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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to continue to send DD to nursery 2 days a week when I dont work anymore?

59 replies

Boobalina · 22/09/2009 12:53

I lost my job at the beginning of the year so kept my DS in preschool and DD in nursery 2 days a week to keep their nursery places open whilst looking for work.

DS has now started primary school and DD still goes to her nursery for 2 days a week. I havent been able to find any P/T work still.

I have an angst-y dilemma - do I keep DD in nursery where she loves her careers and little mates and also keeps her place open should I get work.

Take DD out and save money whilst I am not working but take her away from her little friends (she is 2).

When she is at nursery I use the time to do all housework, shopping, laundry etc...

OP posts:

jelliebelly · 22/09/2009 14:25

If you are happy and she is happy what's the problem?

Pikelit · 22/09/2009 14:27

If you can afford it, keep her in Nursery and don't feel guilty. It's good for both of you to have some independence. As for not having the sort of friends that are remembered later, with respect, that's bollox. My dss (26 & 28) have a core group of particularly close friends, all of who got together at Toddler & Playgroup. They didn't forget each other when divided and sent to separate primary schools so don't underestimate the value of friends made at nursery.

SecretNinjaChipmunk · 22/09/2009 14:33

we did exactly the same as you and it has taken 10 months but i am now about to start a job and my ds is still in his lovely nursery. we were lucky enough to be able to reduce to afternoon places on the two days he was there sorry that doesn't seem to be an option. i used the time to job hunt, do cv's and keep house in order and found it very useful. if you can afford it, i say do it exp if yur dc enjoys it.

SecretNinjaChipmunk · 22/09/2009 14:35

esp if your dc enjoys it! sorry!

Pitchounette · 22/09/2009 14:57

Message withdrawn

lynniep · 22/09/2009 15:15

I would keep her there if you can afford it.

I'm keeping DS to his nursery days whilst Im on maternity leave although we're going to have to cut back in other areas.

He loves going, I love the peace (although it won't be peaceful as it is when I'm working as I'll be looking after the new DS!)

As long as we can cope with the temporary drop in income, which I think we can, he is staying put. (he does 2.5 days)

I have a friend who hasn't worked since having her DS but they can afford to put him in nursery two half days a week and I think thats a great idea!

stillstanding · 22/09/2009 15:23

I personally wouldn't (mainly because I am not a huge fan of all day nursery care for such a young child) but I know LOADS of people who do particularly while they are on maternity leave and have another little DC to care for.

I say if it is working for you both, go for it. Definitely not being unreasonable.

blueshoes · 22/09/2009 16:07

As others say, keep your dd there if you can afford it. You can use that time to look for a job too - so view it as an investment for the future.

Wigglesworth · 22/09/2009 16:20

YANBU, if you have the cash keep her in.

CheerfulYank · 22/09/2009 16:34

I didn't have time to read all the messages, but YANBU.

I don't work over the summer and I still sent DS to daycare a few days a week. I needed the break and so did he.

niftyfifty · 22/09/2009 16:39

YANBU - If you can afford it and she is obviously happy there then stick with it. If you get the housework etc done you can do nice things with her the rest of the week.

TheMightyToosh · 22/09/2009 16:40

Keep her in if you can afford it. If she likes it, she will gain a lot from being there and you will be able to enjoy some time to yourself.

If you plan on getting another job in the future, it would be better to maintain her routine rather than take her out and then put her back in again later. Plus if you take her out and then decide to work again, you might lose her place and have to send her somewhere different, which would be horrid for her if she is settled where she is. Or she might get used to being at home and then you will have a battle when it comes to starting school. I would just carry on now you have her settled somewhere she is happy.

Ignore anyone who judges you! None of their business what you do! I think nursery is great if the kids like it - mine has a blast! I would definitely not take her out for any reason - she's there til school now!

warthog · 22/09/2009 16:40

if you can afford it, keep her there. good for her social network.

onadietcokebreak · 22/09/2009 16:47

If you can afford it then yes keep her there especially if you are likely to have problems getting place again.

Good to interact with other children and I also believe they do make friends...admittely may not be lifelong friends.

Ignore your friends opinion....you have your reasons and who is she to judge.

Plus if you can spend the time doing housey stuff they will have more time with mummy when home with you x

curiositykilled · 22/09/2009 17:37

If they enjoy it, you can afford it and you're actively looking for work keep her there.

I don't agree with riven that she would forget all her friends as soon as she left. Some kids would but my 4 year old remembers a boy he was very close to from 3 months to 2 1/2 years. He still asks about him sometimes and talks about playing at his house and he hasn't seen him for nearly 2 years as his mum moved away. He's had friends at nursery since and is now in school so I'd say it depends on the child what and who they rememember.

mollymawk · 22/09/2009 17:42

Pitchounette makes the VG point that if you are to look for a job you need time to do it.

And if she likes it and you like it and can afford it, keep going.

sincitylover · 22/09/2009 17:48

I was made redundant when ds1 was 13 months and kept him in ft. Because I needed to get another ft job and would have lost his place.

I did feel irrationally guilty though.

slowreadingprogress · 22/09/2009 18:37

Personally if this was me in your situation I would take her out. Two full days in a childcare setting are not as good as time at home for a 2 year old imvho. Again, in my personal opinion she can get plenty of social time (more than she developmentally needs) if you take her to a playgroup a couple of times a week.

sincitylover · 22/09/2009 19:17

slowreadingprogress · 22/09/2009 22:32

well, that's rude sincitylover

I could just as well have posted after every other opinion, couldn't I? I haven't felt the need to them, I have done other people the courtesy of allowing them their opinion.

scottishmummy · 22/09/2009 22:43

if you can afford it maintain the nursery stability and friends.also allow you concentrate on job hunt.hope something comes up for you it is tricky times at mo

good luck

SarfEasticated · 22/09/2009 22:50

I'm in the same position as you, 2 yo LO at nursery, me at home 3 days a week feeling like a dosser looking for a part-time job. I feel that my H and DD both have more rewarding days than I do sometimes. BUT i am hopeful that things will change, she loves nursery, and I just have to keep looking. You also need to have days free for interviews, freelance work, that kind of thing, so it is useful. Finding any job is hard at the moment and part-time just seems to make it harder.
Good luck, and I reckon your mate is jealous

blueshoes · 22/09/2009 23:08

slowreading, it could be because your post came immediately after sincity's where she said she was feeling irrationally guilty about having to leave her dd at ft nursery because she needed to keep the place for another ft job she was looking for.

1dilemma · 22/09/2009 23:10

each to their own with this one as far as I'm concerned

mine come/came out when I was on maternity leave, I did keep the first in for a bit when I had the second but hated doing so hated having to take him down to nursery (which was near work) and felt I was being conned by the need to 'keep the place' so sure enough took him out and got a place back in the same nursery when I returned to work

However I do sympathise with the need to get stuff done and hope you don't feel 'guilty' whatever you decide

I'm in two minds about using my 'free' hours for my youngest!

Eyeballls · 22/09/2009 23:20

I had today off work and still sent DD to nursery. She only goes one day a week and I had the dentist and other stuff to do so I thought she might as well go. It's the first time I've done that and I felt awful all day. But I think that was for my own selfish reasons because it was odd being home without her and I missed her. On the other hand she had a whale of a time

Definitely each to their own on this one. Hope you make the right decision for you and not what you think you should do.

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