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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Actually it's more of an 'Am I being daft/over protective?'

35 replies

mamadiva · 15/10/2009 09:17

To cut a long story short(ish) MIL offered to take 3YO DS to hers for a week tomorrow, to start with I was a bit because he's only 3 and I thought a week was too long but then we sorted it between us for a long weekend which was fine.

So last week she phoned and says she's booked bus tickets and she could only get for next week so DS will now be away for 9 days and 8 nights!

Now maybe I am being over protective or daft but I just was not keen on the idea from the start because she lives 5 and a half hours away by bus, but I kind of let myself think he'll be fine.

That was until this morning when he has been screaming constantly since 4am that he does not feel well, he has finally gone for a sleep, I told DP and apparently he should still go because he will be fine and I am just trying to stop his family seeing DS

So anyway WWYD if you were in this situation?

OP posts:

Original poster

mamadiva · 15/10/2009 10:31

We normally get the train down and DS loves either TBH, I might go down on Tusday or soemthing then I could collect him or I suppose I could stay there with him for a few days... that way I am not stopping anyone from seeing him, I've had my break and he does'nt need to stay himself for too long.

OP posts:

diddl · 15/10/2009 10:33

Sorry, & I know hindsight is fine, but you should have stamped on it the minute it was longer than a week, imo.

He´s obviously not fit to go now by the sounds of things.

Will sound like a b!tch here, and it´s sad for MIL that you are so far away, but five and a half hours on a bus with a toddler-you´re joking!

Soshe would travel five and a half hours on the bus to collect, then travel back?

Or have I misread/misunderstood?

Can she stay with you instead for a few days?

TBH,I don´t get this wanting a break from children, though.

Original poster

mamadiva · 15/10/2009 10:45

Diddi- I did say to her about it being too long she only told me about tickets being booked on Tuesday.

She is coming up tonight, then taking DS on bus tomorrow, then (planning) to bring him back on Saturday on bus then travel back down the next day herself.

Well I know that not everyone feels the need to have a break from their children but I do as does DP. DS is a very hyperactive, demanding and basically physically and emotionally draining child.

I realise that makes me sound awful and maybe I am not the perfect parent but a few days in 3 years would be fantastic for all of us. Can't eb much fun for him either being stuck with me all day, everyday.

OP posts:

Original poster

mamadiva · 15/10/2009 10:46

Diddi- I did say to her about it being too long she only told me about tickets being booked on Tuesday.

She is coming up tonight, then taking DS on bus tomorrow, then (planning) to bring him back on Saturday on bus then travel back down the next day herself.

Well I know that not everyone feels the need to have a break from their children but I do as does DP. DS is a very hyperactive, demanding and basically physically and emotionally draining child.

OP posts:

jelliebelly · 15/10/2009 10:58

Of course you deserve a break but 9 days is a long time for a 3 yo - if he is so demanding your mil may not be able to cope with him for 9 days either. Previous suggestion that you go and get him after 3/4 days would probably be the best idea imo.

Original poster

mamadiva · 15/10/2009 11:02

I will prob go get him on Tuesday as I said.

OP posts:

Poohbearsmom · 15/10/2009 11:29

I think ur right to b a bit upset she changed the plan like that... And it is too long for a 3yr old... Its a pity to loose money but if he is sick could she stay with ye for an extra day then bring him on sat if he is better & u cud still go out for ur bday & hav a few days break too... Then u go & stay the few days & use her return ticket for next sat urself? Save her da return journey & say ud love da holiday urself...? My husband took our son home on holidays for a wk and a half when he was 2&a half & it was def too long for me (and i still had my little baby with me & my sister came to stay with me) but i missed him terribly & altho he too loved playin wit his cousins he found it very hard being away from me he bearly ate got sick & lost weight!! (and he had my husband wit him & is a tot daddys boy!!) Good luck hope they dont put da guiltr on ya and ur able to do whats right for ur little boy

girlsyearapart · 15/10/2009 12:24

that sounds like a good compromise.

you could spin it to dh and mil as you felt bad that mil had to do that long bus journey 4 times andso you'll collect him yourself.

diddl · 16/10/2009 17:09

Yes, I agree that if you could collect him yourself.

She really should have checked with you about the tickets.

I´m not judging you about needing/wanting a break.

Sorry if it came out like that.

But 9days too long IMO.

Also, would she cope?

I know my ILs wouldn´t have.

Madascheese · 16/10/2009 17:17

Hello. My lovely 3yo DS goes to his dad every 3 weeks for 10 days (Definately NOT my idea)

It's pretty disruptive experience for us all esp DS as it goes and I would prefer to have more frequent shorter breaks.

I don't think yabu at all and I think the suggestion of saving her a trip and nipping down to collect him would be a good one.

BTW DS sees my Mum and Dad on an almost daily basis and they totally heart him but they do find him pretty hard work as a normal active pre schooler....

How did you go at the Docs it sounds like an infection to me as well.
xMad

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