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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel irritated that neighbours have 'designated disabled space'...

112 replies

Southwestwhippet · 13/09/2009 15:56

in a crowded on-street parking zone when they do not have disabled badges displayed in any of their cars nor do they appear to have any disabilities?

Yes I know, I am probably BU and many people have hidden disabilites but I was under the impression to get a designated disabled space outside your house you had to be able to argue to the council that you couldn't walk any further than from your car to your front door unaided... and have disabled badges.

There is no other designated parking, cul-de-sac is a general free for all and parking is at a premium. I was bad and parked in their space on one occassion, however they were round here within 20minutes asking me to 'move out of their disabled space'. Fair enough I suppose but it seems a little unfair when they appear not to have any trouble walking.

Obviously I haven't (and won't) park in their space again as don't want to upset my neighbours but AIBU in feeling a teeny tiny bit frustrated at the apparent unfairness of it?

OP posts:

MillyR · 13/09/2009 16:14

OP, isn't you parking in their space a kind of challenge? If you had been absolutely convinced of your neighbour's need, would you have still parked in the space, even once?

How apologetic were you when they came around? Because you don't sound in your post like you feel you were in the wrong.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/09/2009 16:14

I think it is perfectly reasonable to phone the council and ask if that bay is still correctly allocated.

Obviously not ask them as that would be rude.

foxinsocks · 13/09/2009 16:14

bentneck

Original poster

Southwestwhippet · 13/09/2009 16:18

No, I have to say, I did feel very much in the wrong when they came round. I will be totally honest and say that before I parked in it I did wonder if the disabled space was still active in use, I wondered if it was a left over from the past as it is often unused for several days at a time.

However, I moved my car straight away and appologised. I did feel embarrased and bad about it. Didn't put all this in OP as didn't want to write massive post.

I have been wondering whether they are entiteled to it but I can see from this post that I really just need to MMOB as and there could be many reasons for the space. I am just being a bit cynical and unfair I think.

OP posts:

lou33 · 13/09/2009 16:21

i dont have any trouble walking, so when i came to knock on your door asking you to move your car , you may well think the same

but i have a son aged 8.5 who cant even stand up let alone take a step

so you are being unreasonable, it just smacks of a touch of jealousy that they have a permanent parking spot and you dont

but, unless i am mistaken, the disabled bay will be able to be used by anyone who has a blue badge, and needs to park in the road, not just for your neighbours

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/09/2009 16:27

I think a blue badge should always be displayed when parking in a designated disabled bay.

We always display dh's when we park in one.

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 13/09/2009 16:32

'you do have to leave your blue badge on display if you are in disabled parking space though, or you face a fine '

with on street disabled parking, noo, you don't have too. Its also unenforcable so anyone could park there. Luckily most people have manners and don't.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/09/2009 16:35

I guess we have to locally as we have controlled parking everywhere.

Stayingsunnygirl · 13/09/2009 17:44

OP - can I ask if you have ever seen any of your neighbours either driving up to the parking space or leaving it - and if so, were they displaying their disabled badge then?

Yes, their disability might not be visible and no, they don't have to justify themselves to you if they do have a disability - but it is also true that there are people who abuse the blue badge scheme, and presumeably there are also those who abuse the disabled parking space scheme. And surely it is abuses of the system that have made it so long and complicated to get a blue badge or disabled parking space, as the authorities try to weed out people who are trying to abuse the system.

Assuming the above, is it a good thing to turn a blind eye to what might be an abuse of the system? I think that the OP has a right to wonder why she never sees a blue badge - and doing so is by no means a general attack on people who do need their disabled parking space, though it seems to have been interpreted as such.

Mamazon · 13/09/2009 17:48

if they have a space then they h ave a badge. otherwise they have inherited it and therefore have no right to use it.

but my dad is most certainly disabled and has had a bay put down fro him. He however does not display his blue badge when parked outside the house as there have been a spate of people breaking into cars to steal them.

and YABU to decide they aren't disabled just because you can't see it! surely more than 5 minutes on here will tell you that

BethNoire · 13/09/2009 17:56

I would be so very surprised if anyone could get this withoput a genuine entitlement.

Consider my family- 2 asd kids, one severe enough to have run away twice in the last week (scaring me shitless)..... we don't qualify for a blue badge, the councillor even refused to discuss with me.

It would completely beggar beleif if they ahd it for a non genuine reason IME.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 13/09/2009 17:57

I am so glad my mum had her leg chopped off, it stops most people wondering what her disability is, and how lucky is she that has a wheelchair to roll about in all day.

Goblinchild · 13/09/2009 18:07

I was just thinking of the parents of ASD children who receive DLA and have blue badges.
And how infuriating and demeaning it is to constantly have people whining that 'He doesn't look disabled' As if they are scamming everything they can. People who park illegally in disabled spaces should have their cars towed. And pay a huge fine.

bodeniites · 13/09/2009 18:27

we have a Blue badge for my autistic son and we get stared at regularly for parking in disabled spaces and we always display badge it makes me so angry i want to shout oh im SO sorry if he is not disabled enough for you......in fact i have said this before having special needs child makes you hard lol

chegirl · 13/09/2009 18:50

Some people try not to leave their badge in their care outside the house because the get nicked a lot.

Some people find it very hard to walk any distance but prefer not to use an exagerated limp and say 'ooo me legs are giving me gip' in order to convince passers by that they are really disabled.

Some disabled people are big and handsome and strong looking e.g. my DH and get fecked off with people going bet he nicked that badge every time he gets out of the fecking car.

It is very hard to get a space put outside your house.

Your neighbours havent taken a parking space have they? They wouldve used one anyway, but now they are able to park nearer their house.

BUT it is not their space and if you had a blue badge you could park in it.
Could you aquire a disablility perhaps?

I remember my OH picking up my DS from school. He parked in a disabled space and a man came running out from his house and shouted at him 'have you ever heard of arthritis?!!!! I have a blue badge ' my very mild mannered OH answered 'Yes have you ever heard of Multiple Sclerosis and Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia? We have two badges' Made my DD giggle for hours.

MavisEnderby · 13/09/2009 18:59

Oh this reminds me of recently when dp,dd ds and I parked in a disabled space and dp displayed his disabled badge.He CAN walk short distances but does get very breathless.DD wears orthopaedic splints.So we got out of car and I carried dd down street and dp walked.

We got back to the car to find some ignorant f$%$$£ had left a really nasty note on the car saying they were going to report us to the Council and had taken down our car reg because "None of you looked very disabled to me".

Dp was REALLY upset and I was really .

Grrr.

YeahBut · 13/09/2009 19:01

It's so hard to get those spaces but they make such a difference to people like my mum who has progressive MS. Disabled people shouldn't have to wear great big signs round their necks detailing their conditions so that the world and his wife can see whether or not they deserve their spaces.

lou33 · 13/09/2009 19:17

this says on street parking bays must have a badge on display

Goblinchild · 13/09/2009 19:21

They need to invent a badge that can't be stolen.

magicOC · 13/09/2009 19:25

Local council actually have badge no's on some of the disabled spaces so can be used by that badge holder and no one else.

Have also seen some badges on display inside some kind of holder that was padlocked to the steering wheel. No idea where they got it, but, might help towards thefts.

Mybox · 13/09/2009 19:30

Could you ask them what the disability is?

lou33 · 13/09/2009 19:36

i do wonder why they just cant check the tax disc, which states it's a vehicle used by a disabled driver, rather than have the badge

cory · 13/09/2009 19:47

This is why I did not send in the DLA application for my dd, even though we had done all the paperwork and collected the supporting medical letters. I just couldn't bear the thought that I might get stressed into badgering her to try to look more disabled, or trying to stop her from doing what she could on one of her rare good days, for fear the neighbours were looking.

magicOC · 13/09/2009 19:49

Badges are for the holder, not always the actual car. My sister is a badge holder, but, doesn't drive so if for example she is with me I would display her badge when she was with me.

Sounds different in this case tho.

Goblinchild · 13/09/2009 19:58

That's a shame cory, especially as the DLA forms are such a complicated nightmare to fill in, and always end up making you feel dreadful after you've listed all the things your child struggles with and needs help to manage.
Put it in, access the funding and stuff the neighbours and any other judgypants you encounter! Mine's a teenager, I'm past caring how we seem to the Great and the Good.

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