To find it infuriating when DH gives DS his tea?

[SansSerif]

DH has offered to give DS his tea tonight. DS is a fussy eater. On offer was chicken & sweetcorn both of which DS will eat.

DS had one mouthful and then asked for yoghurt (no problem if he had had enough).

DH gave him the yoghurt (fine) but then made him spaghetti on toast afterwards.

AIBU to be annoyed that DH has done this? He knows I usually offer DS one option (and I don't withhold pudding) but not a new meal if he refuses!

Or should I just relaaaaax?

I would withold sex for a month. That'll learn him.

I don't know. I find children meals very stressful. You should probably relax but I know it would wind me up too.

One solution might be to leave the kitchen and come back when the meal's been eaten/cleared. As long as you don't see what goes on and you don't have to feed your DS...

my dh wouldn't even notice if the dc's were crawling along the floor too weak with hunger /thirst even when i was in hospital having dd i had to get my parents & sister to check up on DH that he had fed the other dc's
so i guess im saying relax & enjoy your dh cooking for ds

I have no idea if this is going to work, I'm trying to link to another mumsnet thread.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/819965-If-it-was-your-husband-I-just-saw-in-the

Your OH does things differently to you, the child will cope. Or you can just choose to do everything yourself, so that it's done properly to your satisfaction.

I don't even look when my DH feeds my DDs some of the combos they eat are crazy and gross (imo)! but they are his concern I wouldn't like someone hovering around checking the way I fed them....
did you discuss this with your DH in the past?
I would just chill my dear ... I say use anon's suggestion like me and just don't look!

Like when you come home after a weekend away and they are wearing odd clothes, look on the grubby side, have had random bedtimes and eaten unusual combinations of foods.
But are happy and have enjoyed the change.

LOL@Goblin exactly!

So are you saying that as a parent your way of doing things is right, and your DH's isn't

You are all right, of course... I do worry about ds endng up on freaky eaters but will try to stop being such a control freak worrier and enjoy the extra mn time

YABU. Relax.

i think its natural to feel frustrated when dp doesn't partner as you do but its good to let them parent there way i would hate dp moaning about how i choose to parent because im not doing it his way

From a male point of view YABU but from mine YANBU - sooooo annoying. Kept telling my DH tonight it was the kids' bedtime (and school tomorrow) but oh no, they HAVE to finish their game first (and doesn't wind it up quickly like I would have!!!)...grrr...

I too would feel frustrated by this but as a mum of an extremelt fussy eater I would say they'll probably be fussy whatever you do... I sit there stressing and trying to work out what 'strategy' will make him eat but nothing we do makes a jot of difference.

I have to admit to picking and poking at the way dh feeds ds sometimes as it's not exactly how I do it but I need to chill, I think it's just a vent for the stress of them not eating iyswim. A need for control over the problem...

So really what i'm saying is, just enjoy the fact you don't have to feed him for once

Lol I have got over myself now thanks for all your replies anyway!

I agree with your OP. Firstly my children wouldn't be given yoghurt after only one mouthful. If they complained they were still hungry they would be given back the original meal. I wouldn't be making them a new one!

I often find it easier to walk away or try not to listen to the way DH does things. I think I'm right as I spend more time with DD to know and understand her, but I've realised that what's right for me may not be right for DH, and as long as we agree on the main things it's fine. I've found this even more so with grandparents, my DH and I weren't spoiled in anyway, but they all spoil DD at every available moment. We both agree on that!

I wonder if this is one of the times where single parents nod wisely and say that it's easier when there's only one person setting all the rules.

Nope, definately not easier. We don't have anyone to back us up or support us.

Goblin I often think so. I get to do it all my way

YABU. Be grateful that your DH takes an active involvement in the child care. Parenting can so often be a one sided affair.

I don't think anyone should feel grateful that their children's father feeds them once in a while. They are his children too you know. He's not doing you a favour.

MaMight that reasoning works both ways - you could also argue that an individual shouldn't be complaining when their father assists during meal times. After all he should be involved.

YANBU

I'm with MaMight, I am always surprised that there is an under current of gratitude when a father does something, no matter how badly, lazily or without any thought to agreed parenting.

And why not complain, if the actions of one parent will effect the other and also how the children perceive each parent and, in this case, food.

Don't understand the put up and shut up approach

He's a parent too. He's not done anything wrong. Just speak to him and sort it out like two parents if it irritates you that much.