To feel slightly narked at being categorised as 'dopey forgetful mum'?

[OrmIrian]

I know my DC are one of the ones who sometimes turn up looking less than box-fresh in the mornings, without coats or sunhats on the days when the teacher deems they need them, and sometimes (very rarely) we forget something that they need, and occassionally arrive just before the bell goes and don't have time to chat but we are hardly ever properly late (3 times in the past 8 years), most forms and monies are returned within a day or so of receiving them, homework is 99% of the time done and handed in on time, they always have a complete PE kit etc etc

So it is fair that I appear to have been given the label of 'mother most likely to fuck things up'? DS#1 had a leaking drinks bottle and was told not to bring it back in to school - he misinterpreted that as being that he couldn't bring his lunch bag back in and was upset. I went to check with the TA and she confirmed that it was only the bottle that was banned - but she said 'I was quite firm with DS1 as I wanted to make sure the message got back to you Mrs W' (ho ho ). DS took his hw in late last week as he thought it had to be in on Friday instead of Thursday - we made a point of making sure it was in on time - I saw the teacher and apologised for it being late last week and she said 'Oh that's OK, I know all about you and how busy you are.'

I am beginning to feel a bit paranoid tbh. I know it doesn't matter, and it was said in a friendly joking manner, but am wondering why? Is it because I work and am not there for things in school? I managed fine with both my other DC - why am I seen as hopeless and helpless now? I have always counted as one of my few virtues the fact that my DC get there on time, dressed, fed and equipped and that I can then get on to work.

Didn't help that on the way out of school I spoke to DS#1's friend's mum who said that she forgot her boy's hw but he said it was OK 'because J's mum always forgets his hw too'. I DON'T ALWAYS FORGET HIS HW!

I've banned 'My mum forgot....' in my classroom.
'You forgot...' is what they are told is the correct assessment of events, be it PE kit or homework.

I think I have been tagged a slovenly mum. Speaking to a mum I don't know very well, at the school gate the other day, she said she was having trouble bleaching the fruit stains out of her DDs shirt. She looked most disapproving when I said I only give DD banana and apple so it doesn't stain. She then went on to discuss the merits of school skirt/pinafore vs school trousers, and looked v. shocked when I said that DD wears a pinafore so I can get away without ironing her school shirt!
OP, I think you should revel in it, even if it isn't true!!!

YANBU, but perhaps DS has said little things or written them in his work etc as kids tend to do.

I actually really wouldn't like this as it sounds as though they've been bitching behind your back which is mean. Sounds like you're doing your best and a good job.

With regards to her not liking DS much, the fact is, she is in a role within the community and both organisational policy and the law state that she should not discriminate against any child. It's her duty to treat every child equally. You should have no inclination that she likes your child any more or less than others. She sounds a little unprofessional and she's upset you

Possibly the teacher is projecting - in that maybe she's a busy working Mum, and is also a dopey forgetful Mum. The fierce persona at school may not have any relation to whether her kids get their homework done on time, etc. She sees that you are busy and working, and assumes that everyone is the same as her.

Still bloody annoying, though.

My ds is dire about this sort of thing. It is supposed to be correlated with being dyslexic, but I think he's just not terribly interested in remembering things. He used to blame us totally for not having whatever he needed to have until he had a teacher like Goblinchild who introduced the interesting concept of taking responsibility. Now it's dh that gets them ready for school they have to be more organised as he is much less forgiving than me, and gets very cross about sudden "Daddy we need xyz" requests 5 mins before school.

I should confess though that ds's forgetfulness is almost certainly an inheritance from me

You sound very organised to me Orm.

I really am dopey forgetful mum. This morning I got out a change of trousers and pants to put in dd's bag for preschool then as I was leaving her at school realised I'd forgotten to put them in her bag. Trotted back round and asked one of the staff to put them in her bag then when picking her up thought her bag felt full-the plastic bag containing the skirt and tights she'd weeed in on Thursday was still in there How disgusting is that?

Last year I forgot to take presents for santa to give to my dc at the toddler group Christmas party-they had to sit there while all the other children had their names called and got a present

Half these things people are reading into what teachers and mums have said to them I wouldn't even notice! I'm quite glad about that!