to not buy donuts for all staff?

[WidowWadman]

Yesterday I returned to work after maternity leave. I don't earn much and childcare costs mean I'm actually worse off than on SMP. With my wedding coming up at the end off the month my budget is really tight.
Apparently two people, not even in my department have commented to my supervisor that they'd had expected me to bring in donuts/buns to celebrate my return. He promised them to 'expedite me for this'. I've explained to him that I really can't do this at the moment, but he still kept making 'joking' references to this outstanding 'order'.

AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed or should I give in to peer pressure and spend money I don't really have on buns I don't want to eat (try to look after my diet) for people I work with?

Well, I'd get those cheap ones from Asda which are about a quid for 5. Wouldn't buy the KrispyKreme ones which are about £1.30 each though.

Is it an office tradition?

I'd offer them a quick poke in the eye.

I would be really annoyed with that. If you buy goodies for your colleagues you do it because you want to and can afford to.

If he keeps on about it why not suggest that the office have a "cake-kitty" for such events. Alternatively let him know you will be willing to actually fetch the things if he's planning on paying from his own pocket.

ridiculous
they should be buying them for you

I'm the first one to return from maternity leave, so I wouldn't know. New starters or returners from other jobs don't do it. I provided plenty on the day I left. And people usually do iton birthdays, however those who don't normally don't get hassled.

It really depends if its something everyone else does or not...

My DH's work has a tradition where you take in something on your birthday whether its chocoaltes, or Celebrations type things, or cakes. My work used to do something like that when you came back from holidays..

So it really depends - if you have benefitted in the past from others doing this and will benefit in the future because thats what is done in your office, then you kind of need to suck it up...however if this is some rule that they have just "invented" then you can ignore, or buy some cheapy Roses or Quality St

Presumably if that was the office policy you would have noticed by now. Not done where I work, that's for sure. Tell him to get stuffed he will have a long wait.

(If women bring in cakes when they return to work after mat leave, when do blokes bring in cakes? Grrr.)

Sorry, "to get stuffed" was meant to have a line through!

Tell him to sort you out a payrise so you can afford it

Seriously though, am a bit cross at this rudeness and pressure on you.

Bring in a used nappy cake.

That'll learn 'em!

Is this a small office? What nonsense.

They should be pleased enough to have you back, not grumbling about some lardy cakes.

Makes them sound like my toddler whinging when I haven't got her a "treat"

YANBU

At my work people constantly bring in stuff when they return from holiday, leave, birthdays, Eid, special offer at M&S, etc. So people complain tehre's too much temptation about.
You can't win.

Working in an office can get really expensive and colleagues should be more considerate- you've just had a new baby and are planning a wedding. They should lay off!

One office I worked in had 44 people in it and we were expected to cough up a couple of quid for birthdays, babies, weddings and leaving dos, as well as bring in 44 cakes when it was our birthday. Salaries weren't all fantastic and I personally wouldn't have minded if people were unable to contribute, but peer pressure made everyone dig deep.

Did you laugh in his face when he said he'd expedite you? That's pure David Brent.

YANBU. Tradition at my office is that you treat everyone on the floor (maybe 120 people) to something on your birthday - usually chi-chi cupcakes at about five dollars a pop.

I kept completely silent about my birthday this year. I'd just started that week and certainly wasn't going to go dropping several hundred bucks on cupcakes.

ninedragons - that is unbelievable.

Where do you work? My colleagues are happy with a pack of custard creams!

That is ridiculous. We do bring things in here but we're only an office of about 10 people, we all love each other and it's just randomly, not for special occasions. I've just brought in a pile of biscuits today because we're all having a shitty time but it was off my own bat.

ninedragons Seriously? That's borderline catering!

I work for a bank.

I probably should do it next year, because by then I will have snacked my way through everybody else's birthday cupcakes, Krispy Kreams and Cornettos.

Or maybe I'll buy 120 cholesterol testing kits instead.

Weird! YANBU at all. In my office people often bring weird sweets or cakes back from holiday, or might bring in a little something for people to fight over on their birthday, but generally speaking they're usually delighted just to be offered a crisp!

Tell them you'll bring something in after the wedding, to celebrate that instead. And then just bring a packet of own-brand digestives or something! People in my office would bite your hand off to get one of those.

I can't believe someone has got their knickers in a twist over a bun and made a comment to your Supervisor. I too would feel annoyed. Just ignore them, they need to grow up.

I'd not want to on principal now! What about all the birthdays you didn't get to indulge in while on leave? Birthdays are one thing but you shouldn't have to do it for every bloody event!

principle