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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be utterly jealous of my gorgeous daughter's photos on FB?

3 replies

Malificence · 25/09/2009 21:19

She's just started Uni and her page is chock full of pictures of her having a great time, surrounded by smitten young men mostly.
I was married and living on an Air force base in Germany at her age, it was only 1985 but it seems like a whole lifetime ago.

I had none of her confidence or social ability,( still don't in reality) so we've obviously done a good job in preparing her for adult life - my husband's the outgoing one, so it's largely down to him in truth.

I've had to sit on my hands to stop myself ringing her every day but in fairness she's called me or her dad most days.

I'm trying to look at it as embarking on a new life, just me and him but I'm feeling very lost, not to mention bored - I can't believe I actually miss the thumping music or the constant stream of friends in the house, I thought I would welcome a bit of peace and quiet but it's far too quiet!
I didn't think it would be this hard to adjust, she's been working in restaurant for a year to get some money and she has her own car so wasn't reliant on me for much, other than washing and ironing her copious wardrobe.
I miss her and my husband admitted he felt a bit "empty" when we drove away from her room at the weekend.
I understand what "empty nest" means now.

OP posts:
PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 25/09/2009 21:27

Sorry but my only advice is that I think you might get much more helpful responses if you re-post under chat or parenting with a non facebook title!

I am still (just) of an age that I am more of the daughter role than the parent role in this so I am a bit short on advice I'm afraid. I guess just appreciate the fact that she is having a great time and it is all your doing (and it sounds like you are very proud). Time to start thinking about what you want to do for yourself. Holidays? New job? Naked Fridays? ;)

I must admit I'm not looking forward to dd leaving home. I joyfully announced to my mum that I wouldn't be back as my dad drove me off to uni for the first time. Must have made her feel great

ineedalifelaundry · 25/09/2009 21:48

Poor you. It sounds like a double edged sword- it's partly empty nest and partly envy - she is living the life you didn't and your life maybe feels dull in comparison. Did you ever go to university? Have you considered studying now? It could be a great way to refocus on yourself and your own ambitions..

Giltz · 25/09/2009 22:07

It must be sad but you should be proud that you have raised such an independant young woman, When I went to Uni I knew some girls and guys who only called their parents when they needed money.She is obviously missing you both too.

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