MIL: "We didn't invite you to your sil hen night because we knew you would come"...

[chloebe]

Things have becoming increasing frosty between me and mil since my dd1 was born 2 years ago.
My Sil is getting married and asked to borrow my camera for her trip to Cardiff, to which I replied, "how lovely, are you going on a mini break with future bil" To which my mil sniped "no its SIL hennight, but we didn't invite you because we knew you wouldn't come, it's next week so it's short notice now any how!". Granted I have just had my dd2, but I would have appreciate being asked.

Second issue is for the last 2 years we have been expected to go round every weekend.. we are greeted by a saturady morning text of "let me know what time you are bringing the girls to see us today so I can get sil"! Then there are big huffs if we don't go, which isn't very often... until now... dh and I have found that having two children and him having a very stressful job, means quality family time is imperitive especially as we have just hit terrible twos with dd1, they only see their dad for 5 mins a night so weekends are important.

It's very intense round at the inlaws so it is difficult to be able to even parent children let alone have any quality time. We are usually expected at 12pm, after dd1 nap, as fil goes to the pub at 2pm and we usually feel uncomfortable leaving before at least 3pm as we get greeted with "just 5 more mins... etc" from mil.

So I spoke to mil and said that because of dh ever increasing workload and also the importance of us having one to one time with the kids we were looking to only come round every fortnight for the short term and on the weeks where they are not seeing the kids at the weekend I would drop them round one afternoon, as fil is working flexitime as being semi retired... to cut a long and painful conversation short, she called me spiteful, unfair, that I was taking her son away from her - you get the jist...

Where do I go from here??

[KittyTN]

SIL sounds like a rather odd 29 year old. I love my niece and if I didnt have a family of my own, lived nearer etc I would like to see more of her. I honestly cant imagine ever wanting to be picked up to go to Mum & Dads to see my nieces every weekend. Does she have no life of her own? Who is this doormat she is marrying? He cant be thrilled with this weekly arrangement.

Chloebe, you sound very kind and accomodating. Hope you find a way to cope with MIL.