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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DS's school.

32 replies

Marioandluigi · 29/09/2009 12:09

The school have just introduced a policy where they wont grant permission for children to be out of school in term time unless its for an emergency, so basically not for holidays. This is fine by me.

DS who is 8 needs to have some teeth taken out.He will be going into hospital in a couple of weeks and he will need to have the say of the operation off and I have been told that maybe the next day, so I wrote a letter to his teacher telling her that he would not be attending on those days.

Last night he brings home a letter from the Office Manager telling me that I need to provide proof of where he will be.

AIBU to feel a little miffed by this. Im not raging about it, but I dont like the assumption that I am going off on a jolly. DS hasnt got a bad attendance record, and anyway - who goes on holiday for two days in the middle of the week?

OP posts:
HateTheHoover · 29/09/2009 12:12

YANBU at all. I would feel very annoyed at the presumption that all parents are liars. FGS its only 2 days. Grrrrrrrr!

scaryteacher · 29/09/2009 12:12

Just write back and say hospital, and enclose copy of the appointment letter. They then don't have a leg to stand on.

YANBU to be miffed if you don't take your dcs out for holidays, but many do, and lie about it.

TheCrackFox · 29/09/2009 12:16

What could they actually do if you ignore their letter?

2kidzandi · 29/09/2009 12:18

YANBU It's over the top. Presumably this new policy is about the school wanting to reach some attendance targets. Also about alienating parents at the same time unfortunately.

Iklboo · 29/09/2009 12:18

Next time they send a letter home saying school will be closed on X day for staff training demand to see a copy of the agenda, invoices for bookings etc and see how they like it.....

carocaro · 29/09/2009 12:22

just a case of a few others spoiling it for the majority, take in the details they need, it will help him get lots of tea and sympathy!

cat64 · 29/09/2009 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 29/09/2009 12:27

Why on earth would you mind showing the hospital letter? the school need it for their records and to prove to the LEA that they are doing everything they can to maintain good attendance figures. They aren't doubting you - the LEA will doubt the school unless they've got proof.

Also, they can't look at your name and say "oh yes, we know Mario - that time off's OK" but ask AN Other parent they are less sure of to provide proof.

clumsymum · 29/09/2009 12:29

Cat, we have NEVER had to show proof of appointments for any of the procedures that DS has had, and we have taken him out for holidays too (so shoot me, at least when he's on hols with us he gets a rest from the bullies).

No, it's your school being over-officious, I think.

Original poster
Marioandluigi · 29/09/2009 12:31

I have never had to show proof before.

I dont mind showing the letter, infact I have just made a copy to take in this afternon, its just the assumption that im lying that I dont like.

OP posts:
LadyMuck · 29/09/2009 12:31

Never had to show proof of appointment. Presumably they can take before and after photos of his mouth is they have to have proof!

TheMightyToosh · 29/09/2009 12:35

Agree with seeker - if it is an LEA-wide policy, it is most likely just the school covering their backs by having proof on record if ever they were asked to substantiate it.

I wouldn't take it personally. Just be glad that your school cares where your children are.

It is easy to fake a note from home (not suggesting that your poor DS would do that, but some might!)

TheCrackFox · 29/09/2009 12:36

TBH when he goes back to school with a couple of teeth missing it would make pretty convincing evidence.

BoffinMum · 29/09/2009 12:41

lol iklboo!!!

mamas12 · 29/09/2009 17:02

Video the op??
Nice show and tell for him

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/09/2009 17:04

YABU, they have to do this to check that you are not going off on a 2 day jolly. Just send in a copy of the appointment and don't stew about it.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/09/2009 17:08

No one is saying you are lying.

PeedOffWithNits · 29/09/2009 17:44

because they have got strict on holidays (probably because OFSTED slagged off their attendance records) they will have LOADS of people putting in false illness/medical appt letters. I taught a kid whose mother thought it was OK for her to have 2 days off for christmas shopping trip to London - and would say she had been ill when the head tried to stop this!

no big deal to show the hospital letter, surely?

curiositykilled · 29/09/2009 18:09

YABVU - Just bring in the letter. This is standard practice in schools and workplaces that have this kind of policy. They're not accusing you of anything, they probably just need to photocopy the letter in order to authorise the absence and would have asked any other parent to do the same.

There are much bigger things in life to get wound up about.

clam · 29/09/2009 18:18

The inconsistency irritates me, though. The legislation is the same for all of us, yet I know of a family who bugger off on holiday for the first 2 weeks of the Autumn term every year, and the Head doesn't say a thing. One year they even got a letter wishing them a good time!

seeker · 29/09/2009 22:00

I'm always amazed at how much people know about the personal circumstances of other parents at their school!

katiestar · 30/09/2009 11:28

YANBU It is extremely disrespectful and patronising
I have never had to show an employer proof of an appointment and I'm damned sure I wouldn't show a school !
Ignore the letter and do as Ikiboo suggests next time they have a training day.

IdrisTheDragon · 30/09/2009 11:31

Seeing as that is what you are doing, what harm is it doing to you to show the appointment letter?

seeker · 30/09/2009 11:43

Why on earth is it disrespectful and patronizing? The school can't pick and choose which parents it asks for proof. And anyway the school needs to justify it's absences to the LEA. Why are people so defensive!

katiestar · 30/09/2009 12:19

Because it is being distrustful of the parents claims to be taking their child to an appointment by asking for proof.Why would they need proof if they respected parent's honesty.
My children's schools don't ask for proof and there would be an outcry if they did ?

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