Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to NOT want to dress my ten year old daughter like a trollop?

51 replies

YeahBut · 08/09/2009 16:39

My somewhat petite dd1 (10) has finally moved from junior to pre-teen in sizes and I'm really quite depressed at what clothing manufacturers think she should be wearing. I accept that the cutesy, cutesy days are WAY behind us, but she's still a child and I don't think a child should be wearing t-shirts with suggestive slogans, crop tops, hot pants and minis. She's 10, not a pole-dancer.
For the record, I am a very open-minded, liberal, non-DM reader(!) and am not particularly prudish.

OP posts:
EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 08/09/2009 20:31

i still remember my german friend asking me why the children on the street where dressed like whores. it is a v. british/american thing

newpup · 08/09/2009 20:31

Just remembered in USA they still have Gymboree which has a great range of 10-13 girls wear. Lovely, trendy clothes that are really fashionable and totally appropriate for that age range.

Last time we went we bought jeans, tops, a denim skirt, a long cardigan that is her favourite and some shorts. I have been asked over a dozen times by friends where do they come from!

frogwatcher · 08/09/2009 20:35

A thread after my own heart. I have had the weekend from hell trying to find clothes for my very tall 8 year old and 6 year old dds. Nightmare of the biggest order. The shops were full of clothes I would be shocked to see on a young teen let alone a young child. I spent almost all my time saying 'no' and felt awful. I dont shop much and was really shocked by it. I hate Boden prices and the quality is dubious, but resort to it as it is plain simple clothes for my very tall children. My 6 year old dd would love to be in shiny polyester skin tight leggings and a skimpy polyester bright pink top that gaped to the hips on the back and had a cut out triangle on the front. She still hasnt forgiven me for not getting it for her and it was aimed at her age!!!!

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 20:54

With a tall 11 year-old, I agree. You have to shop around, and the nice stuff is invariably expensive. She likes bootcut jeans and t-shirts, likes colour and has her own (pretty sound) ideas about what looks nice, regardless of fashion. We get a bit from Next, a few bits from the Fat Face sale and would probably shop in Gap more if there was one nearby or it was online. I've just got her two nice women's size 8 hoodies in outdoor shop sales.

WidowWadman · 08/09/2009 21:09

As a former goth I'm laughing at the idea that they show somehow less pale flesh. Stockings and suspenders under Skirts short enough to show of the suspenders were the norm in these days. One of my favourite outfits at the time was a very short PVC dress with lacing in the back all the way down, exposing my knickers (if I was wearing some at the time). I was over 18 with these outfits, though.

Whilst I totally agree about not wanting my underage daughter to dress like a hooker, I still have to say be careful what you wish for

mrshibbins · 08/09/2009 22:22

DSD 8 has been flouncing and stropping and whining for those shoes (aren't they truly appalling). the only clothes she likes are of the hooker variety. awful. i blame bratz, hannah montana and high school musical. We have banned disney channel from the tv and shoes with any kind of heel from her feet until she's 16.

Original poster
YeahBut · 08/09/2009 22:28

Thing is, it's not been so much of an issue for us until she had her last growth spurt. She's the shortest in her class and some of the girls in her peer group reached the same clothing stage when they were about 7 or 8!! I just wish there was some kind of happy medium between ridiculously juvenile and 18 year old raver.

OP posts:
twirlymum · 08/09/2009 23:06

OshKosh is great, stocked up when we were in the States!

plonker · 08/09/2009 23:25

My God those shoes are grim!

Who on earth would buy those?!!

I have 3dd's. My eldest is 9. She does like to wear trendy clothes but the limit of which is usually a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt. She very often wears shorts and t-shirt with bright stripy tights under the shorts, this kind of look

I buy most of her clothes from next and vertbaudet although she has got some treasured (?!) items from Tammy.

Dd2 is totally uninterested in fashion and is happy for me to choose
She generally wears jeans/joggers and a t-shirt as she is an outdoor girl and loves climbing/digging etc so likes to dress comfortably.

Dd3 is 2 so she has no say in the matter

PeedOffWithNits · 08/09/2009 23:39

Oh I agree - DDs are 7 and almost 10 and I will NOT buy any of that crap stuff

parents bleat on about how quickly their kids grow up, then rush out and buy them hooker clothes, its bonkers - if no one was buying it it would not be there

jewellery and nail varnish on 2/3 yr olds is also well tacky IMO - neice of 4 is always in nail varnish, and will be wanting to go out in full slap at age 10 - girls can still look so pretty at this age without loking like mini adults, too sexualised

I also HATE the way HSM is marketed at kids as young as 6, Bratz are hideous full stop and I have had a devil of a job recently finding PJs which were NOT HSM/Bratz/Barbie

and don't get me started on those cute/sexy slogans

I will not buy ANYTHING which requires people to read a slogan on DDs bum

Fimbo · 08/09/2009 23:54

I hate hate hate New Look (well apart from their £10 jeans for me and their plain bootlegs for dd), but dd loves it. I have tried to guide her gently tell her the quality is crap. She is 11. Have discovered she can fit into an xs in Uniqlo, so have bought her some plain t-shirts and also quite a nice jacket with the added bonus that they were in the sale.

She also likes that --other== horrid place, gothy type place - Punkfish

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 23:55

Oh I hate the clothes aimed at little girls these days, I have 2 ds's but I recently saw a girl about 9 (?) in micro shorts and a string vest applying lipstick as she teetered along in high heels the mother was with her and said "Now darling what did i tell you too much lipstick will make you look slutty" I just stopped in my tracks and looked at the mother in disbelief. Turned to dp and said "she wants to teach her the same thing about too little clothing"

DP just pushed ushered me away.

Fimbo · 08/09/2009 23:55

Punkyfish

MissSunny · 09/09/2009 00:07

Message withdrawn

nappyaddict · 09/09/2009 00:08

MissSunny

Just wondering why you don't like denim jackets, skinny jeans, body warmers or leggings? I would have thought they were quite practical. Now if it was hot pants, halternecks, spaghetti straps, boob tubes, crop tops and mini skirts for example I could understand.

BonsoirAnna · 09/09/2009 07:36

You can use the IKKS "looks" as inspiration for putting together suitably covered up but fashionable outfits from lesser brands though

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/09/2009 09:11

Another overwhelming vote for YANBU. Our dd is eight, average height but very thin. Her greatest wish over the summer was a pair of shiney leggings that she saw in Zara. They were truly foul and not too great for vag health.
If I wanted her to look like a bargirl, I'd buy her bar girl clothing. Luckily she doesn't know who Hannah Montana is or she'd want a t.shirt with her face on it. I really don't like patterened clothing, apart from stripes and I refuse to buy anything with sequins or glitter on.

Original poster
YeahBut · 09/09/2009 09:50

OK then, if so many of us feel the same way, why is all this tat in the shops? Grrrrrr!

OP posts:
sorky · 09/09/2009 10:01

I don't think they do dress as mini-adults. I personally have never seen anyone out shopping, aged 35, in a cropped HSM top, and titchy rara skirt covered in diamante's.

There again, I don't live near Jordan and her ilk.

The clothes aren't adult imo, otherwise they'd wear a nice warm coat over the top

It's porn clothing and when we buy it we perpetuate the early sexualisation of children as okay.

As long as I'm buying the wardrobe, I have the last say. Furthermore if she is gifted anything that looks inappropriate it goes straight to the charity shop with the tags attached.

LilMissPerimenopause · 09/09/2009 10:12

No YANBU, I too have had the same issues with girls clothes. I never had a problem getting clothes for my eldest DD (12 nxt wk) until she moved to pre-teen sizes then surprise!
all I could find in my local shops were teenage hooker type clothes.

She was only 10!! Why would I want to dress her like a bloody hooker?? I buy a lot from
H&M and Next.

nappyaddict · 09/09/2009 12:20

kreecher do you not like spots or checked things?

StillOverHere · 09/09/2009 12:44

Fear not everyone, Johnny B. is coming to the rescue in the spring with his new "Tween" Boden line, apparently!

GoldenSunset · 09/09/2009 13:00

"I will not buy ANYTHING which requires people to read a slogan on DDs bum "

Had me LOL, dh also laughed when I told him as well - we agree with your sentiment completely PeedOffWithNits

petnik · 09/09/2009 13:04

Check out Vertbaudet. They have some really stylish stuff.

nappyaddict · 11/09/2009 17:13

PeedOffWithNits or anyone else what age do you think is ok for nail varnish and jewellery then?