/10/2009 08:28

Oooh! I remember TOTS (actually stands for "Talk of the Town" I went there for my Hen night in 1989!

In fact I think before it was a night club it used to be a venue for gigs too as I remember seeing the New Seekers there with a junior school friend in the 70's.

God I feel old!

GibbonWithAnAppleBobbingBibOn · 16/10/2009 08:34

We moved from London to Essex 4 years ago and never looked back! I love it here.

And Flo W&G still there