to think, in hindsight, that this was a bit dodgy?

[SerendipitousHarlot]

I know I'm probably over thinking this. But it has bothered me for quite a long time.

I went to my mum's 3rd wedding last weekend. My ex-stepdad was there (the middle one) and I was standing outside having a cigarette when the DJ played a certain song that made me think about it again.

This man was my stepdad from 7-17. When I was about 11, he used to ask me to dress in my dance leotard and dance for him, to this particular song. Of course I did, because I did and still do love showing off.

I'm 39 now... and looking back - this happened on more than one occasion - it was a bit dodgy, yes?

It was always when he had had a drink. And there was never anybody else in the house when it happened. Nothing physical ever happened, and I never thought twice about it until a few years ago, when it popped back into my head.

When this song played at the wedding last weekend, while I was standing chatting to him - I really nearly brought it up.

Am I over analysing this do you think?

Very rarely see him. Weddings, funerals, that sort of thing. He's my brother's dad.

When I saw him this time though, it creeped me out. Possibly because I've been subconsciously thinking about the situation, knowing I was going to see him.

It doesn't matter, at the end of it all. I wasn't hurt or traumatised. But I will always wonder.

I think it does matter. If you are uncomfortable about these events than it casts a shadow over 10 years of your childhood spent with a person that in retrospect you don't feel could be 100% trusted.

Strange that it should rear its head after all this time.

Maybe I'm inheriting my sister's yearning for indiscriminate therapy