to not be interested in this man?

[hatesponge]

Friends are trying, in the nicest way, to get me together with someone.

On paper we have a lot in common, similar age, jobs, both single parents with shared custody of DC around same ages.

He is financially solvent (well off in fact) own house and car, etc.

He's a really nice bloke, I know he thinks I'm very pretty and charming - he has told other people this.

BUT - theres alway a but, isn't there - I don't fancy him at all. Physical attraction is really important to me, and there isn't any.

Also I think he probably is too nice for me. I don't do 'nice' men - the nicest guy I have ever had a relationship with was lovely, but sadly already had a DW & DC....so that probably says something about the usual twats I end up with that he was the best

Friends views are that he is lovely, will treat me like a princess, and do anything for me. And they say the whole physical attraction thing hasnt done me very well so far, perhaps I need to try something new?

So are they right - AIBU?

if you find him repulsive then I would say definitely a no-hoper.

If he just isn't the usual type you go for then you may as well give it a try. If you think about how you make friends you wouldn't keep being friends with someone who treated you like cr*p even if there were things you had in common/ you loved their dress sense/ they had a great sense of humour. Friendships grow and at the very least you may gain a new friend.

IMO the best relationships are the slow burners initially because you are basing your attraction on things which will last, rather than looks or physical attraction which may change or fade with time.

As far as his first marriage not working out - my DH is very easygoing and I have had to train myself to back off when he is anxious about a potential argument. I suspect that in previous relationships people were not so accommodating and took advantage of his good nature to the point where even he could see it wasn't working.

I agree with QuintessentialShadows if you do agree to go out with him it should be with the proviso that from there on in whatever happens between you is just between you two.

I detested my DH when i first met him. Didn't even think he was "nice" - but arrogant. He kind of grew on me though and we have been together 10 years now.

I always went for the wanker/bastard/twat/waste-of-space type men. My son's father fit into all the above categories!!

Then I met my man who I always thought would drive me mad as he is SO nice, calm, pleasant, hates arguments (opposites of which were everyday occurrences with DS's dad) and he also never tries to dictate who I should be which was a huge "deal-breaker" for me. We're still together 6 years on and I couldn't be happier.

Give it a go, you never know. Like others have said on here, take it slowly, have a few dates. If you're still sure he's not for you you've lost nothing have you? If you don't, won't you be always thinking what if??

OK put this particular man out of the picture for a moment (he may be a nice human being, he may, as HBC says, be an inadequate buckethead who is utterly, smotheringly desperate for a relationship and anyone will do).
Do you actually want a couple-relationship at the moment? Because, you know, it's perfectly all right to be single, and if you have had a string of rubbish relationships is a very good idea to be single for a while and work out who you are and what you want.
Why are your friends so keen to get you together with this man? Are they the sort of ghastly Noah'sArk mundanes who never go anywhere without their own partners and come out in hives at the idea of an Unattached Woman in the vicinity?
However, if you have in fact been moaning to your friends about the lack of a Nice Man In Your Life and they have managed to dredge one up for you, then it probably won't hurt to go on at least one date with him - unless he really creeps you out, in which case don't spend five minutes with him. If a man really creeps you out, there is usually something wrong with him, and the niceness is a front for passive agression or worse.

I wouldn't change MY nice man for the world.
This man sounds ideal, I think you give it a go.
I agree with you, I think it is important to be attracted to your boyfriend/partner/husband, but it is also true that attraction can grow in time (happened with me) and by writing him off due to appearence you may be letting someone very special go.

Trying to make yourself fancy someone just because they are available, housetrained, solvent and not notably violent is not a good thing to do. If you;re not interested, you're not interested; why waste time and effort on trying to have a relationship you don't actually particularly want?

Completely agree with SGB. ANd I don't like this bit "will treat me like a princess" but that be just what your friends have said

Just wanted to add to this after something I've just written on another thread....we went to the pub earlier this week (sort of prequel to the black tie do) and I had a really nice chat to him. He had to go early & pick up his DC & I found myself disappointed

I think he's growing on me . Hopefully in a good way though , not like a fungus! Just to add, he doesn't make me uncomfortable - he did a bit before I found out he liked me (just because he used to find odd excuses to speak to me, which I can now understand the reason for!) Appearance wise he's still not my type, so I don't know if anything will happen in the end - but at the very least I hope I have the beginnings of a good friendship, maybe more...