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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

staffordshire bull terriers

39 replies

thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:13

First off, i would like to say in NO WAY do i mean used as a weapon.

My son is bullied constantly, kids from school and some live in our area, would i be AIBU to get him a dog of his own?? just mainly for a family dog and also for kids to be abit weary of hurling abuse at him, people are very welcome to tell me if AIBU.

in the back off my mind i am VERY AIBU, but he can be a constantly with him,my son is, not weedy but not well built either and small for his age and seems to be a target for these kids.

and just for him to feel abit more safe as he hates been alone.

OP posts:
claricebeansmum · 30/09/2009 12:20

Staffies are lovely but a handful. Whilst they are more likely to lick you to death than bite you they are very very strong.

But having a dog is a HUGE undertaking - financial, caring, walking, -repairing your home-- etc I am not sure that a dog as a protector is a good enough reason.

Dogs have to be trained. Are you going to train the dog to be protective? In which case it will be protective against everyone.

BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP · 30/09/2009 12:21

As you know yourself, YABU, not a good reason to get a dog, and defo not a reason to get a dog because of their stereotyped behaviour (which is more to do with the owner).

You could try martial arts/self defence lessons for your DS, give him a bit of confidence and learn how to deal with any unwanted attention.

BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP · 30/09/2009 12:22

Just out of interest, how old is he? and why is he alone?

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/09/2009 12:27

YABU. Not being funny, but in light of some of your comments on the 'dogs jumping up' thread last week, you seem to think it is reasonable for dogs to jump up/lick/generally invade other people's space. Some people are genuinely wary of dogs and I don't think you appreciate that.

Also, those dogs are strong and unless your son is a strapping lad I don't think it would be fair to expect him to keep it under control.

YANBU to be upset that your son is being bullied, however you need to think of other ways to rememdy that, rather than to get him a dog with which to intimidate other children. Have you spoke to the school?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 30/09/2009 12:28

Im with BLEEP here. Staffies are a great breed of dog but please dont purchase one just to use as a deterrant against bullies, you may just find the one you buy about as useful as a mouse. I know mine would be!

valhala · 30/09/2009 12:32

Ditto Clarice. My immediate response was "Thats like having a baby to save a marriage!". I may be flamed for the comparison but yours is certainly no reason to have a dog... ANY dog.

Owning a dog has to be thoroughly thought out - what do you do whe you go on hols, to work, away for weekends, who will walk him on cold, stormy winter nights, who will train him, where and how, can you afford to neuter and insure him, how can you GUARANTEE that by putting your dog in front of a group of taunting and possibly aggressive little so and so's, he won't bite some little oik out of a desire to protect your son or himself and very quickly end up dead under the terms of the Dangerous Dogs Act?

In Ireland, their only (IMHO) half sensible animal law is one where certain dogs cannot be in public with anyone under 16 years old. I would, given my chance, bring that law over here and extend it to ALL breeds. A dog is very unlikely to be sade in the circumstances described and as a result, neither is your lad.

skihorse · 30/09/2009 12:32

YABU.

I have a pitbull and it falls in to the aforementioned "cry baby" category. Which is GREAT! But I didn't get this dog to intimidate others and unfortunately the type of person who does, and unfortunately this now includes you!, is what gives these breeds of dog an undeserved bad name.

As other people have said dogs require a lot of work.

If you wish your son to give off a particular image enroll him in judo classes.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:34

i have two dogs already but they are my dogs, thought he could have some responabilty, and he might feel abit more confident if he had like a comfort blanket instead in the shape of a dog, no clarice i'm not going to train him to protect, i dont want the dog used as a weapon at all, just as company, and for something for him to focus on outside of school and when he's not at clubs.

i am AIBU thought so. thankyou.

OP posts:
valhala · 30/09/2009 12:35

Sorry, I meant SAFE, not sade!

Like a fool I didn't read the OPs name before I posted....

Sunshine! Surely not... this has to be a wind-up, right???

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:36

Are you joking getof??? i have spoken to school till i am blue in the face.

OP posts:
mablemurple · 30/09/2009 12:36

Agree with the other posters but I don't understand your reasoning. How would a dog stop your son being bullied at school? You need to sort the bullying out properly rather than relying on a dog to do it for you .

bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 12:39

I think you would be better off getting your ds karate or judo lessons.

The martial arts do wonders for the self esteem. He will be quietly confident that he can take care of himself if the bullying notches up a level. He will make new friends at the classes.

Do not buy a dog unless you are fully committed to the dog and its needs.

Simplistica · 30/09/2009 12:41

I can see your reasoning, there is something less apprachable about a child with a dog I think, and the oloy time my Mum'sever growled was when someone approached my sisters in a aprk.

Having said that I don't think it's a good reason to get a dog, dogs are ahrd work at best and if the bullying stops next week the dog is yours for years.

Talking to school is important but as you have found not always effective- have you asked for their bullying policy then contacted the Governors? After that you have recourse to the LEA.

I found these people helpful

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:41

valhala, no i'm afraid not, it's me and i wrote this thread, i have no intention of getting one, it was just a stupid thought out of fustration, i didnt mean for the dog to bite anyone or to hurt anyone or to be used as a weapon just purely as company.

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 30/09/2009 12:44

YANBU to want to buy your son a dog as a pet,
"just as company, and for something for him to focus on outside of school and when he's not at clubs."
But to consider a staffie because you think it would add some sort of "cred" is a very bad idea.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:44

and just for kids, to think twice before punching my son in the face and kicking him while he is on the ground.

i'm sorry for posting this thread

OP posts:
Simplistica · 30/09/2009 12:45

Don't be silly, a lot of us know how it feels ( a year and a bit ago ds1 was set upon by 12 children so badly he had shoe shaped bruises)

What has the school suggested?

2shoes · 30/09/2009 12:47

staffies are lovely but would be hard for him to handle
a golden reteiver would protect him

AmazingBouncingFerret · 30/09/2009 12:48

sunshine dont be sorry. I cant imagine what it must be like for you and your son, my DS has not even started nursery yet.
I imagine you must be quite rightly desperate for it to stop and are inevitably thinking up some equally desperate solutions. Theres nothing wrong with that.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:49

simplistica nothing they blame my son and make him out to be a lier, and of course i am not allowed to say anything to these kids, and it is frustrating that they are laughing and whispering about my son when i am with him yet, society says i'm not allowed to do anything about this.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 30/09/2009 12:49

Have you said anywhere how old your son is? Strength etc.
I often see children being pulled along by dogs they just physically can't control.

I can understand you want to stop the bullying though and a dog could be a lovely companion for your son.

Nancy66 · 30/09/2009 12:50

Skihorse - I thought it was illegal to own a pitbull?

Simplistica · 30/09/2009 12:51

Wow, chool seems very crap!

I would try and speak to that link I gave (kidscape)- they are most helpful and very experienced at forcing schools to take action.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 30/09/2009 12:51

Simplistica that is awful!
All these bullying threads atm are making me very reluctant to want to send my baby to school.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 30/09/2009 12:52

Thankyou Amazing i feel so guilty about this thread, i have been brought down to a level i never, ever wanted to be brought too.

OP posts: