You seem preoccupied.Are you Ok?

[jardy]

A colleague often asks me if I am ok,or she says I seem preoccupied,do I need to talk.
Along with You look tireddoes anyone else hate certain remarks or questions?

oh the farking staff. Yes I know they can't give me details blah blah blah. But there are some things I would have thought that "even" the night staff should know.

Firstly I asked how he was - "he's fine, he's in bed" (well he wasn't bloody "fine" when he rang me a little under an hour ago).

Then I thought i'd ask about visiting times while I had someone from the hospital on the phone. Yes I know they're night staff but still (having worked nights in a care home) I'd have thought that they'd at least have some idea about the basics such as visiting and meal times.

"ermm, I think it's from 9.........hang on a minute" > "no 10am until ermm, think it's 8pm, but avoid mealtimes which I think are about 12 and 5"

ok thanks - didn't even bother with my next question which was going to be whether they had the same restrictions in place as the other NHS hospitals in the town of no under 5's visiting (because of swine flu) - figured if they didn't even know when people could visit that would be beyond them.

oh shite shite shite - sorry - totally wrong thread

That'd annoy me! what's she doing/?? gaslighting you??

I'd say 'I'm fine thanks!' and then more somberly after a moment like it's just occured to you to be polite, "er, how are yooooo?" put your head to one side and look googly eyed.

'what are you thinking about?'

You look tired -I hate been told that too.Must admit you look well I took that to mean a compliment,NEVER a veiled reference to weight gain.Always thought it meant shiny eyes and shiny hair and skin.Bit disillusioned now!
Any comment such as you look preoccupied is not going to make you feel great and also I do think it is fishing.
What does gaslighting mean?Same as nosy?

Googled gaslighting-thanks,very interesting!

People can be very insensitive with their comments! A friend came to vist me at home when our second baby was just four days old. Now bearing in mind I was still very sore I thought I was doing quite well but all morning her comments were,

"Hmm, you do look tired, crumbs you look shattered! Even your lips are pale, are you sure you're ok?"

I even heard her in the kitchen telling my dh to keep an eye on me as I seemed very low!

For the record I was anything but. I was over the moon that we'd got a gorgeous baby boy, (especially as we already had a daughter who was delighted with her little brother)! I was physically uncomfortable I admit, but I'd showered, put make-up on, sorted both children out and had tidied up. I know my friend was worried about me, but those sort of comments don't do much for you!

"You know your problem? You don't have a sense of humour"

Erm, yes I do, I'm just not racist (yes certain members of dh's family, I'm talking about YOU)

My nan used to hate people saying she looked well - "then I can't say I am feeling rotten!"

If you want to have a moan about why you are feeling tired, it could give you an opportunity: "yes I am tired, no sleep, toddler teething!!"

'A smile costs nothing'

Ah go fuck yourself