to think DDs friend´s mother is being a meanie?

[MunkyNuts]

DD1 is 4 and she sometimes goes to play with her friend when the friend´s Nanny is looking after them. DS2 is 3 and likes to go where DD1 goes. The Nanny has also done some nannying for us so knows my DC well and has said she is happy for them both to go round. I asked the mother today if it was ok if DS2 came along this afternoon to play with the girls and she said no. She said she was afraid her DD might get left out. We were all at their house yesterday after a ballet class and it was very clear that if anything it was my DS who was getting left out but he was happy to play on his own and occasionally check in to see what the girls were doing. The mother also doesn´t want her DD to come to our house with the Nanny in case she gets nervous (mother´s a bit neurotic imo). She also said I needed to look for a friend for my DS2 to play with. I know he needs friends of his own but he´s just started a new school and hasn´t had chance to bond with anyone yet. I just feel awful dropping off my DD and dragging DS away saying he can´t stay to play. Should I just let this go? I can´t help feeling upset for my DS.

I can´t believe how many people are getting hung up on the trying to get free childcare scenario, as explained above this is definitely not an issue. I invite the little girl to come to our house where I´d happily supervise the playing but the mother is afraid she´d be too scared to come, the Nanny suggested she brought her to make it easier (again, I was not trying to get the Nanny to come with her so I could get free childcare at my house). I simply remember as a young child playing a lot with my older brother and our friends together especially when we were 3 or 4yo. I didn´t realise that this was such an unusual thing, but now I get the picture, I am being VERY unreasonable...!