To think this is a little insensitive....

[Littlepurpleprincess]

I was at a soft play area with DS this afternoon and there were two mums sat at the table next to me having a very loud conversation about how awful teenage parents are. They were discussing a TV programme called Underage and pregnant or something and they had the most awful steroetypical views.

I am a young parent. I know these mums from other parent groups and they know I had DS fairly young. Even if they didn't, I'm quite obviously a teen mum. I'm 20 and DS is 3, but I could very easily pass for about 15.

They new I could hear them, and they were basically implying that children of teenage parents are messed up and embarrased by their mums as they get older as "teenage mums relive their lost youths when their kids are teenagers". WTF?

What utter bollocks. DS is loved, well cared for, well fed and clothed. DP and I both work, we are not on benefits and provide for our child and at no point in my life have ever felt the need to dress in a mini skirt and go out clubbing so why would they assume that I will do this when DS is 16?

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and all that but don't you agree it's a bit rude to make those comments when they knew I was in ear shot?

Well, for what it's worth, I'm 19 and my DD is 3 months. I have encountered prejudice; I have received dirty looks and I have been patronized.
But I don't care any more. Because I am very happily settled with my DP, my DD is a joy, I am mid degree, I have lovely friends and a nice house.We do claim some benefits because we need to see ourselves through uni. We will repay it all in taxes.
I know this and I wouldn't be arsed explaining it to anyone that ignorant. I am not here to fight to dispell the stereotype; it's not my battle and you needn't make it yours. We're mums and we do our best, regardless of our age. If others can't see beyond age, where people live, whether they claim benefits its their problem.
Don't be bothered, it is unfair but as long as you and those that know you know you're doing well it doesn't matter.
And FWIW I don't think all very young teen mums are doomed to fail, I don't think that those who do live solely off benefits for whatever reason are a drain on the state and I don't think anyone deserves to be labelled a bad parent unless they very clearly are.
So HA!

Nope Definately not Unreasonable but are you sure it was aimed at you? Either way though in a place like that it's not a conversation one should be having. There are many parents who don't treat their children properly some old some young.

I had my DS, now 3 when I was 19 and some of the looks I get is quite funny because I too look about 15/16 (could'nt buy a lottery ticket on Sat as had no ID ).

When I first went to a baby and toddler group a woman was talking to me, she was there with her grandson and she said she really could'nt understand the 'children having children culture of today' and 'it must be so difficult for people like me having to waste so much of their young lives', I was a bit peeved at first but then I just smirked it off and said that I'd already achieved a fair bit in my 'young life' having been with my partner since I was 14 and moving almost 150 miles from a very rough part of Glasgow to give our child a better start in life and since the age of 18 I was the supervisor in an after school club!

She looked a little miffed

And BTW I am not usually that self absorbed and TBH am not actually that bothered by any of what I said but I knew it would wipe the nasty little smirk off her face LOL.

I don't think it was aimed at me at all. They were either to dim to realise it would've offended me or to insensitive to care. Either that or they did not realise I was a young parent I can't get served alcohol in shops without ID - I got ID'd buying kitchen utensils in Wilko's not long ago! I once had someone openly exclaim that I look far to young to have a child! He didn't mean any harm though, was just genuinely suprised and spoke without thinking.

I am 24 years old, married and pregnant with our first child.

Even though I'm an adult in my 20s I still have had some people look at me as if to ask why would I even want to have a baby at this age, as if it's too young.

People just have their own views and are quick to judge sometimes even when there's nothing or very little to judge.

Very annoying!

I have felt my face go red several times when talking to people about being pregnant even though it was a planned pregnancy. Just that look some people give me makes me blush!

Apparently 18-24 is the healthiest time to have a baby.

As I've said before, you're either too young, too old, have too many kids or too few, go out to work, stay at home... whatever you do, you'll have someone willing to have a pop at you. From someone at the other end of the spectrum (38) I can see loads of advantages of having your children young. DH's mum had him when she was 17 and he went to university, has a really fantastic job and is just lovely (I'm biased).

It sounds like just idle chatter, but it was insensitive of them to talk about that when you were sat nearby. I suppose we all fall into that trap of wanting to feel a bit superior from time to time so maybe they were just trying to bolster their own egos.

They probably haven't even twigged that you were a teenage mum because you probably don't look like the sort of teenage mum they imagine. People who generalise about teenage parents being crap are usually imagining that they all look and act like Vicky Pollard.

Who is herself a massive stereotype of course. Remember the scene where she had about nine children in a huge buggy and they were all hers?

As someone else has already said, the programme has kids on it, not teens, many of them do cope amazingly but are unable to support babies as they are too young to work or claim benefits so it is generally the grandparents that support all of them. I must admit I did fall in love with baby Stanley the other night, he was gorgeous!

Trouble is, 'teen parents' can be anyone from the age of 13 to 19. There is an enormous different between having a child at 13/14 and 18/19, both in terms of life experience, physical maturity and (probable) emotional maturity.

One of my good friends had a baby at 16 and she's a great mum. It's nothing to do with age. Next time tell them to flap their gums in private

lol at Vicky Pollard, you will NEVER in a million years catch me in a pink tracksuit!