To think a little bit of help would've been nice?!

[milknosugarplease]

hiya,
yesterday i was running late to pick up the kids (im a nanny) from school (due to a projectile vomiting incident, but thats another story!) so went to the bus stop to hop on a bus to go to the school (40 min walk or 25 min bus ride)

anyway, i got on with the buggy and there was already 1 buggy and a kids bike there, was told i couldnt get the buggy in so i owuld have to either get off or fold it up, i went for the latter as i was so late, normally if i have the eldest two with me one of them holds her whilst i fold up the buggy (its a two handed fold up 1)

its a bit of a juggling act holding her and folding the buggy but if the bus isnt ,oving its do-able. anyway as soon as i got her out the buggy he sped of, i nearly fell over whilst holding her but steadied myself.

now it was clear that i was struggling to do this yet not a single person offered any help at all, there were 2 mums from the school on the bus who i have said a quick hello or nod to yet neither of them offered.
everyone did the pretending not to notice you thing.

anyway she then starts crying because im not holding her how she likes to be held, its only then, that a man on the seat with his back to me turns around to see whats going on, he sees me struggling and pushes past everyone to come to the front and help me (doubt he'll ever in his life read this but THANK U!)

as the buggy is really tricky to close (you have to kjnow how to do it iygwim) i asked him if he could hold her for me, which he obliged (he was standing up next to me holding her tight etc, i wasnt just abandoning her with him!)so i could sort the buggy out,

then a woman who this whole entire time has been sitting watching me, starts shouting and saying "why are you giving a strange man your child? your disgusting, he could take her anywhere, he could drop her or harm her you need to grow up etc etc" then a mum from school says "how do you think would like it if you were handing her off to strangerd?"

to both of them i just said "well im actually very appriciative of him helping me considering every single one of you saw me struggling and didnt offer to help"

the man then gave me his seat whilst he stood up!

now am i being unreasonable to think that it shouldnt have been this much of a saga?!

i am appriciative that he helped but he ony noticed me when she cried what about everyone else?

i do realise that people have shopping, injuries etc that means they cant get up but surely not everyone?!

i told the mum what had happened and she was perfectly happy with him holding her, so no probllem there!

woah that was long!

milk

xx`

oh milk i totally sympathise with you. what a total bitch that lady was, this just highlights what is wrong with society now. i was in the same situation struggling with my pushchair to get off the bus but nobody helped, there were able people about, but nobody. Myself, if i see somebody struggling or who needs help i am certainly the first to offer it. It makes me so mad.

What a nightmare situation. How lovely of the man to help, but then he gets made to feel like some sort of baddie for it? Shocking. I'm glad you said something to the women. I would always offer to help a lady struggling with a baby/child if I was able to.

What did that nasty woman say after you answered her milk, hope that she was well embarrassed. North london i should have known, I used to live in Edgware as a kid and grew up around N london. Just sums up LOndon really a souless place not fit for the elderly,kids or disabled just a rat race.

SW London is lovely, we all muddle along together. Though I do find teenagers/young men are the most likely to offer assistance. Given the rap this demographic often gets it still surprises me.

Nice to read a story for once about a man doing something to help! It often seems (unfairly I know) that mums on here only ever talk about men to moan about them.

Why on earth those women didn't help if they knew you from school I don't know. I don't think that would happen here (oop Noorth).

i am mainly referring to central london, the number of times iv had doors slammed in my face by 'gentlemen' shoved passed and treated as i dont exist.

I must be a rare breed of teenager then!

If I see anyone getting on the bus who looks like they're struggling, I'll offer to help. Whether it's offering to move back a few seats for someone unsteady on their feet, or hold something for a mum while she sorts her buggy, I'll do it, because of one incident.

I was getting a bus from college (visually impaired, only just started to use buses alone) and was standing up. Not being used to it, when the bus braked hard I nearly went flying. There was a tap on my shoulder and a lovely man gave me his seat. It's stayed with me since.

I remember a few weeks ago, a lady with her DD in pushchair, getting on the bus. She had a lot of shopping, so I asked if she wanted a hand, helped her sort it out etc, kept things from falling over. Anyway, a few stops later, a wheelchair user got on, this meant the lady had to move into the smaller buggy bay, and once again, I helped her, sat next to her shopping so it didn't look abandoned, and helped make sure her buggy didn't tip back. I even asked where she was getting off, as I would help her then too. Unfortunately she was going further than me, and I'd no idea where I could catch a bus back to, or I would've gone to help

But YANBU and those women are very narrow minded, not all men are child snatchers, and where could he have gone???!!!

YANBU - they were, and unbelivable behaviour if they knew you, bad enough from strangers! I've handed my PFB to several random people on buses for the same reason, never think twice about it. However, maybe because I don't live in London, whenever I've had to fold the buggy the person ocupying the buggy space has also felt guilty enough to help me.

thank you for your replies, really sad to see that this complete lack of help is not a rare occurance!

Havent seen either of the mums from school (kids went back monday) so i think they had kids in either the nursery who arent back yet or year 6 so theyve left (saw them everyday before) am so hoping that theyre nursery kids, i shll plan some remarks for next week!!

i just feel so sorry for the bloke, to be called anything other then a lovely helpful man yeaterday was horrible never mind a paedophile or child snatcher! and to just stand there and not defend himself coz he was holding her (you could tell he wanted to but refrained iygwim) was incredible!
i would love to see him again to say thank you, he shouldnt have had to go through that just for helping me!!

QS- thats horrid! so sorry you had to go through that! some people are just awful! how is your DS1?

its almost as if people are terrified of losing their seat! just a bit of commen curtasey doesnt go amiss! people are so busy and so wrapped up in their own lives that i just sometimes think they dont think of others!

i was with the eldest 2 today and helped a preg lady off the bus with her double buggy and toddler, and my eldest mindee (9) said "why do you help people off the bus!?". not a reflection of his upbringing just a sad reflection of what kids see! the mum was so grateful as if no one ever helps her, took 2 seconds to help her, its no time at all just to make things that little bit easier for someone!

im getting off on one now!

miulk xxx

MNS glad someone helped. I hope he would do the same again another time and well done to you for pointing out the shortcomings of the women who did nowt to help, and made silly comments.

QS glad the bus driver stopped for you to retrieve the shoe. It's unfortunately become a far more selfish society (and I was fully expecting you to say the people on the bus were moaning or singing 'why are we waiting' as that's the type of thing so many might do).

Morloth thanks for setting the record straight on teens in your area. As someone hundreds of miles away I'm very cut-off from city life (used to live in Sussex, easy day trips to London, but now in N Wales), and while there are some rude youngsters, I don't think there's half the likelihood of real 'trouble' types (or they're out in parts of town away from where I live, perhaps, at times when I am at home on the PC!)

YANBU and this sort of thing really pisses me off.

Recently I was struggling to get the buggy off of the train and I got the front wheels jammed. People waiting to get on didn't help me even when I said it was stuck - it was a teenage girl who helped me get off the train in the end. WTF is wrong with people?

the mouthy mother was near the school today pushicg a buggy (dont think it was her dc...anywho!) and theres a bit near the school thats unbelievable tricky to get round with a buggy-if you choose to go that way you need to lift the buggy 5 inches off the ground!!! (or just not be lazy and walk the long way!)

anyway so i spotted her REALLY struggling so i went over to offer to help (thought it might be nice for her to see what help is!) she didnt clock who i was straight away and said "ye thanks" i helped her lift the buggy up and over and she them realised who i was, the look on her face was priceless! she muttered something about "thank you" whilst going bright red, so i said (with a huge, smile on y face, a fakeish smile!)

"thats no problem, i always appriciate it when someone gives me a hand, a bit of help makes everything seem much nicer dont you think? manners cost nothing an all that"

her reply was "erm...uhhh...yeah im erm sorry, thanks" and ran away

I had a smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon

Was he going to squeeze himself and the child out through the window of a moving bus? Odd women!

Typical bloody bus driver though- I bet he was quite happy to continue slinging the bus around sending you flying instead of getting off his arse to help you sit down safely.

Almost identical story to tinkerbellesmuse. I was 40+ weeks pregnant (and huge so you really couldn't miss me) and on the way to an appointment with consultant. Was told to fold buggy up, which was fair enough as there was a wheelchair on, but I was folding it the bus lurched forward and I fell on top of it, DS1 (2) also fell. The bus was packed and guess who was the only person who helped me? Yep, the guy in the wheelchair! He held onto DS as I struggled to heave my poor enormous frame off the floor of the bus.

DS and I cried the whole way to hospital, me because of pain and humiliation, DS thankfully wasn't hurt, but shocked and scared and did any fucker give up their seat. Did they 'eck as like.

DH was apopleptic when I told him about it but on the up side I did insist on buying me a car.

What was the man going to do to child in full view of everyone anyway? Those women are loons! Rude, inconsiderate loons.