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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder about this?

20 replies

warmbobblehat · 18/09/2009 11:15

I have one DS, pregnant with number 2.

Friend just had a daughter after a little boy and commented on now "feeling complete".

AIBU to think does this mean you 'need' a daughter to feel complete or indeed a son and a daughter???

I hadn't really thought about it.......now I'm wondering about my 2nd baby.

OP posts:
SignoraRubyrubyruby · 18/09/2009 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 18/09/2009 11:17

Are you sure she meant that one boy one girl was what made her feel complete or the fact that now she has 2 children she feels complete.

DeathbyDora · 18/09/2009 11:21

Depends on the person really. I have one friend who is utterly chuffed with her 2 girls and another who was devastated (briefly) when she found out she was having another boy.
Just a thoughtless comment from your friend perhaps? I think lots of people assume everyone wants "one of each" but everyone is different.

I watched a documentary once about a woman having her 6th child after 5 boys. She was having a c section and said to the doc "if it's a girl, tie my tubes...if it's another boy don't, we may try one more time!!"

Original poster
warmbobblehat · 18/09/2009 11:27

To be fair I think I assumed she meant now she has one of each. I guess I am wondering in the back of my mind if I need a girl

OP posts:
Scorps · 18/09/2009 11:29

I don't think its needing a daughter. Some women have a number of dv they want and then feel done.

I am pg with dc4 (2 of each now ) and even if they were all boys, 4 is what i want/ed.

Original poster
warmbobblehat · 18/09/2009 12:44

So Scorps if you had had all 4 boys you wouldn't have felt that you had missed out on a girl?

OP posts:
Smithagain · 18/09/2009 13:32

I would say that I "feel complete" - and have done since the very moment my second child arrived. They are both girls. The family just seems complete and as it should be. So I might have made that comment at the same stage, but it would have had nothing to do with gender.

AMumInScotland · 18/09/2009 14:06

I "felt complete" after just one DC, so I don't think it has anything much to do with numbers or gender, just when you are happy and not broody any more.

Some people do seem to want a particular sex, or a mix, but I think more have a general idea how many children they'd like, or what feels right when you get to that number

Scorps · 18/09/2009 15:57

I may have had moments of mourning a girl, but not especially. A baby is a baby; a child a child.

I do feel lucky to have 2 of each though, very lucky.

allaboutme · 18/09/2009 15:59

i've got 2 boys and feel complete now, very pleased with them actually

rosiest · 18/09/2009 16:08

I have 3ds's and people kept saying to me 'are you trying for a girl' and still do say that now!! I wouldn't have minded a girl but don't need one and am more than happy with my boys
some people are funny. one person said to me 'are you disappointed?'

SamMitchell · 18/09/2009 16:09

I was delighted to have a girl after having a boy. I did / do feel very much complete. I dont know how I would have felt having a second son - delighted, obviously, but would I have always felt that little pang of regret at not having a DD? Hmmm...

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 18/09/2009 16:16

I have 2 sons. Always knew I only wanted 2 kids, and our family now feels complete. Not disappointed at all with having a 2nd boy.

I think it's really sad that some people feel they have to have one of each to feel "complete". I still get asked when I'm going to have another, so I can have a girl this time. FFS !!

I think we should all be grateful for whatever sex our babies are, not everyone is so lucky.

readyfornumber2and3 · 18/09/2009 16:23

I think its seen by lots of people that 1 of each is "the perfect family"
I have a 3 yo ds and 6 week old boy/girl twins.
If I am out with just the twins, alot of people comment about how I "did a good job" having 1 of each at the same time and now I dont need to do it again lol, I also get told I am clever for having 1 of each (like I could have chosen lol)

I am happy to have a daughter but would have been equally happy if I had ended up with 3 boys.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 18/09/2009 16:28

I would much rather have two the same sex (maybe because I do)

I do know people with boys though who hanker after a little girl, I find it a bit odd TBH but thats just me

SamMitchell · 18/09/2009 16:56

I dont get the 'arent you clever?' thing?! I get it a lot, too. Totally odd.

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/09/2009 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

YouLukaStunning · 18/09/2009 17:11

Don't spend any more time dwelling on this. You will feel exhilarated with your baby regardless of the sex. the 'completeness' may come when you feel that you have 'completed' your family, whether it is after this baby, or another one, or two.
Or it may all be a load of balls.
Congrats on your pregnancy

DiplodocusDeb · 18/09/2009 17:26

I have one of each but wouldn't have minded if dd had been a boy.

People have said to me I am lucky to have one of each, some think it's the ideal.

Curlygirly · 18/09/2009 17:54

I have 2 ds's and then had dd. When she was born everyone made comments about 'now you have your girl.'

It was never about having a daughter but about really wanting 3 dc and would truely have been happy with 3ds.

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