To feel that this is not a very nice thing to do?

[Thequeensfool]

I have a friend who lives locally, and she has a dd who is about to turn 3. I have a four yr old dd and 3 yr old ds. We usually see each other on the same day every week and our dc play together.

Her dd plays with both of my dc equally well (although this month it has just been ds and I for visits as my dd has started school).

Anyway, today she tells me that she will be having a birthday party for her dd, and she can't decided between home/local venue. She casually dropped into conversation that if she holds it at home only my ds would be invited.

AIBU to feel that this is a) rude and b) mean?

I know my dd would be devestated to learn that ds would be going to x's party and not her.

If I was in your shoes, neither child would go.

YANBU. I deliberately book a venue which is larger than we need so that I dont have to exclude younger/older siblings from my kids parties. Nothing worse especially if you are a single parent who cant find childcare for the other sib.
All I ask is to know how many, what sex and rough age so I can plan appropriate party bags and make sure there is enough cake.........

It's not someting I would have done myself, both siblings would be invited.

However, YABU, your dd hasn't played with this child for the past month, and there is no obligation to ask both your dc, numbers have to be limited somehow.

If you feel your dd will find the disappointment too difficult (how old is she?), you have the option (difficult, I know) of not sending either.