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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your friend asked about your baby in this way....?

22 replies

GYo · 11/09/2009 12:44

Friend rings you up and opens conversation (after hello, how are you etc) with:

her - "how is child?; is it asleep"
me - "no, BabyGyo is awake"
her- "damn her"

would you be upset?

OP posts:
EyeballsintheSky · 11/09/2009 12:45

Depends on the tone but a swift 'what is that supposed to mean?' wouldn't go astray. How odd...

QuintessentialShadows · 11/09/2009 12:48

Yes I would.
Did she really say "is it asleep?"

I would quite possibly figure this friendship to be a thing of the past, and move on.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 11/09/2009 12:49

Agree with eyeballs. Alot would depend on tone. Is it jokey, in which case take as joke. perhaps she is upset about something and needs time to tell you stuff, in which case it was a bit thoughtless.
it is the sort of thing I wouldn't even worry about unless you have to and already have issues with your friend.

cyteen · 11/09/2009 12:51

Surely it all depends on the friendship? If my best mate said this I would have no problem whatsoever, because we've known each other for 20 years and her love for me and my child goes without saying. If someone I didn't know so well said this, I might wonder what they meant, I might be offended, I might take it as a joke if it was clearly meant that way.

QuintessentialShadows · 11/09/2009 12:53

BUt in which case, OP would not be here posting about it? SO I reckon it is neither....

MovingOutOfBlighty · 11/09/2009 12:53

Also, when did she phone. I would really have taken it as a joke had it been 10 at night.
Definitely not a friendship breaker!

LouMacca · 11/09/2009 13:05

Agree with cyteen. I do think that it depends on the friendship, however, 'is it asleep?' is not something a best/close friend would say.

cyteen · 11/09/2009 13:17

It could have been a slip though. I get muddled up with my words all the time and have in the past referred to friends' babies and my own as 'it' in moments of confusion. Especially when I'm tired!

Morloth · 11/09/2009 13:21

Depends on tone and relationship, this is the way many of my friends and I speak to each other but I wouldn't do it outside of that circle because it is too easy to misinterpret.

slowreadingprogress · 11/09/2009 13:22

I'd think the friend had a good sense of humour and laugh. i find that little interchange really funny, is it just me?

I mean surely maybe the odd mad person might say this for real but it's highly unlikely.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 11/09/2009 13:24

Agree Slowreading - its the sort of joke I would find really funny from most of my friends. That is why I think it may just be a joke with a misplaced audience!

victoriascrumptious · 11/09/2009 13:27

"her - "how is child?; is it asleep"
me - "no, BabyGyo is awake"
her- "damn her"

ROFL. Just I snorted my tea

PuppyMonkey · 11/09/2009 13:28

I would also think it was funny/jokey. Damn kids, blardy kids etc.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 11/09/2009 13:28

I think she was joking like 'oh bloody hell we can't have a natter now.'

My childless friend is like this, and I just accept it's her way, she doesn't see kids as number one priority IYSWIM.

But I do think your friend was joking or at least didn't mean to hurt you.

QuintessentialShadows · 11/09/2009 13:29

It depends whether the friend has a child of her own or not, doesnt it? If she doesnt, then I would go with my approach further down.

TTTrouble · 11/09/2009 13:31

I thought it was quite funny too and also I thought that it could also be supportive, as in 'damn her you could really do with a rest' sort of thing. But I suppose it depends on the background.

SpawnChorus · 11/09/2009 13:32

This is how my mother talks about all my DCs. I find it quite funny, but then I know that she does actually love them...guess it might be different with your friend.

Original poster
GYo · 11/09/2009 14:09

Thanks for your replies. Good to see it from both sides. Have a tendency to be too sensitive which is why i posted to see if I was BU!

She phoned at 12pm today with a question about a historical work thing (we onece worked together).

Her tone was such that I think she kind of meant a joke (any other topic, even asking about DH in same way would have been ok) I really want to see it as joke but it just feels a step too far bur its not a one off. She has been weird with me about my baby since I got pregnant.

Sorry to drip feed but the other part of the story is here

Will probably get flamed for having not ditched this friend earlier or being to sensitve but Im ready

OP posts:
Original poster
GYo · 11/09/2009 14:14
OP posts:
Pikelit · 11/09/2009 14:51

Ishoos, innit? Not yours, hers.

victoriascrumptious · 11/09/2009 15:00

My male friend last week whilst watching dd "barking"

Friend: What's she doing?
Me: She's barking at the postman
Friend: Why does she want to do that?
Me: To scare the postman.
Friend: Have you thought of getting her seen?

NormaSnorks · 11/09/2009 15:05

Oh c'mon, she's childless, and she simply doesn't have a clue.

I still cringe when I think how I informed one of my really good friends from Uni that she couldn't bring her DS to our wedding, as it was a 'child-free' occasion. (She was the only person we had invited who had a child).

Her DS was 6 weeks old....

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