my sis in law and he 'whatever' attitude to her nephews

[carocaro]

I have known my sis in law for 21 years and she has always been great with her nephews aged 2 and 7.

She married last year and since then we have seen her three times. He husband is a bit of a wally and seems to have turned her into a bit of a doormat eg: they always seem to do what he wants etc etc.

My DH went to stay the other week and he did not even come to say hello for over an hour as he was on the computer and my SIL had cooked a meal. Then he lay in bed all morning and did not say goodbye. We saw them in the Summer for 4 hours on a beach, he did not play with the kids once and barely spoke and only moved once which was when they left.

We have been invited to a 50th party I would love to go to and I have asked if she would have the boys overnight via email and text and no reponse.

This is the 1st time we have asked in 2 years, my eldest loves his Auntie and can't understand why we don't see her.

What really pisses me off is that they never come and stay, they live 3 hours away, as they are always booked up, but they I look on her wankers husbands facebook page and they have been twice this year to visit her godchildren who live 45 mins from us!

Fuck them I think, DH is upset but what do I say to my son who would love to see them?

Why is she such a doormat?

Can you not hire a babysitter?

Maybe she's hurt at you emailing and texting and not picking up the phone personally to ask her this favour?

Not that I have kids or anything, but I feel for you. I have this problem mainly with a friend of mine who I used to be really close too, but also my little sister. My 'friend' I am giving up on now, the minute she moves in with her bloke I'll never see her again I'm sure, and she is a sponge in every sense of the word. Her whole life her Daddy paid for her every whim, then once he went on his pension she started dating a london banker with lots of money who also pays for her every whim And my little sister is a right twod herself at the moment, so I've given up on her too! Good luck with your SIL!

I wouldn't want my child to stay over though with someone they hardly ever see and whose husband is clearly going to be frankly a bit weird with them! I wouldn't pursue it personally but yes it is a shame that she doesn't have that relationship with your children and they don't have that with her any more; however she has made her choice; things do change, and you can't go back to how things were. It is a shame though, I see where you are coming from.

I think you need to mourn the loss of a perfectly good SIL and fab auntie to your DC and move on - and find some local babysitters who you can trust!

My DM still remembers her favourite uncle getting married and being useless from there on in - apparently he used to come and play, make fabulous birthday presents for her, etc, etc - he got married and the next year she got a bible for her birthday.

It happens. for you, DH, and your DC - but hopefully SIL will come to her senses and you will get her back at some point.

I would say just move on, there's not much you can do. You can't make someone like you.