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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be cross about DS1's swimming lesson

36 replies

SpudtheScarecrow · 02/10/2009 13:17

DS1 has just started swimming lessons. He's 4 and only just made the age cut-off so he's the youngest in the class. He loves swimming and is quite confident in the water. This week was his 4th lesson

However, he hasn't really settled in the class as I have to watch from a viewing gallery rather than by the poolside - this means he can only see me watching from certain bits of the pool. Until this week he's just been grumbling about it a bit but this week he was really upset - trying to run after me, crying etc.

I managed to get him into the pool and retreated up to the gallery. I actually thought he did quite well considering he was so upset - he stayed in the water and did all the activities tho he was a bit teary and asked the teacher a couple of times how much longer the lesson had to go.

Anyway, when I went down to collect him the teacher came up to me and her first words were 'He's been a complete nightmare!!' I did point out that he was young for the class but she said they didn't use to take them until they were 5 and that was better.

I know her job is to teach swimming and has other children in the class but I'd have thought she might at least work with me a bit to settle him in? I could understand if he'd been like it all the time but this was the first week. Her attitude just seemed to be that I shouldn't bring him. It can't be the first time a child's been upset, can it?

So AIBU to be a bit at her calling my son a complete nightmare (he is my pfb which is why I'm asking) and the fact that she has no strategies to settle him in (I was a teacher before being a SAHM and we usually have a strategy for everything!) or should I give in gracefully and wait til he's older?

Thanks to anyone who's made it this far!

OP posts:

Original poster

SpudtheScarecrow · 02/10/2009 14:26

Toffee - I wondered about that but she didn't offer and I thought maybe that might be considered unfair on the other children or disruptive if they start asking for their mum/dad. That's the kind of thing I meant when I said she didn't have strategies - not that I expected her to give over the whole lesson to DS1

The other thing is the lesson isn't much fun - should it be? Or AIBU again?! If they didn't the odd game or something he might be more distracted and not notice I wasn't there.

We might try once more as DH is free to take him next week but think we'll probably admit defeat!

OP posts:

freename · 02/10/2009 14:32

YABU.
She is there to teach swimming only.
I have done yogabugs in the past and it is really unfair to everyone else who has paid for the lessons when you get one child who distracts you from the job at hand. Up to the parents to sort it out. If you sign up for something make sure your child is ready and willing to do it and follow any instructions that go with it.
Or pay for private one on one lessons where there is room to accommodate individual needs.

Ivykaty44 · 02/10/2009 14:36

YABU
But also i think the classes in pools are often far to big and at 4-5 should really be no more than 4 children in the class at most - so they children that are nightmares due to there not having smaller classes where the children would get far more attention and wouln't be a nightmare.

LilyBolero · 02/10/2009 14:36

Spud, I wouldn't give yourself any stress over it - taking dd out was the BEST decision - we stuck it out for a term, and by the end of the term we were BOTH miserable - dd wouldn't do ANYTHING if the teacher was watching, he was at a loss, and I was sitting there thinking 'what is wrong with her?'

Your ds really doesn't sound ready, and certainly dd really loved having the pressure taken off, and just going with me.

Have you tried taking both of them? My 3 LOVE going in the pool together, they have loads of fun! It can be a bit of a hassle getting all 3 of them changed, but you just need a routine - my secret weapon was the buggy - take enough towels so the older ones can be wrapped in towels, quickly change the youngest, strap in buggy, get next one changed, but not shoes, sit on bench in cubicle, get oldest one changed, but not shoes, sit beside middle one, quickly get self changed, then do shoes and out!

thedollshouse · 02/10/2009 14:40

YANBU. It is very unprofessional of her to call your son a nightmare!

Do you mind if I ask you where you have lessons as she sounds like ds's ex teacher.

I think the problem in a lot of classes is that they have too many children, in ds's lesson there were 10 young children which in my opinion is far too many.

Original poster

SpudtheScarecrow · 02/10/2009 14:57

Thanks very much Lily, I've been a bit under the weather this week and DH has been away with work so I think I've worried about this more than I should. I've not taken them both on my own as most places near us have a 1:1 parent:child ratio but there is a toddler session at really nice pool where I could take them both so will give it a go.

dollshouse - we're in the North West but only just...

OP posts:

freename · 02/10/2009 14:59

Mine didn't have lessons. We taught them messing about on family swims. They go with the school and are no different or less able than those who did have lessons.
If my child had done that and I was spoken to like that I wouldn't take it personally especially if I had been watching and seen he was struggling. That's how it felt for her, it's hardly a character assassination of the child. Just that he was a nightmare in that particular session. Not he is a nightmare child full stop.

LilyBolero · 02/10/2009 15:00

Have a look round different pools - lots have different ratios. Our local council is 2:1, but by popping over the border into the next county we can get a 3:1 ratio, and ds1 is 8 now so doesn't come into the equation, but before he was 8, we used to go to the 3:1 pool.

Dazmum · 02/10/2009 15:05

This is just what happened with us, our DS loved the water, but screamed the place down when we first took him for a lesson at about 4 1/2, so we waited and I took him for a short lesson every day during half term when he was about 6. He was also with a new friend from school which helped. He loved it and is now in the local swimming club. He swims a lot better than I do as I belong to the don't get your face wet swimming club and look like a turtle!

The only problem I have with his lessons now ( he's 11) is that the teacher never gives them any praise at all, she just moans at how bad they are, which I think is a bit sad.

jazzandh · 02/10/2009 15:16

when he's ready try the 1-2-1 lessons. After a year of pre-school swimming sessions, my ds learned more in 3 individual sessions in the summer holidays than in the whole year put together!

Then you can take him and practise......

Ivykaty44 · 02/10/2009 20:28

Some pools have special times when the ratio goes up - as they have extra life gaurds on duty.

My local pool has a 1:1 but three slots a week for 2:1

If you get a good teacher and a very very low ratio - your ds will be swimming after two sessions - take him out and start again later or when you find a teacher that suits you.

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