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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To indulge my DD?

22 replies

NormaSknockers · 23/09/2009 09:57

DD is 3 & a bit, she's a happy, mischevious little girl with a lovely imagination, she plays lovely games with her stuffed toys etc for hours & chats away giving them names etc.

Anyway - in recent weeks DD has played a harmless game of wanting to be called Mr.Tree, I'll call DD & she'll say 'No I'm not DD I'm Mr.Tree' & so I play along, 'Mr.Tree would you like a drink', 'Mr.Tree would you like some lunch' etc etc, she finds if funny that we're all calling her Mr.Tree & she has great fun. She even went to nursery today as Mr.Tree & the nursery staff are playing along too so she's loving it!

My mother (who I'm slowly learning is a toxic parent) thinks it's awful that I'm playing along, she says I should tell DD to stop being silly & refuse to call her Mr.Tree. Once again I feel like a bad mum & am second guessing myself. It's harmless though right? I mean come on, she's 3, she's playing a game, having fun why wouldn't I play along with that?

Please someone tell me I'm NBU?

OP posts:

Tinkerisdead · 23/09/2009 09:59

Oh bloody hell she's 3!! i'd indulge it, its things like this that made me want kids. Its all a bit of fun to me. I'd take to calling my mother Grandma Tree too!!!

Doodlez · 23/09/2009 10:00

YANBU.

If you had a 'pet' name or nick-name for her, it's the same thing.

I think your mum needs to lighten up a bit. Anyway, she's had her kids, now it's your turn!

GypsyMoth · 23/09/2009 10:00

oh you're sooo not bu!!!

she's 3....she'll lose that interest soon enough,let her be cute and lovely and enjoy it!!

not as if she'll be mr tree at age 16!!!

Original poster

NormaSknockers · 23/09/2009 10:02

Phew! Ok good, really must learn to stop listening to my mother - she makes me feel crap at every turn!

OP posts:

ILoveStripeySocks · 23/09/2009 10:03

nooooo! you are not being unreasonable to play along! My DD2 changed her name to Amethyst, and DD1 had an imaginary big sister called Wilbur. I loved playing along. Take pride in the fact your DD has a fab imagination

letsgostrawberrypicking · 23/09/2009 10:03

At least your DD doesnt HAVE to be called spiderman AND wear the mask all around Tesco like my ds and will not do anything unless he is called that!

Boy your mum would have a field day with him!!

Let her be Mr Tree - it's something to tease remind her of when she's a teenager

Original poster

NormaSknockers · 23/09/2009 10:04

Aww thanks Stripey, I will take great pride in it

LOL Letsgo - sounds like a fun shopping trip!

OP posts:

seeker · 23/09/2009 10:04

My dd chose several new names for herself which I cheerfully used. She also spent a week as a lemur, and a particularly trying time as a flamingo. She also had names her feet, and I had to ask them by name to put their shoes on.

Glad your mother didn't see that!

Carry on, it's fun and sweet and does no harm at all -rather the opposite.

HumphreyCobbler · 23/09/2009 10:05

I'm sorry to be mean about your mother, but how awful that she thinks like this. Was she like this to you when you were growing up? Be proud that YOUR instincts are so child friendly.

MadameOvary · 23/09/2009 10:05

Hm Grandma out of her Tree sounds more like Poison Ivy.
Ignore her, your DD sounds absolutely lovely.

overmydeadbody · 23/09/2009 10:06

YANBU

Ignore your mum, she obviously knows nothing.

Indulging your 3 yr old her fantasies is fine fine fine and makes you a better parent than the one your mum thinks you should be.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 23/09/2009 10:07

Why knock on the head one of the nicest bits of having (or being) a three year old?
My youngest DC is 7 now and I miss all those imaginary games. DD2 was a dog called Smudge for a long while and I loved playing along with it. DD3 was quite often a cat.
Your mum is completely wrong, but you already know that. Enjoy it!

hullygully · 23/09/2009 10:07

She's just branching out and trying new things, but she may grow up confused about her roots.

Original poster

NormaSknockers · 23/09/2009 10:13

Sadly my mother was never one these 'plays with her children' kind of parent. I cannot recall playing any games with my mother, imaginery or otherwise! Our house was always spotlessly clean & unless you opened the door to our bedrooms you would never have known children even lived there!

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 23/09/2009 10:17

PMSL HullyGully - very good.

letsgostrawberrypicking · 23/09/2009 10:23

ooh very good Hullygully!

Callisto · 23/09/2009 10:23

My DD was Steve Irwin for quite a while and still hero worships him, though now she prefers to be known as Terri Irwin. She is 4.5.

Normas - my childhood home was just the same as yours. I well remember the trouble I'd get in for walking in a bit of mud or getting pen on the table etc.

hullygully · 23/09/2009 10:27

More people should take a leaf out of her book. (Sorry, will stop now).

ChazsBarmyArmy · 23/09/2009 10:31

Currently DS1 aged 6 is a parent to an imaginary squirrel and a sheep. I am their mum and he is their dad. They have an imaginary grandfather, a car that can fold up into his pocket and they regularly come to school with us. I wouldn't change it for the world.

CMOTdibbler · 23/09/2009 10:40

Apparently I'm a granny to DS's twins who are called Angela and Abbey. Mostly they are in his tummy, but occasionally pop out to do things with us.

I love playing with him and his various personas, and I think its good for them too

dilemma456 · 23/09/2009 10:47

Message withdrawn

kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/09/2009 11:08

YANBU in the slightest. Our dd refused to answer to her given name for about a month. she preferred to be called Lydia (I had stupidly told her that I wanted to call her that), luckily her school indulged this and she soon reverted to her real name. I was glad actually, as soon as I had to use Lydia for her I realised how unLydialike she is.
Nango is another story.

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