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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take an hour off?

30 replies

FleeBee · 02/10/2009 12:55

AIBU to doss for an hour during the day. I have 2 DC aged 21 months and nearly 5 months. They both usually have a nap in the afternoon and I've recently got them to co-incide so I get a peaceful hour. In which I lie sit on the sofa, watch some rubbish telly, mess on the internet or chat to mum (or friend) on the phone.

DH reckons that hour should be put to use of houswork and he's calling me lazy. (Which is true, but it's not something I like to hear!!) I know that there is ironing, hoovering, dusting blah blah to be done, but I can't face it and my hour off means I can recharge and face the afternoon with my DC.

Should I pull my lazy finger out and get motivated??? (I know he has a lunch hour at work grrrr!!)

OP posts:
theDeadPirateRoberts · 02/10/2009 12:57

YADNBU! Unless he's happy for you to have your break as soon as he walks in the door? No? Quel surprise!

rubyslippers · 02/10/2009 12:57

threads like this are so depressing

YANBU

you are working bloody hard - why on earth do you have to justify to your DH of all people that you need to re-charge your batteries

SixtyFootDoll · 02/10/2009 12:58

and what does he do in his lunch hour at work?
Tell him to sod off.

kitbit · 02/10/2009 13:00

If he asks if you had a break say no. But have one. Problem solved, and he's an arse

LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2009 13:01

I reckon you should stop justifying your day to dh.

In fact next time he asks smile serenely and tell him you wanked off all day as your skin was looking a bit peaky and you'd heard orgasms were good for the skin.

That'll shut him up.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 02/10/2009 13:02

I have just put ds to bed. I am lying on the sofa with 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' on the TV with my laptop.

I intend to assume this position for 1 hour.
I would recommend you do the same.

dilemma456 · 02/10/2009 13:03

Message withdrawn

belgo · 02/10/2009 13:04

YANBU. You need to have some time to yourself otherwise you'll go crazy. You shouldn't be a martyr to your family at the expensive of your own happiness.

Agree with Laurie, don't tell him what you do all day if he is going to judge you. He isn't your boss. Do you ask him to account for every moment of his time?

belgo · 02/10/2009 13:05

As a SAHM for a few years, I always tried to make sure I got rest and time off during the day because evenings are just so hectic and I'm very often up during the night with one, two or three children.

theDeadPirateRoberts · 02/10/2009 13:06

Does he do his share of the housework? Being that it's both of your house, and you're doing most if not all of the childcare?

theDeadPirateRoberts · 02/10/2009 13:08

I like dilemma's idea

Oh, and can you arrange for a colleague to tip juice or youghurt onto his desk every two hours? [helpful]

vickiadele · 02/10/2009 13:08

Im sure he gets a break at work, YANBU!

MovingOutOfBlighty · 02/10/2009 13:08

Personally, I tend to whizz around for 15 mins doing something constructive, then mooch for an hour. Then I feel guilt free.

How about just squirting a load of Cillit Band around the bathroom so he can smell it and then he will think you are being Oh So Busy.

Sometimes I get a bit like your DH though when my Dh confesses that his job finished a little early and he went to the gym/haircut etc. All I can think is, 'and you could have been here to help at witching hour!!'. But then I bite my tongue and stop being so controlling

Elk · 02/10/2009 13:10

Of course you should have a rest while your children are resting. Put your feet up have a cuppa and eat some chocolate while they can't see you.

I have been dossing since I dropped mine off at school this am.

ToddlersRFab · 02/10/2009 13:14

Tell him to go and boil his head.... I bet he would be shattered doing just one day of your routine.

Enjoy your hour whilst you can - it won't last for ever.

x

opinionatedmother · 02/10/2009 13:16

YANBU

your DH is being V unreasonable. he is not your boss.

(YABU if you meant taking a hour off MNing )

I enjoy a very reasonable 2 hour naptime most days ...sometimes i sits and thinks..sometimes...i just sits.

if husband criticised me for this, he'd find himself residentially challenged.

Trikken · 02/10/2009 13:29

Yanbu, childcare is physically and mentally hardwork. enjoy your peace and quiet! (big cup of coffee and cake also helps.)

YeahBut · 02/10/2009 13:32

You see, my DH is far too fond of his bollocks to even think something like this around me.
YANBU.

mazzystartled · 02/10/2009 13:33

YANBU

Why does your dh think he has the right to tell you how to spend your day....or is he trying to wind you up?

It's called MATERNITY leave not HOUSEKEEPING leave.

herbgarden · 02/10/2009 13:36

YANBU...I agree with the don't tell him what you do approach - you don't need to justify yourself to him and if he does specifically ask, tell him to sod off.

I've got 2 DC's - the older one doesn't sleep anymore but when he did I'd sit in front of the telly or surf the net for his 2 hour nap after I'd cleared up the lunch debris. Now DD sleeps, DS sits in front of the telly and I put my feet up !....DH would get a seriously short sharp shrift it he questioned what I did during my "lunch break"....

MiniMarmite · 02/10/2009 13:40

YANBU

I lie on the sofa for 2 hours if I can get away with it and I only have one one year old!

Same as a lunch hour (or two) in my book. All the childcare books say you should rest so you can always show him the relevent page!

flimflammum · 02/10/2009 13:41

Of course YANBU.

LOL at 'residentially challenged', opinionatedmother

RealityIsAnAuntie · 02/10/2009 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Firawla · 02/10/2009 15:55

yanbu, he is bvu!!!!!
he also needs to remember that as well as lunch break, dh get weekends from work, annual leave etc, when do mum & wife ever normally get those breaks from the job of looking after kids and house? we never get a day off, 1 hr is definitely more than justified, and is not lazy

Undercovamutha · 02/10/2009 16:03

YANBU. Do you clock off at 5pm? No, I didn't think so!
However, on the other side of the coin, I can be a bit like MovingOutOfBlighty said with my DH, who has just phoned to say he will be late home tonight cos he is popping into a few DIY shops on the way. A voice inside of me is shouting: 'I dream of POPPING into shops - even DIY ones - .... get home now and look after the kids!' Sometimes that voice escapes from my head, and out of my mouth!!!!