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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be unsure of dd having a sleepover?

12 replies

SlartyBartFast · 12/09/2009 14:13

with people down the road. they are newish to the area, there is a language barrier, although the dad is english, but until i forced myself on him, he didnt talk, or meet me in the eye.

OP posts:
susiey · 12/09/2009 14:18

I wouldn't send my child for a sleepover unless I knew the parents and family really well

so no you're not being unreasonable

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/09/2009 14:18

why would you force yourself on somebody?

SlartyBartFast · 12/09/2009 14:21

not literally force myself on him, though it did feel like it.
they keep asking
and she keeps badgering me. I thought I must get to know him.

so far i am not unreasonable.
sigh.
dh won't commit either way.

OP posts:
plonker · 12/09/2009 14:26

YANBU

I wouldn't unless I knew the parents.

It's dependant on age as well, of course. My rules for my 9yo would be different if she was 15. I think, lol.

3littlefrogs · 12/09/2009 14:27

No No No.

I would not let my child sleep over with any family I did not know very well and trust implicitly. Not to mention whether they have other people visiting, smoke alarms, safe routes out of the house in emergency etc.

And my children do have lots of sleepovers and go on holiday with friends etc, I am just very careful who I trust.

If you feel uneasy trust your instinct. Instinct is usually right. IME.

SlartyBartFast · 12/09/2009 14:36

thanks.
good point about the instinct.
shall trust it.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 12/09/2009 14:58

I am not a big fan of sleepovers full stop. They tend to be occasions for silliness, bitching and are a major headache for parents by and large. I was not inpressed to find out dd1 had watched Drag Me to Hell at one recently either

purepurple · 12/09/2009 15:02

YANBU
Resist the pressure. They are over-rated.

MIAonline · 12/09/2009 15:03

YANBU

At which other point would you happily hand your child over to practical strangers to look after for 12 hours?

Uriel · 12/09/2009 15:06

YANBU. My kids have done very few and only to people I trust.

A friend's dd saw 'Ring' when on a sleepover at 10/11!

YANBU.

ElenorRigby · 12/09/2009 15:14

YANBU I hate the thought of sleepovers and won't be sending DD or DSD on any.

Prinpo · 12/09/2009 15:17

YANBU. We've had limited experience of sleepovers, with DD1 having had one at her cousin's (close by, practically a second home for her). We're planning another couple with friends we've known for years and whom I trust absolutely. I think they're great - good experience for things like school trips later in life and good fun too. However, I would never let her go somewhere where I didn't feel fully confident in the parents. Apart from knowing they're safe, which of course is top of the list, kids get homesick at night and you need to know that they're somewhere where a nice parent will comfort them if necessary and make them feel well-looked after.

Listen to your gut. If you get to know these parents better over the next few months then you may feel happier about it but in the meantime I think your DD will have to accept that you don't know them well enough to allow it at the moment.

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