Hi
I've just joined, wanted to spill this all out and see what people think and get some advice on the matter. It's really be bothering me and I'm finding it hard to sleep at night with thinking about it, and getting upset
Bit of a lowdown on our situation.... We have one daughter and another on the way. DH's sister has 3 and his bro has 1 from his wifes previous marriage. DH's mum use to be a childcare worker, and so is his sister.
His sister always and I mean always has comment to say about everyone - in a way to make people look bad and I think it is to make herself look good - and really manipulates her mum - like she's trying to poision her with thinking bad stuff about people.
She complains that they're poor, when they're on a descent wage, not as much as we are on so she keeps telling us - but she goes on she wants nothing but the best, spends big, then goes to DH's parents for handouts. Example is DH's nephews party, she spends hundreds on his bday presents, then cries poor. Takes DH's father to spotlight and he buys all the party stuff - you think since they're paying now, you would go basic - but no she still wants nothing but the best and goes all out bigtime and overboard with them paying. I know she makes them feel bad by making out they're missing out. And they defintely arent everytime we see their kids they have new toys to show off.
She's said stuff about how her eldest is the oldest grandchild, not FH's bro's son because his not blood related. She tells her daughter who is 5 and a half that she is the boss, because she is the eldest, her daughter bosses our DD around like nothing else, "get this, go get that" etc our DD is 4 in 2 months. The other day at the get together, they have a kids table for the kids and us adults sit at our own table, they make a place for DH's niece at the adult table. DD is at the kids table and then asks outloud in front of everyone "how come is at the big table" instead of with the other kids like they normally are. MIL quickly says to DD "becuase is 5 and a half years old, and older than you". I am so sick of them giving her this power over DD and telling her she's boss over her. We're then encouraging DD to eat her food, they their son, then hops off without having to eat. The organises a concert. The last one DD didnt want to dance and DH's sister goes on and on how DD is shy - which she normally is not, but I heard how was bossing her around and talking to her like dirt. Again with this next concert DD gets up for her turn and wont sit down and let her have a turn, she's standing their bossing DD around - and you'd think they would tell her it is DD's turn.
DD starts bawling which is never like her, she finally tells me that _ hit her in the head with this hard wand - in front of her mum, and no she doesn't get her to apologise. On the way home DD goes on how __ never said sorry. I know if I heard that DD made another child upset by hurting them I'd get her to apologise - and SIL knows better too.
DH's parents spend heaps on them buying little presents throughout the year, and spend a lot more on them for christmas.
I know was quieter, and they held her back from school for this reason, she's very bright and advanced. Now she's loud, and I don't like them giving her permission to boss DD around, like don't use DD to boss around to boost her confidence and the whole you're the eldest, and not pulling her up on not playing nice and getting her to apologise. They do go on now "she's such a leader..." My heart went out to DD when she noticed how she got to sit at the table then her grandma went on with all that rubbish. My mum would'nt dare be like that, or favourtise one over the other. I guess I'm just upset everythings not fair, and feel they're using DD to boost __ up, by not pulling her up on her rudeness when they see it and having her own special rules etc.
I think I need a break for a while! Last visit DH's sister had the nerve to pester me to have DD and together more often becuase they play so differently and play so well. I know what they're up to.
If anyone read this thanks lol feel a bit better after writing, I know this sounds really petty, but it makes me sick to my stomach especially that DD is picking up on all their garbage.