Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to be annoyed that my mum always calls my son by a pet name...?

60 replies

Tigerlily1 · 30/08/2009 15:45

It is getting really irritating but I just wonder if anyone else would be so annoyed by it or is it just me.
My mum is rather obsessed with my ds and she is great with him and he loves her. The thing is she has a nickname for him and she only ever really calls him by that and she says it all the time, much more than you would really ever say a name. It's constant and I have told her and a friend of hers has also told her that it's too much. she did try to tone it down a while ago but its crept back up as i have stopped saying things but i feel it is just ludicrous that she says it so much and actually refers to him in conversations with other people, including me, as this name instead of his real name. She phones up and asks for him on the phone by this nickname and it is making my skin crawl now. oh, and when he's being slightly naughty she tries to get him to stop by using this name and is then surprised when it doesn't work.
I just feel she has a total disregard for what I say as she has been told to tone it down.
does anyone elses mother have the ability to annoy them this much or aibu???

OP posts:

Mumcentreplus · 30/08/2009 17:13

carelesswhispers · 30/08/2009 17:18

sorry tigerlily1
, YANBU , i would not like my mum calling the dc's that , i know your mum means it in an affectionate way but still

Yurtgirl123 · 30/08/2009 17:23

At home I frequently refer to my dd as (a small animal that often annoys farmers) she loves being called it but Its not something I would want other people to call her - and not something I would use out of the house!

Id tell her outright - either stop that or I will XYZ, he is my son and it really annoys me - he is your grandson but I am his mum ta very much.

Add in how much you hated it when she called you such names as a kid and say you dont want your ds to feel the same way as you did

xxxxBAMBOOxxxx · 30/08/2009 17:23

Well if she thinks she standing out as a kook what would happen if you started using piglet as well? Awful for you I know but would it take the shine off iykwim?

sheepgomeep · 30/08/2009 17:28

At least your mum doesn't call your ds sexylegs like my mil does to dd2. Ugh

I could put up with piglet. We affectionly call our dd2 piggywink but thats our name for her. I think I would be really cross if my mil or my mum called her by that nickname

so yanbu

carelesswhispers · 30/08/2009 17:34

ugh sheepgomeep , when i was 16 my friends creepy older brother used to chase me ( me running away) around their house shouting sexy-legs , it still makes my skin crawl

PrincessToadstool · 30/08/2009 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sayithowitis · 30/08/2009 18:12

Sorry, but I think YABU. My dear, dear grandma had a nickname for me that she always called me. It made me feel very special to have 'our' name. I won't say what, but it was an animal name and when I was older and working, I used to love trying to get birthday/christmas cards and presents for her with a pictorial representation of the animal. When my children were born, she referred to them by the name that is used for the babies of the animal whose name she used for me. When she died, my aunt found that everyone of the cards and presents I had ever given her relating to that name, had been very carefully stored. She had no other mementoes of anyone else at all. I now have a couple of the items that were given back to me and they have pride of place on display in my lounge. We had a very, very, close and special relationship, and a big part of that was the name.

Please don't deny your mum or your son, their special name.

TBH, it sounds to me as though you are a little bit like my mum was with my Nan and me, and that was a bit jealous because this was something between us two that she was not a part of.

ilovesprouts · 30/08/2009 18:18

me and dh call our ds piglet ,so does a couple of my close pals and chick too it does not bother me or dh ,shes not doing any harm imo yabu sorry !!

oldraver · 30/08/2009 18:23

Start calling her Nanny Goat or even Nanny Pig she'll soon shut up.. or maybe not if she pides herself on beiing 'kooky'

DandyLioness · 30/08/2009 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Tigerlily1 · 30/08/2009 18:29

its not the name so much as the frequency and volume of it. for instance when she's playing with him she'll be going 'oh piglet, no piglet, don't throw that piglet...PIGLET...stop that piglet...hey, piglet lets do some colouring...clever piglet, well done piglet...etc etc, til my ears bleed and that is like in the space of 10mins. it is also very loud and shrill. she also calls him piglet to that extent in public and she asks me how he is by asking 'how's my tiny piglet?' or 'can i speak to that piglet?' and then she comes on the phone going 'hello piggy, how's that piglet?'
do u start to get my drift???
it's like she uses it so much the word is starting to sound wrong!!!!
so, i get that they need a special bond but it's just i feel it could be varied and toned down and perhaps mixed in with his real name or even other nicknames.
nobody uses somebody's name to that extent in normal conversation so why would u use piglet to that extent?

OP posts:

xxxxBAMBOOxxxx · 30/08/2009 18:42

to install it in your ds that its 'her' special name for him, which is why I think if you started clling him piglet in front of her, it would stop her from doing it

TheLadyEvenstar · 30/08/2009 19:03

I Think YABVU.

I have 2 ds's ds1 is 11 and ds2 is 23m. Now my dad was the one for nicknames I had one, sister had one, brother as well. the first grandson had one well 2 actually and was only ever called that by my dad. Now my brother has taken over with the nicknames. DS2 is labradoodle....he has grown from being Tiny, to me he is Urch as in Urchin and i call him it most of the time.

I am glad my MUM has a nickname for both of my ds's because neither of them see their paternal grandparents.

groundhogs · 30/08/2009 19:12

i think as his mum, it's totally your decision! If you don't mind it and think it's a bit cute, like some of the other posters here, then no issue, you'd not be here asking.

He is 2.6, so young enough not to be bothered by it, but it kinda has to stop now, and as for her using it in public? How gut wrenchingly awful!
Others can say yr being unreasonable, but they either fall into the cute camp, or it doesn't bother me camp.

I suppose you could just level with her, being totally cards on table & matter of fact and tell her you personally hated it as a child, and you don't like it any more now you're older.

Say that it's actually getting to you so badly, that to be honest it's making your blood boil, and to stop a scene, his own given name, as agonised over by you and his dad is the only name you want him known by.

If she ever uses it again, in any circumstances, correct her. Continue to do so at any and everytime she uses it. She say's piglet, you say his name. If you have to correct her loudly in public, 'it's david, mum' and then call your own son over or better go over to where he is. so if she's told off in front of all and sundry, so be it, she was warned!

Grandparents are exactly the same as toddlers, you have to be consistent and firm!

Really feel for you, that would bug the shit out of me, and i've never had a nickname!

piscesmoon · 30/08/2009 19:30

It wouldn't bother me-it sounds the sort of name that the DC will grow out of eventually. My father used to get called lambykin when he was small-he was the one that put a stop to it as too embarrassing! You actually have no control over what people call your DCs. My DS gets called a nickname by most people-I totally ignore it and call him his name. Just ignore her-she will grow out of it.

Original poster

Tigerlily1 · 30/08/2009 21:09

Thanks for all your posts. Groundhogs - love that thing about grandparents being the same as toddlers, consistent and firm is what I think I have to become! My dh does actually say this quite a lot, I need to tell her the boundaries and spell things out more - i don't know, maybe I just think I shouldn't have to and her mother's intuition should tell her when things are annoying but it really doesn't, in this case or other situations, she is just oblivious.
Dandylioness - sorry about your childhood affliction! That is probably the sort of card my mum would love to send if she got half the chance.
I used to actually join in and call him piglet when it first started, and it was cute and an occasional nickname but the fact is it has taken over and she just calls him nothing else. So, I don't think me calling it him too is the answer to be honest, she'd just think it was ok and then if I said anything I'd get 'well, YOU call him it too!'.
To be honest in many ways it is like dealing with a younger sister than a mother, not down to my choice but more her behaviour and the relationship over the yrs. I'm probably slightly more sensitive because of this.
Think I will just have to say something calmly before it gets to the point where i blow my top at her. It's difficult though, she doesn't like to be questioned or any sort of criticism/difference of opinion!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tigerlily1 · 30/08/2009 21:16

Btw, I am now starting to feel awfully guilty about talking about my mum like this!! Obviously there are loads of good things about her but sometimes with families you just forget about that when they are really doing your head in!!

OP posts:

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 30/08/2009 21:34

YANBU at all. If she calls and asks to speak to Piglet, tell her there is nobody there of that name and tell her X is available.

That would totally wind me up. So don't feel bad that is annoys you

fandango75 · 30/08/2009 21:39

Nanny Pig - very funny that made me laugh

colditz · 30/08/2009 21:40

He has arelationship with his grandmother that is, although slightly odd, loving and harmless.

Be grateful.

lucky1979 · 30/08/2009 22:55

I wouldn't be happy with someone calling my DC that as it has other implications and could be taken as an insult, it's quite undermining. He's not going to pick up on it now as he's too small but he will if she keeps it up.

Ask her not to do it (probably best to do it face to face and not just after she's spent an afternoon doing it and your wound up!), then keep on telling her whenever she does it.

Plus, if she's calling you Piggy (has that developed since the piglet thing or was it her name for you before?) then she definitely needs to knock it off, it's insulting. I'd be livid if my mum took to calling me that

Alambil · 30/08/2009 23:40

My dad calls my DS Fred - his name doesn't even begin with F...!

I love it; I think it gives them a special bond and funnily, he only responds to it when Grampa says it... it's sweet

If it's rude or a put-down, then perhaps she could change it, but if it's just another name, I'd let it slide

ravenAK · 30/08/2009 23:50

I think you'll find he starts taking exception himself soon enough & it dies a natural death!

Friends of mine have adopted a 'babyish' version of ds's nickname (eg. he's Richard, we sometimes call him Dick, they & their dc call him Dicky-dick, sort of thing).

Ds has taken to making it abundantly plain that 'Dick' is just about acceptable from immediate family but never, ever 'Dicky-dick'!

Friend have cottoned on swiftly, their dc has still to be reminded regularly but ds is winning - 'I'm not going to talk to you if you call me that, it's silly'

I suspect your ds will quite soon put his gm right re: piglet.

MrsMerryHenry · 30/08/2009 23:52

You do sound incredibly unreasonable from your OP but I wonder whether there are other things going on which are making you more sensitive towards your mother than just this nickname.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread