to be a bit p@@@@d off a dd (3) swimming teacher letting her cry all lesson?

[littleducks]

This is the third week of swimming lesson, dd has had some before but with dh in th pool with her, she was put up a group last week after 2 weeks of assessment, so first week in new class

She loves swimming normally and has had to be reprimanded for fooling about (splashing to much etc) but is generally ok

I watch from a viewing gallery, i miss the first bit of lesson getting up there with ds in pram

DD i saw dd crying in lesson today after 15min in she continued to cry for five min while teacher forced her to participate. She has never cried in a lesson before ever. I tried getting teachers attention from gallery then went to poolside to take her out.

Teachers were very against me removing her, said it would make her play up every week. I said i wasnt paying for her to stand crying in the water and took her out.

Once dd was dressed and lesson finished i talked to her teacher who said dd was being stubborn and uncooperative (possible, dd can be like this) so they thought she should stay in

Dd says her teacher dunked her under (they do do this a bit at end of pool crossing but i didnt see it today) Teacher says she didnt, other teacher didnt either but i cant see how she can be sure.

Both teachers were cross i took her out

aibu?

Did teach swimming for years.
From age 3 1/2 the children went on their own without parents in water.
The lessons at this age are mainly water confidence, singing nursery rhymes, playing games in water etc.
Was always done with a teacher in water and one on side, 2 in water if class bigger.
3 is not too young for those type of lessons especially if the parents don't/can't regularly take the dcs swimming or have their own issues about water.

If I had a child who was crying I would usually try to convince them to have another go. If not then I'd sit them next to me and ask them to 'help' me take register/hand out floats whatever to involve them.
Unless they were utterly hysterical I would discourage parents from taking them out of the lesson. I have had children who have refused to go in the water every week and because they realise they can't just go back to Mum they have all without fail eventually got in and enjoyed it.
IME children cotton on quickly that if they won;t try something eg face in water and cry only to be fetched by a parent they won't give the things the teacher is asking of them a fair chance.
I would never force a childs head under water though and have never seen any other teacher do it either!
Hopefully it was just an off week. Another thing that worked with that age group was to take favourite toy either teddy to 'watch' from side or a doll/bath toy to take in with her.

I think 3y is way too young for formal lessons, with you not int he water with them.

Round here a child has to be 5y before they can do the proper lessons (i.e without parent with them).

By the way thanks for that BrigitBK..

Oh no I didn't mean you of course girlsyearapart. No one on mums net could ever be desribed as mean and there have to be exceptions to every rule!

She wasn't talking about you girls!

FWIW when I was 5 I had swimming lessons (couldn't swim at all) and on the first one the man made us do "seal dives" - lie on float on side of pool then get pushed in face first and have to go through his legs - with him pushing you under the water and through if you weren't managing it.

My brother and I (he was 3.5) were freaked out and terrified, never having jumped in before let alone go head first and be held underwater. We never had to go back.

Some swimming teachers are bloody scary. It's not a personal slight on you.

Ok will forgive you then!

Anyway am not technically a swim instructor anymore as am sahm..

Was never mean but it's kind of necessary to shout cos poolside has to be one of the hardest places to be heard.

In my lessons we taught 'rockets' with the little ones (3-5 ish) where they put their atms in front of them like a rocket and the teachher pushes them towards the shallow water.

Always where they can stand and if they were scared we didn't put their face in.

Sometimes the whole echoey pool, not being able to hear instructions very well and doing something that's intimidating/ a bit frightening is a bit too much, especially at 3, bless her.

Are you going to take her again?

dd has refused to eat dinner and is very mopey this evening so looks like she has got another bug and is getting ill, which would explain behaviour

I will take her back next week (or if she is ill prob in 2 weeks) and will gently remind teacher that she is actually 3 (as she has been put in more confident class i think she is the youngest but is very chatty so appears older)

she wasnt scared, she just didnt want to do it, but tbh at 3 i think that is ok sometimes, she has always loved swimming so i think forcing her to do stuff will just give her bad assosciations

the reason she has the lessons is the pool has one to one ratio rule so i cant take her and ds so she wasnt going regularly at all

the class i booked her into was more relaxed, perhaps she should be put back down and get a chance to be the 'big fish in the small pond' as it were

I personally think 3 is too young for lesson where you don't go in the water with the child. Could you get someone to watch your younger child while you take your DD to a parent and toddler lesson and leave the formal lessons until shes about 5?

Does the instructor not get int he poolw ith them at this age? If not I would definitely recommend looking for one that does. It can make a huge amount of difference.

DD went initially (although at 5y) to one where instructors just shout - because of the noise level - fromt he side and it was dreadful.

Her current lessons are much nicer. She is older and further on now so the instructors are not in the pool with her, but they do until the end of stage 3 lessons. No shouting needed, all much calmer - even in a big busy echoey pool.

there are two teachers in the water with them

Gosh she is only 3 bearly out of nappies, a bit young IMO for formal lessons. The teachers do not sound nice, i would remove your dd and look for a group which is more relaxed and geared for her age.

Would she mind being moved back down? It sounds like she is a good swimmer and chatty for her age etc but she is still little, maybe she would be happier with her own age group even if she is a stronger swimmer than them.

i dont think she would notice being moved downtbh , one class is at 1pm the other 1.30pm, in the same pool area she has yet to recognise the other kids in civvie clothes after seeing them in costumes. goggles and swim hats

I think that might be the way to go littleducks. She may be a good enough swimmer for the bigger class but emotionally etc she is still a teeny and needs to be treated as such.

Feeling it at the mo as my DD started nursery on tues, she is just over 2 but really tall and strapping, and the people were all asking her questions expecting her to answer, they all assumed she was 3, I had to keep gently reminding them that she was a tiddler.

Stick with the age group is my advice

Why has she been moved to a different group?

Is it to actually learn to swim?

If so, it could be that she´s not old enough for that.

Am also a bit [sceptical] that she is being told off for "fooling about"-she´s a three year old in water.

Sounds as if the whole thing just might not be fun enough.