To be annoyed by mums who pass on second hand compliments about their DC as if that exonorates them from being considered boastful?

[Hoppity]

I am surrounded by mothers who relate back to me all the compliments their DC receive. AIBU to consider this stealth bragging? Like ''my PIL were saying how very bright they think Dc1 is''. Or ''the HV said dc1 is perfect''. Or even ''Everyone thought DC1's birthdsy was brilliant'' Etc. It is not subtle and very annoying. How to retaliate? Counter bragging does not work (I have tried it and it just gives original bragger the conviction that bragging is permitted).

I prefer it to listening to people competitively talk about how bad their children are, which seems to be more common in certain groups.

Agree with many others, as long as it isn't done as a way of scoring points against somebody else, there is nothing wrong with being proud and talking about your children.

agree with morloth
i'm a bragger
my dd is effin AMAZING! she's the best thing since sliced bread and i'm not afraid to say so, of course i would never say she's better than other ppls kids (although she actually is!)
i think its ok to brag about our kids just not all of the time, it gets boring, i pick my moments

ooooh, but i love bragging to my mum, she's so disappointed that my dd isn't really difficult like i was, all my life she's been saying 'wait till u have kids' and 'i hope u get one just like u' lmao cos my daughter came out an never cried an never made a fuss
and just had her first ever tantrum aged nearly 4, and according to my friends it wasn't even a real tantrum!

so sorry i just realised that turned to a bit of bragging maybe?

A friend of mine is always telling me how incredibly bright her other friends' children are. Not sure how she would know this unless the other mothers have said so about their own offspring though. Interestingly, I happen to know the teacher of one of these mini-Einsteins. She tells a very different story.

This drives me nuts. If someone brags about their dcs I end up doing the opposite - playing down whatever ds can do or not mentioning it. A friend was boasting about her dc's achievement recently and making a rather big deal about it. I didn't say that ds had done it a year ago as it would have detracted from her pride, she wouldn't have listened anyway and I can't stand competitive parenting.

if its not done in a "my kids are better than yours " way, then its fine, I am very proud of my 3 dc, not just for their achievements but mainly because of the way they are, caring, kind, honest, etc. It fills me with more pride that my dc are fab people more than any achievement. if that makes me sound like I'm bragging, then i am a bragger and proud of it.

It annoys me a bit as well. I don't mind the occasional brag and I'm usually pleased to hear about proud moments, but one or two mums I know will introduce a brag at every possible opportunity (either by stealth or outright) even when I'm doing everything in my power to change the subject!

Golden rule for me always was, avoid these people at all costs, or failing that, never, EVER ask them 'how is your little one getting on at school/swimming/ballet/gymnastics?" unless you know it's someone who possesses a little more modesty and humility.

Like MollieO says, it makes me go to the other extreme sometimes.

Quite right tootyslooty. Those that find "bragging" offensive are being abit small minded imo. Be happy for the bragger its lovely that people are so proud of their children, doesnt mean they are trying to put down your offspring (not a bragger myself btw except within the 4 walls of our house where DH and I can really let rip about the wonderfulness of our dds ) .

agree with tombliboobs. competitive badness is very annoying

Pride in your children is wonderful. Bragging isn't. But worse than these third party brags is the detailed PUBLIC documentation of domestic life.

BecauseI really don't want to see every single solitary "amusing or "amazing"" put up on YouTube and then linked to Facebook - "OMG!! Tabitha & Zeus hang their school bags up!".

If you rang these people up and suggested you'd like to feature their children on your own website, the peelers would be round quicker than some people can spell Peterborough, er, paedophile.

but one persons proud re-telling of a childs achievement is someone elses bragging.

I don't care as long as people are even handed.

I am happy to say " good grief my DS is diving me crazy as he is always forgetting things and is so disorganized . But I am really proud of how hard he worked for his exams and pleased for him that he did really well"

We should be proud of our childrens achievements as long as we are open about their weaknesses.

I can't abide people just listingthe many ways in which their child is always the best at things. That is really tedious.

But the 'look at my doopy child' competition annoys me too. It doesn't make people look as ifthey are being low key. It looks like they don't care.Or worse thatthey are more concerned about looking cool and laid back than how their child feels being discussed as useless.

You're a bit doopy yourself today, pagwatch

I quite like to hear other peoples ''proud mummy moments'. Though i've realised one of my neighbours is a bragger by stealth....

Overall i only brag about my DD to my trusty close friends and grandparents , who I know have her best interests at heart.

When I was a child my mother used to put me down to other people , and though we are on good terms now , I have to careful not to repeat behaviour with my darling DD.

yet another thing to get paranoid about after M&T - was i too boastful when talking about my DC's ? or too down on them? which end of the parenting spectrum will i be judged for??

I am revoltingly proud of my kids, but they also annoy the crap out of me at times. Balanced enough?

ha har..slayed that thread!