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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think if you see another dog on a lead you should put yours on the lead too?

62 replies

girlsyearapart · 24/09/2009 08:01

Always thought it was unwritten rule of dog walking that if you see another dog on the lead you should put yours on too?
Other dog could be on lead as is aggressive/on heat/scared of other dogs whatever.
Anyway my dog isn't any of the above but can be a bit of a pita and hang around other dogs for ages so when I'm out running with him and I see other dogs I put him on lead so I can keep running.
Seems like other people don't apply same rules though and I have their dogs coming up and tripping me over trying to get to my dog.
Getting irritated as if my dog was aggressive and snapped at other dog when he was on the lead I feel like it wouldn't really be my fault.
DH says I am BU. Am I?

OP posts:
pjmama · 24/09/2009 10:30

bethoo - that just makes you a considerate owner, you know your dog is a bit giddy so you put it on the lead around others, which is great.

I don't put mine on the lead because she's a lovely sweet natured old girl who might wander over for a friendly bum-sniff, but will back straight off and give a wide berth if the other dog isn't up for it. Doesn't make me inconsiderate, or bad mannered because I haven't automatically put her on the lead because someone else has. I just know my dog.

iggypiggy had it spot on - depends on the owner, depends on the dog. I don't think there is an "unwritten rule" that we should all be abiding by.

SuziDee · 24/09/2009 10:33

This is a tough one, I agree that dogs should be the priority when walking them I go at a leisurely pace he is off lead plays with other dogs etc. I live in a small village with lots of open space and most dogs are off lead and owners know each other.

I actually get more irritated with people who are walking their dogs on lead and then stop and freeze pulling their dogs away but just standing still. This makes theirs and my dog nervous I think usually dogs can socialise and sort their business out without us interfering growling and snapping can be normal behaviour (not at humans obv) as dogs sort themselves out and I never get annoyed by other dogs doing it it just means go away.

YANBU if you are on roads and places where it is unsafe to walk a dog off lead YABU if you are in a large open space.

AstronomyDomine · 24/09/2009 10:34

Ceres I have a Staffie too but have no problem leaving her off the lead simply because she's not interested in other dogs/people/children etc. Honestly - she only runs in circles around us and only runs away when she's bringing a stick back!

If another dog approaches her for a "sniff" she stands and lets them, totally unfazed.

There's definite looks as we pass people and I'm certain it's because of her breed rather than just being a dog off her lead IYKWIM.

hatwoman · 24/09/2009 10:41

"'he's trying to kill your dog - he hates other dogs'" makes a change from "he's only playing" I suppose.

iggypiggy · 24/09/2009 10:46

hatwoman I thought it was an odd thing to say - especially as I was expecting 'it's ok he doesn't mean it' or some similar!

My dog is a lab - he sounds like he behaves in a similar way to yours

pjmama agree - don't think there is an unwritten rule - is just common sense/ knowing your dog and general good manners. All of which people have varying degrees of

bethoo · 24/09/2009 10:48

iggypiggy i think it depends on the dog, i used to run with my two boxers and they loved it. we used to run on an airfield so while i was running they would explore and dive in the lake as it was a good 3 mile circuit. then when we used to run on the roads they were on a lead. now hte one remaining is old he just happily plods besides me until he sees another dog then it is ears up, chest out trying to look mean and suddenly he is a youthful pup again!

iggypiggy · 24/09/2009 10:49

bethoo sounds like your dogs were off lead tho? It's when I see people running with their dog attached to a lead - makes me feel a bit sad for the dogs...

ReneRusso · 24/09/2009 10:51

My dog loves going running (not with me I might add, but with DH). She is a working cocker spaniel so needs a lot of exercise. She gets plenty of relaxing strolls as well.

bethoo · 24/09/2009 10:52

off lead in an airfield but then running on lead when we were in public places as the pair were quite unruly bless them and were quite the rogues in their younger days bless them. believe me you would feel sorry for me runing on lead as i tended to run half flying the speed they would drag me at! i am alot faster runner with a dog on a lead and the amount of times i fell over them as they did an abrupt stop to sniff something interesting! the good days when i was fit!!

bethoo · 24/09/2009 10:54

though my cavalier puppy is a different story as hope to take him running once i have my baby as he is food orintated and to be honest a bit podgy already so we can shed the pounds together!

hatwoman · 24/09/2009 11:08

I run with mine - and he loves it. Has to be on the lead on the road but off the lead once we reach the footpath/field. I can tell he enjoys it because he totally ignores other dogs when we're running. suprisingly he slows me down though.

ingles2 · 24/09/2009 11:08

YANBU.... Living in the country I walk my dog off the lead unless a see a dog approaching on a lead in which case I immediately put her on. As you say there maybe a reason for the dog being on a lead and it's a pain in the backside having an untethered dog chasing round your ankles.
I was really pissed off a couple of weeks ago when my CS was on heat. I was walking her on the beach, on the lead when this great big alsatian came over and shoved his nose up her backside.
No problem at all for the 1st 5 minutes but my CS started to get annoyed.
Told the owner to call the dog off, course dog takes absolutely no notice. owner does nothing.
Another 5 minutes pass with my dog getting more upset by which point we're standing stock still with alsatian running round going completely nuts. Eventually my dog snaps at alsation and owner shouts at us
What a bloody cheek, out of control dog, crap owner = pain in the arse.

hatwoman · 24/09/2009 11:11

sorry ingles but am chuckling a bit at the alsation owner. was he scared your golden bundle would hurt his alsation? ffs! talk about precious...(as well as thoughtless)

ingles2 · 24/09/2009 11:15

She can be very scary Hatwoman

IWantCleanCarpets · 24/09/2009 11:16

YANBU I always put mine on the lead if I see another dog on a lead approaching

moosemama · 24/09/2009 11:32

I sort of get both sides here. I understand why people don't want to be approached by loose dogs that they cannot predict the behaviour of, but also think that dogs shouldn't be kept on the lead all the time or repeatedly put back on the lead every time they see another dog as this in itself can lead to all sorts of problems

All three of my dogs have been trained to respond to the 'leave' command and that means leave be it a toy, person, food or another dog, so even if they are off lead, they don't approach other dogs or people unless I've given them the ok first.

I think someone else mentioned it being an urban problem. Dogs can only learn to communicate with each other if they are allowed to interact. Unfortunately not enough dog owners start socialising their pups from a young age and the result is lots and lots of dogs being walked in public places that aren't able to read each others body language. Some of these dogs will react in an aggressive manner either through simple misunderstanding/misreading of the other dog's body language or through fear/anxiety or dominance. A sad sorry state of affairs when you consider how peacefully wild dogs can live together communicating in the main through this very medium.

These days many dogs are very often kept in isolation from one another and walked once a day around the roads or park whilst attached to a lead. Dogs are intelligent animals that need social interaction with others of their own kind, mental stimulation and exercise. Dragging them on their leads on the same route around the park or roads day after day, simply does not meet their needs and we are often left with socially inept animals who are also either pent up through lack of exercise or depressed through lack of mental stimulus.

Often a dog that would not be aggressive in any other situation, will react aggressively on the lead as they cannot escape and with the 'flight' option removed they have only the 'fight' option left to apply. This can be made worse by the fact that every time an owner calls his/her dog away from another dog and puts him back on the lead, he receives reinforcement of the message that the other dog is in fact something to worry about thus heightening his anxiety and increasing the changes of him reacting in a negative manner.

I am not saying that people don't love or care for their dogs, because in the vast majority of cases they do. Unfortunately in a lot of cases there is just a lack of understanding of what exactly a dog needs to keep it physically, mentally and emotionally healthy.

Ahem. Anyway - I shall get orf me soapboax now and try to answer the OP. YABU yet YANBUish. In an ideal world, dogs would be able to run and play together off lead with very few problems, unfortunately in the current climate of undersocialised, understimulated, underexercised dogs, it is sometimes advisable to exercise caution when approaching other dogs. Imho there is no 'unwritten law' about putting dogs on lead when meeting other dogs on a walk, it is really down to individual assessment of the situation, the other dog and the owner. I understand why you might feel the need to put your dog on the lead to keep him with you while you are running and as long as you let him socialise with other dogs on other occasions that is absolutely fine. However, it would be much easier for you if you trained him to come and leave on command, then you could just carry on running, give your dog the command and there would be no need for you to stop and put his lead on.

BitOfFun · 24/09/2009 11:36

The point of me taking my dog to the park is precisely so I can let her off the lead for a run- I had no idea some people didn't do this tbh.

girlsyearapart · 24/09/2009 12:37

Thanks for your answers everyone.

Like ceres and wtwta I also have a Staffie. He's 8 now so quite an old boy.

We live near the Thames so most of my run is along the tow path. He's off the lead for the majority of it and I probably run 3-4 times a week. He (generally) comes when I call him but I'm more talking about times when in the distance I see another dog which is on the lead or standing so close to the owner that I can't tell. In that instance I'd put mine on a lead too.

So if I have mine on the lead and am running past people with their dogs off lead they are milling around my legs tripping me up it makes me wonder why they didn't put theirs on lead when they saw us coming? Especially since he's a big scary Staffie!

I don't put mine on lead because of other dogs I put mine on lead if other dogs are also on leads. He has been to all those socialisation classes and is good with others but I just had it in my head that if another dog is on lead you should put yours on and I wondered if I'd just made that up?!

Hence the AIBU post..

Before everyone gets at me for only walking the dog 3 times a week- the running is in addition to his normal daily/twice daily walks where the focus is on him!

Couldn't go running without him I'd feel mean and he makes me feel safer.

He has to be lead for some parts as despite my best efforts he has ZERO road sense. But that's another story.

OP posts:
robino · 24/09/2009 12:47

BOF - I had no idea until we moved to our current house and got our dog. Have always had dogs growing up and it was never problem.

BUT it appeared to be an unwritten rule around here - drives me mad but I try to adhere to it (mainly cos I got sick of the grumbling). My dog is a rescue dog, we've had her for 7 years and she STILL bounds up to any dog she sees if she isn't on the lead - we have tried everything we can think of to stop her but she just doesn't come back until she's had a sniff. Added to this, when she is on the lead, she hates being approached by other dogs. So I can see both sides here - hence, if the park is empty or has other leadless dogs I let her off, if people have their dog on the lead I keep her on.

Might out myself here but this morning took her and the DDs out for a walk, kids (2.8 and 14 months) are always in double buggy for a "decent" (and quick!) morning walk. Got to park and the only other dog was off the lead so I let her off. I usually scan carefully and if any "leadwalkers" arrive I stick her on the lead but this morning somebody snuck in the side way while I was dealing with the kids and my dog spotted her before I did. If you're reading, I'd like to apologise but I'd also like to point out that by picking your precious pup up so that my rickety old lab cross with dicky hips devil dog couldn't get to it, that if indeed my dog were a devil dog it is highly likely both your pooch and YOU would have been hurt...

BitOfFun · 24/09/2009 13:35

It's a minefield, isn't it?

claricebeansmum · 24/09/2009 13:38

Absolutely agree - if you see another dog on a lead you should put your dog on a lead to.

Our dog had an op yesterday and is currently recovering. She can be walked on the lead but does not need lots of other dogs getting her over excited.

pagwatch · 24/09/2009 13:41

YABU
I don't put my dog on a lead if I see a dog on one.
Because if I see a dog on a lead I just call him and he stays next to me.
He approaches odgs off their lead but stays with us when told to. So he is not bothering anyone.
I also call him to me if we see horses as whilst he does not fun atthem or bark I always think an untethered dog may worry a rider. But i don't put him on a leash - why should i if he is obedient?

pagwatch · 24/09/2009 13:42

gawd. spelling even worse than usual. sorry

Stayingsunnygirl · 26/09/2009 15:37

I have a question - if I am walking my dog in a field full of cows and cowpoo, and my dog does a poo - do I have to pick it up? Other dog owners using the same field don't but I made dh pick up our puppy's poo - he thought I was being ridiculous - who's right - him or me?

Pikelit · 26/09/2009 15:49

I don't put my dog on a lead just because I see another dog who is leashed. He was trained, from tiny puppyhood, to respect the barriers, so to to speak, and he knows better than me which dogs are unfriendly. Hence he goes absolutely nowhere near them! But then I take the view that it is essential for dogs to learn their own language and this is made all the harder if humans keep intervening and denying natural contact. Only yesterday I watched someone pick up their admittedly cute terrier every single time another dog came into view. Quite what this pup is going to learn about its own species I don't know. But self-preservation is unlikely to be on the list.

If my dog was unreliable with other dogs he would never come OFF the lead in public places, however.

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