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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take dc along to parents 'evening'?

28 replies

FimbleHobbs · 10/10/2009 12:53

Dc are 3 & 4. Have a parents evening slot at 4.30pm soon (first one, as ds just started reception).

Do I turn up with them both and let them sit in the book corner during appointment? This way dh and I can both attend (as have both arranged time off work) or is this not the done thing and is only one parent meant to go while other is at home with dc? Seems a bit unfair if dh can't go as the teacher has already given us a lecture on how Dads Need To Be Involved.

I wanted to see what the norm was before asking the school in case I am in new parent cloud cuckoo land. I'd rather look stupid on here!

Thanks

OP posts:
stuffitllllama · 10/10/2009 12:54

I have taken mine. I don't think it's unreasonable at all.

jobhuntersrus · 10/10/2009 13:04

It is better to not bring them if you can help it but I have brought mine plenty of times. The only thing with having them there is it can be tricky talking about them when they are sat right next to you. Encourage them to go and sit and play on the other side of the room and it should be fine. I made mine wait outside this year but they are older.

biglips · 10/10/2009 13:06

is there no creche you know at the school? as at my dd's school have them. If not, im sure it be ok to bring them along.

reikizen · 10/10/2009 13:07

I took mine last year when dd1 was in reception . I think it's perfectly reasonable unless you or the teacher has anything of importance to discuss because there is no way you can do so with two toddlers around (not mine anyway).

famishedass · 10/10/2009 13:12

I always used to take all mine with me even though the school sent out letters saying children weren't allowed.

Quite what they expected me to do with my children whilst I was at parents evening always amused me

freakname · 10/10/2009 13:14

Book corner sounds just fine. Welcome new parent [waves]

Mybox · 10/10/2009 13:16

I take mine - it's fine. For one event that was childfree I didn't go.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/10/2009 13:25

My ds1 only does 1/2 days atm. We've got a parents evening this week and he's going to come with me.

The in-laws are having ds2, but they can't cope with both boys at a time so I think it'll be easier to take ds1 (4) rather than ds2 (16 months).

Tombliboobs · 10/10/2009 13:54

I would take them, but just agree between you and your DH, who will take them out if they are not settled. You know if your children will be able to sit quietly while you chat and it would be lovely for you both talk to the teacher.

I had a nightmare a few times when I would be talking to the parents and their children were so badly behaved that I couldn't concentrate and the parents were constantly stopping me with, just a minute x stop doing, x come here, x put that down, x why have you broken that, what's wrong x and so and so on

PeedOffWithNits · 10/10/2009 14:05

our school shows a DVD in the hall for kids, the headteacher and members of the PTA supervise - and kids are only left about 10 minutes. baby/toddler we still take to the appointment with us.

piscesmoon · 10/10/2009 14:08

I think most schools allow for this and have a creche in the Hall.

Tombliboobs · 10/10/2009 14:24

A creche is a great idea, none of the schools that I have worked in have had one.

Original poster
FimbleHobbs · 10/10/2009 14:33

Thanks for all the replies, good to know I am not being outrageous - and good point re. deciding who will go out if needed. It's only 10 minutes so should be fine but you never know.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 10/10/2009 14:35

If they hold them in the afternoon they have to accept that childcare isn't easy and make provision. Have a quick word with the teacher OP and ask what normally happens.

IdrisTheDragon · 10/10/2009 14:35

I have taken DS and DD for all of his. And will be a week on Wednesday. Either DH will be there and wanting to join in, or he won't and I will have nowhere else to put them!

Original poster
FimbleHobbs · 10/10/2009 14:36

Forgot to say, there is no crèche, they do have them sometimes but only for school
children not for younger siblings.

OP posts:
Smithagain · 10/10/2009 14:38

We have no creche. If possible, I try and make a deal with another parent, so we have each others' kids during our appointments. But sometimes I've taken the children in. It's easier to concentrate if they aren't there, but there's never really been a problem.

cat64 · 10/10/2009 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Clary · 10/10/2009 14:47

I always take all 3 of mine. Often not much option.
They sit in a cornre and read. when they were very little I might ask a nearby mum to keep an eye.

Clary · 10/10/2009 14:48

Should add I mean they stay in the hall while me and DH go into the teacher's room.

rimmer08 · 10/10/2009 16:46

i am a teacher and parents do this all the time, i think its sweet and gives a bigger picture of what the students are like. i love to see the other children there and interact with them. BTW dont have any of my own YET!!

piscesmoon · 10/10/2009 17:03

I can't really say what most schools do, but I should think that most parents take their DCs at that time-so I wouldn't worry.

katiestar · 10/10/2009 17:24

At our primary school they don't like the child concerned to be in the meeting but other kids ok.What normally happens is that parents watch each others children while they wait.
Creche in the hall is a great idea though!

OrmIrian · 10/10/2009 17:28

We never took ours in primary school. Usually DH went as I was the one who had most of the contact with the school otherwise. In secondary were are encouraged to bring the children.

I don't think it will matter if you take them though - as long as you don't find it too distracting, and bear in mind you may be waiting around as things rarely run to timetable.

primarymum · 10/10/2009 17:30

Certainly at my school we expect parents might have to turn up with children, both those that attend the school and those younger/older. The Head runs a creche in the hall with lego, colouring, small toys, there is usually a school slide show/dvd to watch. We would normally expect the child being talked about to be in the interview with their parents, after all it is them we are talking about, they need to have their say too!