to want DS to stay at home with DH while I am away this weekend?

[woozlet]

I feel like IABU, but here goes -

I am going to oxford this weekend to visit my best friend. DS (7 months) is staying at home with DH. Last night DH informed me that on friday night they would be staying at MILs. I would rather that they were at home to keep DS in exactly the same routine etc while I am away, as he is just starting to get to that clingy stage. Plus I have other reasons -

1. The travel cot mattress at MILs is rock hard. I have had to take DS in with me when staying there before as he's woken up.

2. MIL is quite overbearing and she will see this as her perfect opportunity to take over for a day. The first squeak DS makes she will be in the room going 'I'll take him' and telling DH to have a long lie. Then she doesn't seem to understand that babies get bored sometimes.

Anyway, AIBU to want them to stay at home while I am away?? I don't feel like I can actually tell DH he can't go or anything like that, but I have already stated that I'd rather they didn't go and stay there overnight....

Thank you for the replies. Pretty much resounding IABU then

Yes, I do feel a bit resentful that DH will STILL get his long lie. Suppose there's always Sunday morning when he will have to get up. :evil:

As for MIL knowing how to look after babies - you'd be surprised!! They have looked after him once while we out for dinner and completely disregarded everything we told them about what works for DS. That's another story though!

Yes you are although I know where you are coming from. DH wants a hand too and some reassurance maybe.

Let Grannie fuss over them both and relax and enjoy yourself.

If I go away DH stills gets his Mum to stay and my boys are 2 and 7, also you don't have to spend any time with your MIL - result!

YANBU

I think it's not just about routine but also about your DH taking joy and responsibility in looking after your baby. I think it's quite horrid that as soon as he gets the opportunity to spedn time with his child he gets rid of it.

at the amount of hapless men who need 'mummy' as soon as DW goes away. My dh looks after our four dcs (7y-10m) without any fuss and cooks, cleans sometimes more than I do.

YABU to want dh to stay in house all day - tho i understand where you are coming from in that mil may take over and dh wont be looking after/spending time with your dc

If the mattress is hard then dh will get woken up (you wont)

routines are good but can be flexible/broken sometimes

if it was the other way around, would you want to stay in all day/night if dh was away?

'They have looked after him once while we out for dinner and completely disregarded everything we told them about what works for DS'

Inlaws are great at that, you do learn to jsut grin and bear it! And the children get to learn that there are different routine/rules at home and at the GPs. Eventually!

My dp does the same when left with the kids. It kinda irritates me because I spend all week caring by myself for them while he is at work, but he can't manage one or two nights on his own. That is all it comes down to though, he can cope with them on his own, but jsut hates being home with no other adult company!

I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel that way, but you would be unreasonable to expect him to stay home because you don't like it.

Different routines, different places! Its good for children to learn that, I think.

For example, when my children stay with my parents, the routine is that on the last morning, Grandpa gives them ice-cream for breakfast!

Grandparents are for spoiling kids and having fun with them as long as the child is happy and not being put at risk.

So I think you are being a bit unreasonable, and also quite a lot pfb!

Blondeshavemorefun - I don't expect them to stay in all day at all, I told him he would go loopy if he didn't go out. A daytime visit to ILs would be perfect IMO.

I'm not actually that mad on routine normally, but he does have a bedtime routine and I would have preferred if everything was the same while his mummy is away if you see what I mean.

Yes he is my PFB. I find it so hard to leave him, especially if it's not arrangements I have made like this friday! I do KNOW I am being unreasonable really. Will just try to enjoy myself and not worry too much.

could mil come to you instead?

that way dc will still be in his own bed?

when i go away my dh often takes the dcs to his parents (6 hour drive away)
i love it because i dont need to go with them all for a while - inlaws get to see dcs and i dont have to, win win!!

YAB(understandably considering he is your PFB)U. He might actually be better if he isn't doing his normal routine as you won't be there. He'd probably miss you more, whereas being at his grandma's will be a fab adventure.