Oooh, it really annoys me when people go on about 'cut up cows' and 'unmade beds.'
If you think art is just pretty pictures, then that's lovely.
But you're absolutely missing the point if you just dismiss contemporary pieces as what they are on the surface. If it's just a bed or just a cut up cow to you, then you're sadly lacking in imagination and empathy. Or are just deliberately obtuse.
I'm not saying you have to like them or think they're well done, but surely they must make you think a little. Damien Hirst has thought long and hard about mortality. There's loads of writing that goes with the 'cut up cow' etc. and a lot of lead-up work before he got to making that piece. You can follow his thought process and it's pretty intricate imo.
I entirely agree with McSnail about comments like 'Well my 5 year old could do that' - no. No, he couldn't. He could splatter paint on the wall, but he couldn't write an artist's statement about it. He couldn't explain what it was expressing. The art isn't just about what you see upfront.
Also, what the hell is all this 'And I asked my friend who is BI' business? How does that make her any more qualified on the subject? And all this gay porn business? Is heterosexual porn any better?