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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be too bothered about this?

30 replies

boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:22

MIL looked after DS the other day - he is nearly 8 months. While they were at a restaurant DS had a bit of an 'episode' and they gave him his dummy, but he dropped it and the only thing she could find to rinse it in was coke . Now, I can well understand when a baby explodes in public you don't always think before you act and I suspect it was a bit of an 'oh shit, do something' moment, and I'm quite prepared to let this go as a) I think MIL feels guilty (which was why she 'fessed up immediately), and b) she doesn't look after him often enough for this sort of thing to ever be an issue. Obviously I'd rather it hadn't happened but as a one off I don't think it's going to hurt him.

But, at my baby group today I happened to mention it and some of the reactions made me think I'm wrong to not raise it with her. She loves DS to bits and would never intentionally hurt him. WWYD?

OP posts:
Orimental · 14/10/2009 22:24

Oh FFS! It was a rinse! I have never given DS fizzy drinks and now he won't go near them (he will actually recoil), but to just quickly rinse a dummy?!

The other mum's are being anal.

Geocentric · 14/10/2009 22:24

If its a one off (sounds like it if she "confessed"), I'd let it go. Better in her coke than in her mouth, as I often did with mine (yuk).

jasper · 14/10/2009 22:24

say nothing and be glad your MIL looks after him.
Your baby group friends are overreacting, as of course it won't hurt him.

Tidey · 14/10/2009 22:24

YANBU. Provided she isn't actually giving him bottles of it to drink, I really don't think it'll harm him. Obviously not the best thing to use, but as you say, probably a 'act quickly and think later' moment. And clearly she knows it wasn't ideal, or she'd have kept quiet about the whiole thing.

thehairybabysmum · 14/10/2009 22:24

Same as you...takes more than that to faze me.

Just be thankful for a laid back attitude, it just means your life is soooo much easier than people who stress about tiny things!!

Also what a lovely MIL you have!

jasper · 14/10/2009 22:25

lots of kids are guzzling coke in their bottles at that age

GrimmaTheNome · 14/10/2009 22:25

I'd be very grateful to have a loving MIL capable of looking after my baby and with enough nous to find some sterile fluid with which to wash the dummy.

Of course a small trace of coke once isn't going to do any harm.

WTF do these baby group mothers think you should do?

Original poster
boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:26

Thank you, that's exactly my opinion. I will let it go. I'm very much of the school of thought that as long as he has a healthy and varied diet the odd blip ain't gonna hurt him. Did make him hyper though .

OP posts:
ChasingSquirrels · 14/10/2009 22:26

hum, if she was all defensive about it and thought it was perfectly reasonable then I would probably have said something, but in the circumstances you describe I'd do what you did and move on.

HuwEdwards · 14/10/2009 22:26

boundarybabe you seem a reasonable rational person who took this in her stride quite sensibly.

The baby group mums are just trying to be superior and make you feel bad.

lovely to see another mum with a good relationship with her mil

Original poster
boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:27

thehairybabysmum - she is lovely, and after reading some of the threads on here, I know how lucky I am!

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 14/10/2009 22:27

Why would you raise it with her? She has raised it with you. To go back to it again would be pointless, wouldn't it?

choccyp1g · 14/10/2009 22:28

Much better than licking it, which I've seen many people do with dummies.

stealthsquiggle · 14/10/2009 22:29

Baby group need to get a grip.

Your MIL did something on the spur of the moment and told you about it straight away - what's to be overly bothered about?

Original poster
boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:29

Huw, do you think I should claim it as a first - "you mean your baby hasn't had coke yet? mine has."

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 14/10/2009 22:30

Nice! That's the way to play it I reckon...

Original poster
boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:30

Guys, I'm not going to raise it with her. Was just checking I wasn't being overly lax. Which I am about many things. He is PFB as well. Do I get a prize for being laid back?

OP posts:
BratleyEatsBrainsForBreakfast · 14/10/2009 22:31

They probably made a big deal out of it because coke is evil and being shocked at something like that is the right thing to do in a group situation where no one wants to be the one to say 'nothing wrong with that' incase everyone else gangs up on them.

Was only a rinse, it won't make him ill, just be glad you're not easily stressed by silly things!

HuwEdwards · 14/10/2009 22:32

oh definitely! puff yourself up with undeniable pride and announce it!!

hatesponge · 14/10/2009 22:32

I wouldnt worry about it. The baby group mums probably all have evil MILs & are secretly of yours!

Look on the bright side - when I was a baby, my parents used to dip my dummy in brandy...

Geocentric · 14/10/2009 22:34

OP, did you explain that he didn't sniff it...
Your baby group does sound OTT, good for you for being chilled out!

GrimmaTheNome · 14/10/2009 22:37

yeah, I reakon they're suffering from Good MIL envy too. Local capable granny is truly the only thing I've ever really envied!

cat64 · 14/10/2009 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
boundarybabe · 14/10/2009 22:38

Haha, yes he isn't quite on the hard stuff yet (not till you're 12, son).

OP posts:
mummywoowoo · 14/10/2009 22:40

Yew.. I understand where you're coming from it does feel a bit wrong - but on the spur of the moment we all do odd things, and besides will not have harmed him unless he's very sensitive to sweetner or something.

Also - would love to have MIL like this to help out! At least she told you!! (Good sign,no ladies?)

Really wouldn't worry about it.

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