to find out the sex of our baby

[womble1]

We have a lovely but very hard work DS. I have our scan next week for baby number 2. I would really love a DD, so much so that I feel that and I need to know the sex so as to get used to the idea of another boy and as bad as it sounds, almost get over, not having a DD.

I know I sound terrible.

yanbu.do what you want.the sex of the baby doesn't determine its character though!
ds1 has always been hard work.ds2 has always been easier.nothing to do with them being boys-just they're personalities!

YANBU to find out. I am a big fan of finding out in advance. I have 2 DDs and am expecting #3. Will definitely be asking at the scan. I would quite like a DS, but of course will be happy with a DD, so much better to have time to be prepared and get used to the idea. And helps to bond with the baby in utero.

It's your own business if you want to find out, and don't allow others to influence or criticise you. I always used the comeback "Actually I think people who don't want to find out are weird" - that shut them up.

Womble1 its your choice at the end of the day.

From the age of 18 months till my ds started nursery he was a nightmare . I couldnt understand why he wouldnt sit still in a cafe ect, he was sooooo lively and I can honestly say that when he started school he was a different child. He is very bright and I think he just needed that extra stimulation.

He was 2.6 when his sister was born and im not going to lie it was soooo hard he hated her. Fast forward 2 years and he loves her so much and he would be lost without her.

Girls are very very independant and my dd will be 3 in jan and she is exactly the same as my ds at that age but 100 times more independant.

I think sometimes people find certain ages really hard and I can honestly say 2/4 years I found hard, but I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck and im sure you wil be happy either way xx

Womble, I had a strong preference and found out at 13 weeks. I'm glad I found out, because I want to be able to look at DS2 when he is born and not feel the tiniest pang of regret.

I'm at peace with it now, but it took a few weeks to get used to the idea and to give up the longing for a girl (I'm not keen on having three). But I was horrified by my disappointment. Tethersend describes the shame well. The scan wasn't a good experience - I struggled to focus on enjoying the encounter as much as I did with DS1. But I'm on the other side of that now and I'm so glad that I've worked through those feelings and can enjoy the rest of the pregnancy and the 20 week scan.

There are some harsh views on MN about people with preferences. Maybe it's selfish or whatever, but I needed to allow myself the disappointment so that I could move on and be in a much better position to welcome DS2 into the world. Gawd, a ramble. But I would do it if you have a strong preference.

Womble, my friend felt exactly the same as you, she needed to know what she was having as she had her heart set on a girl and felt she needed the rest of the pregnancy to deal with whatever it was.
I see other posters, say the same.
I have a dd and a ds and did not find out with either of them. For the next, I will find out - to help the bonding, names and for the practicalities - ie room swapping, clothes etc.
The practical reasons do seem a little lame to be honest, but I am thinking of the work.
But then will I regret knowing when i didnt with the other two?

Thank-you for your very very honest answers! I really really am grateful for your honesty and it makes me feel less guilty.

Friday is the day!

I wanted to find out at the 20 week scan for exactly the same reasons but I wanted a boy

She had her legs crossed

did find out at a 34 week scan though, I just didnt want to have any disappointment at the birth, but in reality I think even if I hadnt known beforehand I dont think I would have cared.

Everybody else is a different story