to feel a little disheartened about this?

[crazylizzy]

ok, so nothing major, but I've recently noticed how sometimes little effort parents put into dressing their kids for other kids parties?

Back in the day, our mums would dress us in our best dresses, matching ribbons, tights, newly polished shoes, do something pre-planned with our hair (tiny plats all night, leaving a crimped look, oh man - retro), but now all I seem to see are trainers, jeans and a top, and that's just the girls

Last week my kids were invited to a 5th birthday party, as were my friends kids, she offered a lift, and at picking us up, I noticed her kids still in their gym kit (tracksuits and trainers), I commented if they'd just come straight from the lesson and my friend answered no, the class was earlier that afternoon, and they'd come from home.

AIBU to feel disheartened about how times change and still send my kids to birthday parties in their Sunday bests?

Sheepgomeep - please don't feel sad. I think this thread is more about nostalgia for the pretty party frock days than criticism of anyone's parenting.

And probably, back in the party frock and mary janes days, there were mums muttering about how much better it had all been when you had to wear a farthingale or a bustle...

Getting dressed up is a way of showing respect for the person who is throwing the party, getting married etc. It shows that this is not just a normal day but marks a special occasion. Lavish parties, trips to soft play seem to have become so ordinary and taken for granted that nobody is impressed by them anymore.

My DD has never done the party dress and ribbons thing but I certainly make sure she is turned out nicely with her best clothes. Never something like a tracksuit.

Is it snobbish to try and look your best for an occasion? No. And it´s not about criticising parenting either.

dc's will wear smart for weddings/parties for elderly relatives (ds in linen shirt and 3/4 length trews and ubiquitous converse.. dd in some sort of dress/silver shoes)

But parties.. DS wants to wear his latest Ben 10 alien force t shirt, and dd will wear a tshirt leggings and denim skirt... all clean but perhaps not the smartest.. but I really don't expect to be judged on it.

Am snurking a bit at ribbons in hair.. do girls (dd is 5) really still do that?

Dc's have a tracksuit for sport.

Jeans and shorts (ds) and jeans/skirts with leggings combo are the norm

I have had to bribe my 8 year old to wear a dress for two weddings in October. In exchange for one small Playmobil set and complete autonomy on choice of said garment she will wear the dress without complaint and have pictures taken in it whilst smiling happily. Hair will be groomed (for a change) and hairbands worn.

I shot myself in the foot by stating that I had autonomy on the choice of store (Monsoon - that way I knew she wouldn't end up with a black dress) and she chose a £65 dress that's undeniably beautiful, but my god...I've never spent that much on a dress before!

Luckily, I've managed to downgrade to M&S for the cardi (in the sale) and I'm battling over footwear. She wants Skecher style trainer shoes, I want ballet pumps with sparkles. We have yet to complete that battle.

In terms of parties, however, she will generally wear jeans and a tee shirt. So I think YABU for kids parties but YANBU for weddings, which are much more formal and deserve a much more formal response!

slightly off-topic, but it's sometimes the adults who don't put in any effort (for the record, for kids messy parties it's casual clothes all the way here). at our wedding blessing my SIL wore what is charmingly referred to back home as a Canadian tuxedo (but this was over here). Granted we did have our handfasting outside on a headland, but most of our guests made an effort and still wore lovely outfits. She showed up in trainers, jeans, and a jean jacket.

I buy second hand gorgeous dresses for my DDs (Next, Monsoon etc) and get loads of hand-me-downs (barely worn, wonder why ) and the kids go for jeans and t-shirts every time because they can have more fun. I put one of them (4yo) in a party dress for a family do and she was weeping to put her leggings on. I thought WTF? Who am I doing this for? It's not sad at all. It is sad to prissy little girls up to impress other mothers. I am not saying you are doing that and I do meet the occasional little girl who actually likes all the flounces - most of our kids friends are still into climbing and having fun.

I used to make a point in telling parents to put in old clothes-party clothes are very restrictive. I might have felt differently if I had DDs but I will never know!

I think it is nice to make the effort for parties, but agree that dresses are not always practical. My DDs wear pretty party dresses to parties that are held in the village hall type events, but for soft play parties I tend to do leggings and a very pretty top (monsoon type top). Dressy enough to look as though you've made the effort, but the leggings are very practical for soft play.

Cripes! I remember being sent to parties dressed to the utter nines - horrid bolero over posh frock and patent leather T-bar shoes. We acted like utter hoydens and I remember (even at my young age) thinking how pointless this dressing up was. So when I had my dc, I was determined not to waste money on "best" clothes unless there were a number of occasions coming up which would warrant parading about in finery. I cannot, it has to be said, think of many birthday parties where casual clothes weren't the most suitable option.

A WEEK?!?!
Choosing clothes for a kid's party?
Do they not forget what they're wearing within two minutes of arriving anyway? Does it matter if they're having fun?

A week! Even if I had a girl we would think about it on the day! I would rather a girl was rushing round having fun than worrying about clothes! In fact I would rather they didn't bother about clothes at all until they at least get to teen years.

I guess my daughter is not in the party age yet, but am I really the only one who puts her child into pretty dresses even if there's no occasion, because otherwise she'd never get to wear them?

(I don't mind them getting grubby though, there's nothing which cannot be fixed bya hot wash and drying in the sun#9

I always dress my DDs well for a party.. it shows you make an effort.. just like I would if I was invited to a party..obviously you have to work with the theme ie beautiful Monsoon number not suitable for Farm party ..but I see nothing wrong with with dressing up for a party at all...

it's all part of the fun surely?..and your child can be fashionable and funky whilst making an effort..no excuse to put your children in tat

I dress my boys more smartly for parties definitely.
Doesnt stop them playing at all.
They have best clothes for times like this but I dont force them to sit in the corner to keep the best clothes clean! If they get dirty they get dirty, at least they look lovely AND they are having fun.

Things like a shirt and tank top with jeans instead of a T shirt really.

I really HATED the whole dress / tights / prissy hair combo for parties when I was little (we're talking late sixties, early seventies). When the boys were climbing trees or whatever, we girls were on the sidelines, and expected to be.

And I had three older sisters, so my party frocks were hand-me-down things I'd been bored of looking at for years already, albeit in pristine condition!

I have distinct memories of my mother trying to wrestle me into a skin tight smock dress in about 1974.
She failed. I missed the party.
It kind of sums up my relationship with my mother - she has always loathed my fashion choices and tried to force her own ghastly notions of propriety on to me.
My eldest boy is a cool, long haired scruff. The other is a scrummy little baby.

Where I live (North London)best clothes are for chavs - sparkly headbands round babies' heads, shiny shoes, miniature suits, designer tracksuits etc.

I'm afraid it all boils down to class.

Yanbu - DS has just turned two and it's shorts and t-shirts from Sainsbury's most of the time. But for parties or even a BBQ it's the "smart" shorts and a shirt.

Without going over the top it's important to learn a sense of occasion and show you have made an effort.

We recently went to a wedding. Ds had an outfit from Gap. Blue short sleeved shirt and trousers that could be worn long or tabbed up as "long shorts". I didn't like paying for them but it was for a wedding. I was really surprised at how many kids at the wedding turned up in really imnformal clothes. I am no snob and happily buy all of Dss's clothes in Sainsbury's if I can but for a wedding I would expecxt parents to go for a shirt rather than a t-shirt.

I love the dressing up that goes with special occasions, in fact I dress up even when it's not! DD always wears a pretty dress for parties, I don't care if it gets dirty, hey, when else is she going to wear it?

Why not wear a pretty dress with wellies? In fact I find loose dresses much more comfy than jeans. As someone has already mentioned, in the 70s our maxi dresses didn't stop us from haring around and climbing trees.

"Where I live (North London)best clothes are for chavs - sparkly headbands round babies' heads, shiny shoes, miniature suits, designer tracksuits etc.". Yes here too, but party dresses (usually next / monsoon / boden types) for party occasions is practically de rigueur!

ms lucy your post is very misguided. There is no such thing as a cool long haired scruff. They are a cliche of every other young boy in north london (long unkempt/outgrown hair - yawn!). The joke is on you. It so does boil down to class.