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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask my hubby to get rid of his beard?

20 replies

whizzylala · 13/09/2009 21:40

I hate it.
He knows I do but says he likes it.
Why oh why, it doesn't look nice, it is horrid to kiss and it has been there too long.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

OP posts:

TrillianAstra · 13/09/2009 21:43

YANBU.

Beards are horrid.

But - if he asked you to change your hairstyle or similar, how would you feel? Would you do it?

SazzlesA · 13/09/2009 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

groundhogs · 13/09/2009 21:46

YANBU, beards are awful... tell him they really make a person look 15 years older than they really are.... LOL!

alicet · 13/09/2009 21:46

I am totally 100% with you in this.

Dh always threatening to grow a beard. I bought ugg boots last year which he hates as much as I hate beards and he had always threatened to grow one if i did.

I called his bluff and said 'if you really want to make yourself look like a twat I can't stop you'.

he didn't. i was glad as if he had i would probably have sold them on ebay!!!

groundhogs · 13/09/2009 21:47

LOL, a person??? of course a MAN.. Dur!

alicet · 13/09/2009 21:48

Agree with the age thing groundhogs!

Also told him he didn't need a beard to look old and distinguished (wtf like a person in their 30s needs this) as now we had 2 small children he looked haggered enough!

Lilymaid · 13/09/2009 21:49

DH had a beard for 20 years - grew it on a mountaineering trip and never shaved it off. He decided finally that he would shave it off when we relocated/changed job. He later told me that he wished I'd told him years before what a pillock he looked with a beard (I did, but he obviously didn't want to hear!)

Yikess · 13/09/2009 21:49

DH said he would grow a beard whilst I was pregnant and shave when I had the baby. I put him straight on that one - he can move out and when hes shaved he can move back!! I say If he didnt have a beard before he cant just grow one regardless of what he wants ... you could threaten to not shave your legs and armpits... and see if he likes that!

usedtobeme · 13/09/2009 21:50

My dp has a beard. I don't love it. BUT he gets a really sore face shaving everyday and this is his way round it.

We are getting married next month and i asked him to shave it off but he is meeting me half way (taking most off but leaving a bit on) I think he feels naked without it because he has had it sooo long.

Not nice to kiss tho...

Quattrocento · 13/09/2009 21:50

I think you've been remarkably tolerant in actually marrying a man with a beard. But I think you should stop with the tolerance thing and tell him you will divorce him unless he shaves it off.

choosyfloosy · 13/09/2009 21:52

NOOOO learn to love the beard, tis like snogging a teddy bear - in a good way

dh sometimes clean shaven sometimes bearded - tis diverting

admittedly i draw the line at a solo tache

HecatesTwopenceworth · 13/09/2009 21:56

Be careful what you wish for.

My husband had a moustache. I thought I didn't like it. It took me years but I finally persuaded him to shave it off.

BIG mistake! He just doesn't look like him without it. I wish he'd grow it back but he's decided he likes it and it's been a good couple of years now and he still is hairless. I still don't like it.

I may draw on him with permanent marker when he falls asleep tonight.

thesecondcoming · 13/09/2009 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookielove · 13/09/2009 22:16

my dad has a lovely beard, been there all my life, i think it really suits him and my mum likes it to, it doesn't age him infact he doesn't even look his age 'go dad'.

dp doesn't have a beard but doesn't shave often thank god, he kinda has an on off goatee thing going on and i really like him hairy, he looks to young and stupid clean shaven although i liked hime like that a few years ago

ellceeell · 13/09/2009 22:17

I went out with a bearded man for nearly 7 yrs. I liked it, it was part of him. Two weeks before we got married he met me with it shaved off and I was appalled! I nearly called off the wedding and it really felt as though I wasn't marrying the man I thought I was marrying.
Since then he's grown it again, shaved it off, just had a moustache - just about every permutation. I still like it best when he has a beard. All these people predjudiced against beards!
We've been married for twenty seven years now, so it can't be that bad.

Sidge · 13/09/2009 22:25

My usually clean-shaven DH grew a beard whilst he was on summer leave as it was his chance not to have to shave every day. I told him I appreciated it was a pain in the arse to shave daily but could he compromise and shave every 3-4 days maybe?

Nope sez he, no shaving for my whole leave period.

So he grew a disgusting thing that looked like 2 ferrets arguing on his face.

I witheld sex until it had gone.

Fair trade I reckon.

blueshoes · 13/09/2009 22:45

Some men can look nice in a beard.

Original poster

whizzylala · 14/09/2009 08:13

OP again here!
It was not there when I married him, I hate facial hair so wouldn't have looked twice! This is the last six months since we went on holiday and he couldn't be bothered to shave - fair enough.
I have thought about it the other way, I am pretty sure that if for example I cut my hair short and he said he really didn't like it and that he didn't like kissing me with it I would grow it back!
I don't think he would care that it makes him look older TBH, i don't mind that, it just makes him look so scruffy, I am ashamed going out with him. It really does not suit him at all. All his friends who know him well find it amusing and have said so but nothing seems to deter him.
It is actually beginning to get me down now.
SCREAM

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 14/09/2009 08:18

There's no excuse for not having a well trimmed, get some proper clippers.

Dh has a goatee and it's properly trimmed and very sexy (hides his weak chin).

They don't have to look scruffy.

LadyoftheBathtub · 14/09/2009 08:26

Ooh I'm with choosyfloosy - my DP varies from beardy to designer stubble (his idea of shaving) and I like it, unless it's really OTT wild man of the woods style with old twigs in in etc., then he does get nagged.

But to OP, if you don't like it and it wasn't there when you met him, then YANBU. But you have to ask nicely and do it by stealth - I agree you wouldn't want him making demands about your appearance. You have to say something like "oh I miss snogging you when you'd just shaved, it was sooo sexy".

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