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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my dh to answer the door to supermarket delivery

53 replies

notimetoshop · 08/10/2009 23:35

I was reading kids bedtime story.
He didn't want to. I didn't expect him to unpack, and he didn't.
and he's gone to bed and left socks on the floor AGAIN.

He says it's all about me and me trying to get out of doing the shop on a saturday, it only benefits me. so I should sort it out.

  1. We all eat the food - not just me, it benefits us all
  2. and what is so wrong with trying to drop a 2 hour shop with 2 kids on saturday afternoon.
  3. i only asked him to answer the door.
OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 09/10/2009 00:40

don't point it out gently tell him, like this:

"you are a twat"

if you feel uncomfortable with that try

"you are the po on my shoe"

hobbgoblin · 09/10/2009 00:41

poo obviously

SomeGuy · 09/10/2009 00:44

There are reasons why he might reasonably tell you to do it

  • he has no clothes on
  • he was currently painting the ceiling

but the line about it saving you time on Saturday is absurd. Why doesn't he do the shopping on Saturdays instead?

hobbgoblin · 09/10/2009 00:47

My ex dp did this once to the HV. He spent about 4 months in hospital in the mental health ward some time soon after and then proceeded to try and strangle me some time after that. Not all weirdo selfish ignorant twats get THAT bad obviously but refusing to answer the door after the age of 7 is certainly A Bad Sign.

BiteOfFun · 09/10/2009 01:10
Shock
JustAnotherManicMummy · 09/10/2009 01:33

I don't like opening the door to the HV. But that is because mine has some, shall we say "interesting" opinions.

I do open the door for the Tesco delivery though. But he brings wine and biscuits so would be daft not to.

supersalstrawberry · 09/10/2009 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

l39 · 09/10/2009 09:58

Could he be ill or on some medication? My husband is usually decent and reasonable. When he got whiplash in a minor car accident, though, and was on muscle relaxants he became a monster of rage and irrationality. Once he stopped taking the tablets, he stopped acting like a complete bastard (except at rare intervals when feeling ill).

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/10/2009 10:06

So he let tesco take it all away again? He didn't want to open the door because food shopping is your job and if you are so lazy as to not want to drag kids round the supermarket on a saturday afternoon you should open the door yourself, even when you are busy with your (his) children?

This is Un.Be.Lie.Va.Ble.

Do you do all the childcare and housework then? Is it all your job?

Oh my God how the fuck dare he make your life hard to punish you for trying to make your life slightly less hard? I am furious for you. This is just childish behaviour, punishing you for being so audacious as to want to save yourself some time when you should be slaving away for the family while he sits on his arse cos he's the man with the penis.

Doesn't sound very lovely to me either.

slowreadingprogress · 09/10/2009 10:26

Trying to make his daughter pick up his socks for him and put them in the laundry

Of course children can help as part of the whole family taking their share but he wasn't asking her to put her socks in the laundry, clearly he was just being a lazy unattractive arse who thinks his wife and daughter are there to pick up his crap

yuk

AtheneNoctua · 09/10/2009 10:43

My DH did this once. He sat upstairs working and listening to his MP3 player. Never heard the door bell. I had to go to Tesco and pick up the groceries. I was not home when the Tesco man came, but arrived home from work about 20 minutes later to pick up the pieces. DH had been told about the delivery. He just forgot. I had plenty to say the rest of the weekend on the subject.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/10/2009 11:07

Yes Athene but OP's DH knew tesco was there but chose not to answer the door!

AtheneNoctua · 09/10/2009 11:12

Oh, I didn't mean to say what he did was okay. He's a twit, and worse than my DH. And actually the thing that's really appalling is that he went on to justify it.

stealthsquiggle · 09/10/2009 11:21

Oh FGS. That has to be a symptom of him being cross about something entirely unrelated, surely? He cannot possibly mean it - can he? I mean my DH can be a twit occasionally about division of labour, but he would never do that.

Herecomesbod · 09/10/2009 11:56

Is he possibly scared of the bogieman, thereby exempting him in his head from answering the door? I would suggest some form of counselling, perhaps get him to start with small steps, such as getting his arse off the sofa, then standing upright, then putting one foot in front of the other, etc. He would also need to confront his fear of the laundry basket at the same time.

roulade · 09/10/2009 12:01

Your DH for example, is a prick!

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/10/2009 12:11

You say your husband is lovely, but his behaviour is most certainly not. Could you please give an example of how he is lovely? I think you may be thinking he is lovely based on distant memories, and you need to update your image of him.

Think through the getting your DD to put his socks in the laundry incident - by asking her to do it he recognises it needs to be done. He also considers it beneath him to do it himself. So he regards you and DD as beneath him. That is not lovely.

And why on earth do you feel you have to let it go? (your post of Fri 09-Oct-09 00:13:33) You need to not let it go, because there is a definite problem here which needs addressing.

fizzpops · 09/10/2009 12:36

Say to him, 'I've made an executive decision that it is now your responsibility to do the shopping on a Saturday.... But by arranging for it to be delivered I have saved you all the hassle of having to do the shopping at the weekend, aren't you grateful? I'm sure you won't mind answering the door next time.'

My DH isn't in when our food shopping gets delivered but it frees up both of our afternoons on a Saturday so he is all for it, in fact it was his suggestion we shop online. If he was at home when it arrived he would open the door, sign for it and then put it away like any other normal person. Although probably not 100% in the places it was meant to go.

Firawla · 09/10/2009 12:47

his behaviour is totally out of order!

AtheneNoctua · 09/10/2009 12:53

I don't understand why not doing the online shop results in you and the kids going to Tesco. Surely you could go to Tesco and he could look after his kids. Then, when you get home, you could look after the kids and he could put it away. (although if he is anything like my DH he won't put it away very well)

To be fair to my DH, groceries arrive Thursday night when he gets home from work (he has been at work since Monday) and about half the time I am away for work on Thursday night. So he does quite a bit of the work. But, he has no concept of removing old rotten food from fridge before sticking the fresh food on top of it. Last night he called me and while we were talking he said he had put the carrots in the cupboard under the sink because they didn't fit in the fridge. He said I could sort it when I get home tonight. double

freakname · 09/10/2009 13:27

socks for breakfast anyone?

vvvodka · 09/10/2009 13:34

i dont suppose this is much to do with how the thread has progressed, but the title rmeinded me of something funny that happened a year ago

tesco deliveryman called. i couldnt get to the door, cant remember reason why, but ws just no possibilty, and dh knew this ( it hink ankle in cast). dd, then aged five, or possibly not quite five yet, oopened door, asked him to bring stuff in. place on kitchen floor, possibly her big brother also involved, he only year older than her. dh meanwhile in front room, working on computer, oblivious. lol, the tesco deliveryman, wouldnt let five year old dd sign ofr food, obviousyl, and managed to get dh's attention, and then proceeded to tell him off..... was sooo funny listening to him apologise to the strnage man in his house, for why he had been oblivious to him conversing with his dd.

PuppyMonkey · 09/10/2009 13:41

I am just amazed at what some women will put up with. Seriously.

GoldenSnitch · 09/10/2009 13:44

What kind of loving partner is so up his own arse that he can't even open a door for the Tesco delivery cause it's 'the wife's job'?!?!?!

Twunt!

TheCrackFox · 09/10/2009 13:50

He sounds like a twunt.

However, I would like to know what exactly it is that he has to do every Saturday afternoon. Very suspicious.

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