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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for HATING meal times, especially tea time

15 replies

NeedCoffee · 21/09/2009 18:18

I'm sick of eating my tea cold, having food thrown at me/wiped on the walls/chairs/tables/clothes, refusing to eat.

What am I doing wrong?

OP posts:
famishedass · 21/09/2009 18:20

you should have married someone else

Original poster
NeedCoffee · 21/09/2009 18:21

LOL

OP posts:
hullygully · 21/09/2009 18:22

Put them in the garden and throw the food to them from a great distance. They'll eat if they're hungry. Birds'll clear up if not.

Original poster
NeedCoffee · 21/09/2009 18:27

[GRIN] Good idea, I'm liking it Hully.

OP posts:
ManicMother7777 · 21/09/2009 19:06

Once I jut broke down and sobbed and howled for half an hour. Things got better after that.

DwayneDibbley · 21/09/2009 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

allaboutme · 21/09/2009 19:09

I just roll with it.
Present the dinner on the table, sit back and accept that it will be a shit tip within 5 mins and no one will eat much.
Soon as I started accepting it, it stopped bothering me so much!
Just wipe them down before packing them off to watch a cartoon while I clean up the mess (again!)

piscesmoon · 21/09/2009 19:12

You have to get tough!
Lay down the rules

  1. Anyone who throws food has it taken away and they get down and wait until the next meal.
2.If they don't want to eat it, don't comment-let them get down but NO snacks. Food wiped on things-take away and get down BUT when you have finished they get a cloth and clean up.

(This is assuming that they are past the toddler-can't control a spoon age.)

They will get the message eventually if you remain calm and consistent. They won't starve. On no account give alternatives or snacks and ignore all whinging.

You have done your job by producing the meal. It is up to them whether they eat it or not.

piscesmoon · 21/09/2009 19:14

sorry-forgot to put 3 in front of last one.

DwayneDibbley · 21/09/2009 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onthepier · 21/09/2009 19:35

I do sympathise, NEEDCOFFEE! The following used to be a typical scenario in my house at teatime, around 5 years ago. (My dc's are no trouble now at mealtimes so you just need to think it WILL pass)!

My eldest would refuse to eat whatever I put in front of her and would have to be bribed with her favourite video afterwards etc, at one time I even resorted to a square of chocolate later for each vegetable she ate! She didn't throw tantrums, she was just extremely stubborn which was infuriating!

Her younger brother would just scream through every meal, putting his sister off her food once I'd finally got her to eat, and it wasn't unusual for his bowl of food to go shooting across the table making an almighty mess when it landed on the floor!

My dh would normally arrive home as this was all going on, and moan at me about all the chaos, disappear upstairs/to the garden with no offer of help at all, (I knew he'd been at work all day but at that time of the evening an extra pair of hands would have been good!)

After getting them to eat maybe a few mouthfuls, clearing up and then getting two overwrought children to bed I was exhausted myself! One evening I just shouted at everybody, "Can somebody tell me what I'm doing WRONG!"

We as a couple really enjoy our food, I always did as a child too. I think some children seem to just be programmed not to. The thing is to keep persevering and try not to appear bothered if they don't eat, easier said than done I know!!

Original poster
NeedCoffee · 21/09/2009 19:49

Ah thanks for all the replies, its mainly DD2 who is nearly 2, coming in the kitchen whilst I'm cooking, screaming if I shut the gate, I know toddlers are meant to make a mess, its the refusing to sit in the high chair, wanting the TV on, general messiness etc and then DD1 9, nagging for a drink, I just want to scream and be left alone to eat by MYSELF, I know it'll pass eventually, but its this kind of thing that puts me off EVER having another child, I just don't have the energy!

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 21/09/2009 19:50

They do it because it gives them attention. It is nothing to do with food- it is all to do with control. You are giving them the control and the attention.
Explain the rules and stick to them. They will be in shock if you move the food and tell them to get down. It won't be long before they eat properly. If you stay firm there won't be a problem. Once you have explained the rules don't discuss or comment further-just do it. Don't get drawn into discussion-ignore them. Serve up the next meal at the normal time and repeat if necessary.

piscesmoon · 21/09/2009 19:53

If she is only 2 you have to allow for mess-I was assuming she was older. Put a large cloth under the high chair. If she won't sit in the high chair ignore her but don't offer food. Just calmly say that she can have it in thehigh chair-repeat like a broken record. She won't starve. DD1 could get her own drink.

Original poster
NeedCoffee · 21/09/2009 20:01

Thanks PM, I've given up with the highchair, she's now in a booster seat at the table, think its just cos i usually feel frazzled by tea time and the girls are whiney. Will keep in mind the taking away of food if she messes though

OP posts:
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