to not invite the whole class to ds4 birthday party

[oneofakind]

my ds will be four in a couple of months. i am planning on doing a joint birthday party with a friend to share stress/cost etc as have never thrown a kids party before (previous birthdays with family). ds at nursery with a class of 20 and invites to parties so far have gone to all classmates. my friend and I were thinking three friends each plus parents/carers and that seems like enough! there are a couple of children ds would really like to invite from nursery but I'm thinking it might be better to have none and just a couple from outside of nursery so no-one feels left out - what do you think?

Whole class parties are common up to about Y1 (and beyond in smaller classes), but they are by no means compulsary. Infact some children don';t have a party at all.

So long as you are not inviting everyone in the class bar 2 or 3, or inviting all the boys except 1 or 2, then you should invite who your (and rather your DS) wants.

Your party, your choice.

why can't you invite the friends your ds wants? I don't get all this stuff, surely it is your ds's party so he should have the friends he wants

nursery no

but in reception yes you have to

thanks for swift replies
2shoes - yes happy to invite his two good nursery friends but was'nt sure of the etiquette iyswim - did'nt want others to feel left out but equally dont want it all to become unwieldy and stressful.

You definitely don;t HAVE to invite them all. But if you are having a party in a hall/in your home then it doesn't really hurt. If you are doing a day trip out to Chessington / Bowling etc I can see quite why 3 friends each is plenty.

But surely you are not having a joint party (as in a party with games, entertainment, cakes and balloons etc) and only inviting 6 kids between the two of them? I find that a little odd.

hando - cant host at home as live in a flat -may hire the local soft play place and think 10 kids max is more than enough personally (I find it stressful with one!). there will also be parents/carers too. err - wasnt thinking of entertainment - should I be (shock!) more likely a run around together and then sit down for food/drinks and then bubble machine/dancing/music and one game - pelotta (sp) or pin the donkey - is that not enough?? 1-2hours max bout 11am

I think 10 kids is a good number for soft play parties. I have never known anyone to have the whole class to that type of party - too expensive!

The food is usually ghastly though, so I would do my own and take it with me. Where will you do the music and dancing / bubbles? I'm sure an indoor play centre wouldn't allow bubbles for health and safety (wet floor) reasons?

I have no idea what perlotta is or if you spelt it right

Do what you want to do and don't feel obliged just to return invitations. If people want the madness of the whole class that is up to them-it isn't your problem. Children that age much prefer a smaller do, with the DCs who are important to them. They are never equally friendly with the whole class. I agree with cat64-one guest per number of years is a good guide. Have more when it is important to them (the age that most people cut down!).

YANBU

You can ivite as many or as few people as you want to any parties you organise.

Just invite the friends your ds wants to invite. Don't worry about etiquette etc., really. Life is too short to stress out about birthday parties.