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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to have comments/conversation with a friends DH online

13 replies

smokinaces · 02/09/2009 20:03

sorry facebook again

I am quite picky about who I add on facebook - I had a cull ages ago and deleted anyone I didnt see/speak to regularly so its all friends and family.

Got a friend request from a friends DH last night. He is friends on there with all our joint friends (theres a group of us mums) even though I have only met him twice or so I thought it was harmless enough and added him.

but he wrote a bit of a dodgy message on one of my photos and now is trying to chat to me on the chat there.

AIBU to ignore him? I cant delete him now as they will all get funny about it, but is it ok to just ignore him? He's probably just being nice, especially as friend has told him about DH leaving etc - but I dont want him to IYKWIM?!

OP posts:

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2009 20:04

ignore him. You know you can 'go offline' on facebook chat? Click on it and it's near the top.

mathanxiety · 02/09/2009 20:06

Oh yes, you will gain a jerk and lose a friend.

Callisto · 02/09/2009 20:11

Having seen all of the facebook-angst threads on here lately I've come to the conclusion that FB is the work of the Devil. I've no idea how it works as I'm an FB virgin, but why can't you just delete him 'by accident' and then just 'forget' to reinstate him?

Firawla · 02/09/2009 20:11

yes just ignore

Original poster

smokinaces · 02/09/2009 20:15

see dont want to go offline on chat as its my lifeline since ex-dh left. maybe I'll put him in his own little group and just go offline to him.

think politely ignoring is the best bet isnt it? and then pleading ignorance if I get asked!

I love facebook apart from this kind of scenario. I love sharing pictures and chatting with friends - now I've blocked all the applications its not so bad :-)

OP posts:

oldraver · 02/09/2009 20:45

Sounds slightly dodgy.. as if he's testing the water now your alone

groundhogs · 02/09/2009 23:24

sorry to say, but my mum shocked me to my very core when she told me who came sniffing round when my dad left. trust your gut feel, delete him, delete him now!

He won't kick up a fuss, especially given the dodgy comment.

Men ime are very rarely nice, of their own free volition without something in it for them. How do you think your friend would feel. Trust me, delete him! It's weird him requesting.

groundhogs · 02/09/2009 23:32

oh yeah, and change yr visibility to friends only, last thing you need are chancers and takers prowling around! Hugs.

Original poster

smokinaces · 02/09/2009 23:35

I have high privacy settings on there anyway (hiding from certain family) even photos tagged with me cant be seen by people not my friends.

think i will delete him and the comment. will see if he retries. have deleted about 20 people tonight for a different reason, so can always plead ignorance.

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 02/09/2009 23:44

i was sure you coudl delete without people knowing?

mathanxiety · 03/09/2009 05:28

The normal rules of politeness don't apply on FB. You don't have to feel bad about dropping him. He will keep on trying everyone he knows until he finds someone too polite to say no.

sandcastles · 03/09/2009 06:11

If you don't want to delete him, put him on limited profile!

diddl · 03/09/2009 06:44

YANBU.
I had a FB "cull" recently-I deleted the whole thing!

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