to think my family and colleagues are being arses?

[messymessymessy]

My career has fallen apart this week. Big big major project on which I've been working since 2004 has been pulled by the other person (it's not essential enough to her career) and has consequently been dumped by the publisher.

(For complicated but unavoidable reasons) this basically means I am now unemployable in my area of academia and that I am going to have to give up everything I've worked towards for the last 20 years. I have no idea where to start looking for a job, no idea of what I could be employed to do - no skills industry could want.

My colleagues couldn't give a monkey's. They all think it was the right decision and the other person can now finally get on with her career (which she has been doing the whole time she's been on the project - she had not actually done anything). They have seen me working day and night to complete this project by the end of this year. They know that it has destroyed my career to have the project just dumped.

My family also couldn't give a monkey's. They just said "oh don't be so melodramatic" and "well you chose that career, maybe you're just reaping the rewards. and you'll have a few more surprises when you see what your career-chasing has done to your child".

I've been working on this career since I was about 10. It has collapsed in a heap. I just said the project had been pulled and that i would now have to start job hunting outside academia. They knew how big the project was- it was all I'd been talking about (in relation to work) for years. Also my father works in the same field - he knows how big it was and that my career is broken beyond repair.

Is that melodramatic?
Is this the time to start accusing me of being a terrible working mother who has destroyed my child's life chances by sending him to nursery?

Am I really missing something here?

Just want you to know that it's not impossible to move into a new career with your background if that's what you want.

I have a guy who works for me and has a similar background to you. Decided that he wanted to be a "scientist" when he was little (primary school - just like you) and spent all his life working towards it. At the age of 28, after a PhD and some time working in research he decided that much as he enjoyed it, research wasn't for him (money being the reason in his case) and went and changed careers. He joined a grad scheme in the public sector and although he was older than most of the other grads he did really well (I think because he was more mature).

We were happy to take him on after this as although his experience wasn't strictly relevant, he had lots of transferrable skills that we could use. And the really good news is that he is doing incredibly well and really enjoys his new job.

Hope that a positive story of someone in a similar situation to you makes you feel better and convinces you that there are options out there!

RE the job side of things, why don't you double post in employment issues? there is some brill advice going round there - I got some great advice on my 'disappearing' job!

so sorry your family and colleagues are being so un-feeling

Your colleagues and family are probably deeply frustrated with you. You've acquired two PHDs but have 'no idea where to start looking for a job, no idea of what I could be employed to do - no skills industry could want.' That's just foolish - you probably don't want to hear that but that's how it strikes me and I think the reason you have a reaction from your family etc that upsets you is because their suppressing what they really think and it's not working very well.

Why exactly did this academic career seem like a good idea then? Judging by the fact that you've spent five years on this project yet can't carry it alone nor attract other support when your co-author dumps you - well I'm wondering exactly how good a match you are with this area anyway. Wanting to do something because it's nice isn't enough. I quite fancied a history MA for that reason but it wold have been massively self indulgent of me so I resisted. I think in many ways you being 'dumped' now is the best thing to happen to you because you are young enough to start over.

Look in the local paper and websites tonight for a job to tide you over then start looking around at what takes your interest then train for that career and don't ever let yourself be in so dependant and weak position again. You're an intelligent person so make canny choices.

Was it not obvious during the 5 years you spent working on this project that is wasn't really going to plan?

This doesn't quite add up. If you were so focused on this area since you were a young girl, why did you do another PhD (and presumably BSc prior) in a completely unrelated field? Also if you have enough prestige to be an author on multi-volume authoritative text on a subject, you also have enough material to submit a few review articles to journals. It sounds like you are on a post-doc contract. If so, who is your funder and who is the PI on your project? The PI won't want a project with zero output because that will affect their future funding, but I assume the PI is not you because otherwise you would be the budget holder on your own project and no-one could just pull the plug on your behalf.

My field also relies on high volume of publications, but people will also overlook this when there is a good reason. Also, it is possible to go down the teaching dominated route - several of my colleagues have the title "university teacher" which denotes a teaching dominated role.

On the other hand however, your father sounds like he is being an arse. I you are in the university system have you tried contacting the UCU to see whether they can act on your behalf to object to any decisions made?

Haven't read all, but got as far as all the PHds.

I don't know what sort of money you need - but there are always jobs, of course there are. Someone with your analytical/precision/care will be an asset to many different types of role/industry.

Like northern lurker says start with the local paper. Get some job specs. Think positively - each point they ask for - you are bound to have done it at some point - write it down.

Times are hard at the mo, but you need to get your arse in gear and look for the next thing, rather than dwelling on things.