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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be fuming about this letter from school about attendance ??

155 replies

NervousNutty · 09/09/2009 18:44

Last term I had a very rude letter from school about ds's attendance. He was in yr1 at the time and his attaendance was 87%.

At the beginning of that year we had, had a holiday, which had been authorised (by old headteacher), so that accounted for 5 days. Ds was then ill several times, once with a scalp infection and virus, and then again with impetigo. He also probably had the odd couple of days here and there with sickness or bad cold/high temp etc.

I always notifed school when he was ill.

After I recieved the rude letter I was fuming and so was everyone else who had one because most people had kept their children off for genuine reasons. I was going to speak to the head about it, but so many people made appointments with her that I'd have had to wait weeks so I left it.

Ds has been back for 3 days and today came home with a letter adressed to me. This letter says that all parents have been written to, but this is a lie as not every pupil was given one.

It waffles on and on about attendance and how important it is (like i'm thick and don't know), and then basically lists a threats of what will happen if a childs attendance doesn't improve.
It also mentions that any child in the action group (which i assume ds now is) will recieve futher letters to make sure attendance targets are met.

I am so pissed off with this. If they bothered to check my other 2 childrens records they would see that their attendance is very good, so surely if I was doing it on purpose i'd keep them all off and stay in bed rather than still get 2 children up and off to school.

So basically now, if ds is ill and he has time off they are going to come down on me like a tonne of bricks.

OP posts:
cory · 11/09/2009 21:03

Our GP charges £10 for doctor's notes for children and that is charged to the parents, not the LEA. Though I have to say that our GP, who is an absolute sweetie, has often "forgotten" to charge me for dd's letters to school. Otherwise, that would have been another heavy expense for us.

cory · 11/09/2009 21:13

I do know our rotten experience with school was unusual and have to say that it turned into a totally different place once the head left. Seems the teachers were so bullied by him they didn't dare to question anything

Also have to say that dd's secondary has been very supportive. A bit unfortunate that she was singled out on her first day in Yr 8, but sure it wasn't intentional.

And they seem to have a different EWO. Dd was called into a meeting last term, but said it was very calm and sensible and they told her that they just had to put a target down to satisfy official requirements, but that they fully understood her situation.

nappyaddict · 11/09/2009 21:33

How come they charge for children's notes but not adult's ones?

colie · 11/09/2009 22:20

I know there are many children with genuine reasons for being off school and parents are upset when they receive the letters.

I feel that letters should be sent out to parents but not sure what to do or how to make sure genuine cases do not receive the letters.

1 and a half days a fortnight (someone said 87% attendance equates to being missing ) from school. So roughly a week a term, approx 6 weeks in an academic year. There is now way that would not affect a child's education.

Schools experiencing poor attendance could possibly try getting parents to attend classes about how education matters etc.

I have also worked with many children and parents whhere children had poor school attendance and action has to be taken to try and improve the attendance.

I think sending out a letter is quite obviously the first port of call.

simplesusan · 12/09/2009 00:01

I suppose this is the reason that my children's school does not give permission for term time holidays EVER under any circumstances. They probably can't be arsed to sift through files checking to see which kids have had any time off and which kids (like mine) haven't even so much as been late.

NervousNutty · 12/09/2009 12:16

Would you like a medal Susan

Collie - What would be the point in classes explaining the importance of education to someone who's child was off because they were ill ?? If they are ill they are ill, end of.

OP posts:
EvilEdnasTwinSister · 12/09/2009 13:38

I had a letter like this about my eldest DD.
At the time her school were blanket mailing all parents whose children had attendance of below 90%.

However they failed to differentiate between those who had taken holidays and those of us whose children were ill.It caused such bad feeling that the head sent apology letters to those whose children had been off sick.
My DD has Type 1 Diabetes and has missed school because of illness associated with this.

I would have been livid if they had suggested that I needed to attend a class about how her absences would impact on her education. How patronising.

Quattrocento · 12/09/2009 13:44

The letter sounds fine to me. I mean 87% attendance with no underlying serious health condition isn't great. Also by your own admission, 5 days were due to your DS being taken on holiday in term-time.

But I am out of kilter with most of MN on this. I think education is really important and would be really quite shocked about taking them out of school for holidays and stuff.

diddl · 12/09/2009 13:49

I´m "out of kilter" with you then, Quattro.

Mine only stay off when ill.
And they are never late.
Is that a bad thing?

ib · 12/09/2009 14:13

A quick question for all those who say children should never be taken away from school for holidays:

Ds has 8 cousins of a similar age. They live in 4 different countries, with different holidays. Should he never see his cousins, as any time of year would involve some children missing school? Or is maintaining a relationship with his extended family more important than the odd week of school here and there?

diddl · 12/09/2009 14:15

The holidays do´n´t ever cross over at all?

Quattrocento · 12/09/2009 14:16

Well why can't you take your DS to visit them during his school holidays?

Don't mind me. I'm just a bit of a stickler for things academic. I'm always so bemused by these posters who say well they don't do much at school. I meantersay, why aren't they doing a lot at school? Are the schools a bit crap?

ib · 12/09/2009 14:19

No, different continents so holidays don't really cross over very much at all.

Twinsmommy · 12/09/2009 14:49

Sorry - but am failing to grasp what is going on here.

If this letter has upset you so much, and you are sure it's not a general letter, why don't you just make an appointment and go and speak with the school?

So what if you will have to wait a while for an appointment?

Surely it is better to wait and then go in and discuss the facts with the people involved, rather than work yourself up into a frenzy about it online, thinking all sorts of victimisation stuff and ending up with such a negative attitude towards your children's school that this negativity eventually rubs off on your children?

Just my opinion.

simplesusan · 12/09/2009 16:22

Nervous -yes please I would like quite a big medal with "I manage to get my 3 children here on time, all the time and I work too!" written on it, though not in comic sans as that appears to upset people . Perhaps with a sticker for effort as well? and maybe a mention in assembly in front of the whole school.

foxytocin · 12/09/2009 16:29

the moral of the story, OP, is don't book another term time holiday.

cory · 12/09/2009 17:30

simplesusan Sat 12-Sep-09 16:22:06 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster

"Nervous -yes please I would like quite a big medal with "I manage to get my 3 children here on time, all the time and I work too!" written on it, though not in comic sans as that appears to upset people . Perhaps with a sticker for effort as well? and maybe a mention in assembly in front of the whole school."

Don't they do those assemblies in your dcs school then? Dd has sat through those for the last 9 years. And rewards and draws for presents and special treats for children with 100% attendance. It's very common in schools, so I'm sure if you suggested it you might get it introduced.

colie · 12/09/2009 18:03

Foxytocin- totally agree.

NervousNutty · 12/09/2009 23:25

FFS I have already said that the holiday was a one off and that as I am not psychic, I didn't know my son would then be ill alot later on.

I have had dc's in school for the past 6yrs and that was the first time I had ever taken them out for a holiday and I had good fucking reason.

So you can alll fuck off with your sanctamonious perfect parent crap.

OP posts:
juuule · 12/09/2009 23:29

I wouldn't think twice about taking my children out of school for a weeks holiday. If they are ill and need time off after that then that's just how it goes. Can't plan for illness and wouldn't deprive them of a family holiday on the off-chance that they might get ill.

Hollyoaks · 12/09/2009 23:53

The school has sent a letter to all with attendance below x%, whats the big deal? You should be pleased they are monitoring attendance and trying to make improvements. As a teacher its a complete pita when kids miss lots of time due to holidays (more so in secondary) but it does affect their education. If its due to illness, well obviously that can't be helped, but some parents keep their kids off for the slightest thing and others aren't bothered.

However, I wouldn't have sent the letter to those parents whose kids are on the sen list for a known medical reason.

Quattrocento · 13/09/2009 10:11

You asked "aibu?". I posted (in effect) yabu. Your response was:

"So you can alll fuck off with your sanctamonious perfect parent crap."

Rational stuff. I'm beginning to think MN needs a new section - "I secretly know I might be being unreasonable but only post here if you are going to support my unreasonable stance". It's not very catching as a section title, I know, but you get the gist.

foxytocin · 13/09/2009 10:21

see, it is because you are not psychic you should not book term time holidays. as for 'i had a perfectly good reason yadda yadda' of course you do.

Quattrocento · 13/09/2009 10:50

There is a serious point much further down the thread about asthmatic children "never" being able to have 100% attendance. I'd really be interested in exploring that more if possible. I just wondered if you'd had all the support you might need from the NHS on this? DD's doctors and nurses have been fabulous in terms of arranging appointments after school.

Also the school has been great in terms of briefing teachers properly, keeping stocks of spare inhalers, letting her out of athletics (which is the worst sport for her as it was undertaken outdoors surrounded by grass at the wrong time of year) etc. Also the school really supported her through the sports that she can do - she is a very sporty girl - but can't participate fully when struggling for breath.

thesunshinesbrightly · 13/09/2009 12:46

your not alone op i have had one of these too, i was told to send my child in ill even if he was dying

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