to think that DH should smoke outside

[upsylazy]

I gave up smoking 5 years ago after god knows how long of a 30 a day habit. DH has managed to stop easily in the past but seems to find it impossible to do it again. I told him last new year that, after Jan 1st, I was going to ban him to the garden if he wanted to smoke. He agreed to this and assured me he was going to give up anyway. He lasted about 3 days and has been back on them ever since. He smoked in the living room the whole time I was pregnant with DS2 who's now 15 months while I was sitting next to him. When I brought up the issue a few days ago, he got really stroppy and went on about the fact that I take too many headache tablets (which I probably do) but I told him it's not the same thing - He doesn't have to put up with passive Solpadeine taking and they don't smell. I'm generally a live and let live kind of person but I'm sick of the whole house stinking of smoke and not being able to watch tv without feeling like I'm sitting in a pub before the smoking ban. I know he'd never dream of smoking around another pregnant woman but it was fine to do it round me for 9 months. It's not a moral high ground issue, I genuinely hate the smell and,although he waits until the kids are in bed, the smell still drifts upstairs and Ds2 has a really hacking cough at the moment. AIBU?

My DP has smoked for years. He smokes outside, whatever the weather, I don't want my kids being in a smoky environment at all.
It's not fair, I think he is being a bit selfish and stubborn too.

Just stick to it, some things are worth being assertive about. Good luck!

Maybe print this and then reiterate the information every time he lights up inside.

My own parents smoked a lot inside but decided to stop because my little brother had a constant runny nose and very frequent ear infections. I myself had really bad allergies which the smoke didn't help. Your DH is a parent, he shouldn't willingly make your little one ill.

Hello, I have a 6 yr old who is asthmatic. I never smoked in pregnancy. When i had my son i took up smoking but have never smoked around him always outside in the rain or snow with a coat on shivering.

One particular day my DS had an asthma attack he was about 2. At the hospital we were questioned about who smokes in the house and i said i smoked outside. The doctor told us that it made no difference and that the smoke lingers on the clothes resulting in an attack.

I have not touched a cigarette since and people who come to my home know not to smoke in my home anyway but they also put on a 'smoking jacket' to wear outside an idea given to me by my HV.

YANBU.

But on the other hand, if it is his house as much as your house then you have to come to an agreement about it, you can't just decide to lay down the law.

Is he quite old? I'm wondering if it is a generational thing that used to be thought okay and now most people wouldn't even consider smoking inside (including plenty on this thread who don't smoke inside their own homes).

Show him this thread and tell him:

HE'S A SELFISH TWUNT WHO IS DAMAGING HIS CHILDREN'S HEALTH.

TA... my dad smoking around me used make me cough and if i complained he'd laugh and blow smoke in my face... sounds hideous with todays knowledge but back then everyone smoked around their kids and nobody knew any better so in his eyes it was no worse than if i'd complained about his music and he'd turned the volume up louder. However even he, knowing what is known these days, does't smoke around my kids, even in his own home he goes outside or into the utility room if the kids are about

The harmful chemicals from fags linger for 2 hours on clothes and in the air apparently. Horrible things around children fags, as an ex smoker the stink of them now makes me wretch.

YANBU - he is being a selfish arse imo.

YANBU.

DP is quite a heavy smoker but would never dream of smoking in the house even though before he moved in here with us he smoked inside in his own flat.

He actually prefers the fact everything he owns now doesn't stink and was really disgusted when all his stuff came his flat to our house as it highlighted how much cigarettes really permeate everything.

He is being very selfish and really that's just not an option when you become a parent. You have to take second place.

YANBU, I am a dedicated smoker, I started at 12 and have just celebrated 33 glorious years of it. I did smoke throughout my pregnancy, BUT, I have never smoked inside my house/flat since she was born. DD knows that I do and urges me to stop, I know that I have zero willpower and hypnotherapy doesn't work on me - I clearly don't want to stop. But, to reiterate, I dont' smoke around her and won't. So, to recap, YANBU

YANBU I went through a battle with dh long before the dcs came along. He used to smoke in the lounge, then I whinged and he said he would stop, went through a cycle with him going outside then coming back, when friends were round or it rained, then me whinging.. Eventually got him just to smoke in the bathroom with the window open, and finally booted him out completely. He now smokes in the car, which is annoying, but a bit better. He sits in there with a book, the engine running and the heating on
I will get him out of there too.

My dh also hates being told what to do (they are kids aren't they) so I am very patient and we discuss. 'I feel really unhappy about you smoking in the house because...' 'Do you think it would be better for the kids if you didn't smoke inside?' etc..

Whoisasking - I guarantee to you, hand on heart, that life is better without smoking. Even if you love it now, even if it is part of you, even if you can only imagine that life as a non-smoker just means constantly surpressing cravings - I promise you deeply honestly and sincerely that you will be happier as a non-smoker than you were as a smoker and you will not feel you have given anything up at all .

get a baby's bottle and fill it with some sort of syrup (the darker the better, so it looks like tar) then give it too him and tell him that this is what he is filling your dc lungs with, by smoking around them.
we use this with young parents and it seems to work well, as it's something visual, they seem to take the info on board more.

YANBU - from an ex-smoker who is SO glad to have given it up and for the smoking ban to be introduced.

My mum still smokes and I will only let her smoke in my kitchen (with the extractor on) but my problem is when DS (now 12) is at her house. She used to go into another room to smoke - not ideal, but better than nothing - but recently he stayed the night while me & DH were at a wedding, and when he came home the next day he stank of smoke. Not just his clothes, his hair etc. He also said that he could taste it at times!

It's a very sensitive subject for her and I don't want to rock the boat - it's her house etc - but I do think its out of order. How my dad puts up with it I don't know!

Another YANBU here, and from an outdoors (occasional)smoker too.

My family all smoke, but when we have a get-together, even if it's being held in one of their houses, they ALL up-sticks and go outside to smoke, leaving the children inside.
(I don't smoke around the family so I stay in too)

Me and my DH both smoked (never whilst prg) outside and with a smoking coat and only at night until 3 weeks ago (yey to me and DH). We desided when preg with DS1 that they were more important than our warmth and confort. Why should your child have to endure bad health just to be have his own way and make his selfish point. Unless you shut the door and block off the bottem with a draft thingy or towel its going to go upstairs. Get strict with him for the sake of your kids, put them first not him and his possible bad moods

Oh and the baby bottle thing, just put some cigs in there, poor on some hot water leave for a while shake, leave to settle and hey presto a discusting looking liquid.

Smoking in public places was banned in Ireland in 2004. I don't know of a smoker that smokes indoors now.
It has become so unacceptable.