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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

dd starting swimming lessons at school, am s***ing myself.

12 replies

yada · 26/08/2009 15:47

i have always had a really irrational fear of my dd's being near water, does not stem from anything to do with me as i am a strang swimmer.

i often have nightmares about them falling into the sea and me not being able to get to them in time.

dh says he hates going to the beach as a family as i constantly shout at them to not go any further than the waters edge (i promise that i am actually perfectly sane apart from this)

anyway dd1 (7) has come home with a letter for swimming lessons during school time, the whole class will be doing it. she will be gutted if i say she is not going and i dont want to say this but i cant get over my fear of anything happening to her.

we do take her swimming often but she is not the most confident child and even though her little sister is getting quite good she will only do a few strokes before giving up.

i think it would do her good to have someone other than dh and i teaching her but i am still terrified

OP posts:

prettybird · 26/08/2009 15:54

I know that you know that your fears are irrational, but try to remember that your dd learning to swim will reduce the risk of her falling into the sea and you not being able to get to her in time - as she would be capable of getting herself out of trouble.

Part of the role of being a parent is giving our children the skills to cope in the big wide world. As you yourself acknoweldge, it would do her good to have someone else teachinh her rather than her parents. Maybe she is picking up on your fears and that is getting in the way of her building her confidence.

Getting lessons with the school should help her become stronger like her wee sister.

I know you know all of this: just keep on reminding yourslef. True love is feeling the fear and letting her go anyway!

AMumInScotland · 26/08/2009 15:57

Swimming lessons will improve her swimming. Better swimming will make her safer near water.

Swimming pools have lifeguards. Swimming instructors are also good at life-saving when required.

You know it makes sense!

pjmama · 26/08/2009 16:11

She needs to learn to swim and it sounds like you might not be in the best position to teach her. I think you'll just have to bite the bullet. She'll be in probably just about the safest swimming environment possible - it's not good publicity for schools and swimming pools if they let their pupils drown!

Phobias are awful to deal with and you have my sympathy and I know how you feel as I'm one of the worlds worst worriers when it comes to my DCs safety!

Original poster

yada · 27/08/2009 20:03

thanks everyone.

think i might make a recce to the pool and see ifthat makes me feel better (its one we have not used before)

OP posts:

lucykate · 27/08/2009 20:21

i am a bit wary of sending my dc's swimming. but dd does have regular swimming lessons, and is also starting swimming with her school (she's 7 too btw), which is why she started lessons. the thought of her feeling embarrassed in front of her classmates if she was a non swimmer forced my hand. she's not confident in the water, swimming lessons have done her the world of good.

the pool the school is going to is deeper and colder than where she has her lessons, so we've been a few times over the summer to get her used to it. we're in a similar situation too with the younger sibling, ds is a bit of a water baby and has mastered doggie paddle with armbands on with no instruction whatsoever. i'm holding back starting him in lessons until dd is a bit further on in fear if he catches her up, it will knock her confidence.

clam · 27/08/2009 20:35

I'm not a strong swimmer, although I can rustle up a few lengths of breast-stroke.

I hate getting water splashed in my face and get pretty girly about it. I have therefore always made sure that it was DH who took the kids swimming, so they didn't pick up on me being precious. It is probably a good idea that your kids do the same,i.e. learn at school from professionals who will teach them confidence that you might not be able to.

It'll be fine!

FairLadyRantALot · 27/08/2009 20:39

hmmyou are irrational, because the swimming lessons will improve her swimming , hence making your nightmare less likely...

Original poster

yada · 27/08/2009 21:00

my fears are not of her learning to swin. its of her being near water without me.

even if she was a strang swimmer i think i would still feel like this.

OP posts:

vjg13 · 27/08/2009 21:08

I think the visit to the pool is a good idea (for both of you) and may help her confidence as well when she starts there with school.

Would you consider some hypnotherapy to help you with your fears? This can be really helpful when dealing with phobias.

MummyDragon · 27/08/2009 21:20

I promise you that the teachers will not let any harm come to her (am married to a PE teacher who teaches swimming twice a week )

deste · 27/08/2009 21:27

My DD teaches school swimming. Her teacher or classroom assistant will be watching, there will be lifeguards watching. The instructors are not supposed at any time to turn their backs on the children. She will be safe.

lucykate · 27/08/2009 22:46

i manage to keep my fears at bay most of the time, although dd's brownie troupe went swimming and i wasn't too keen on her going. they were after parent helpers, and if i'd been able to go along too, would have been fine about it, but couldn't find anyone to have ds for me when the time came as dh was away with work.

actually, if it does really worry you, are you able to offer to be a parent helper at school? at dd's school, they are always in need of extra pairs of hands to go along with the swimming trips. even just going along with them once might be enough to put your mind at rest that your dd is in safe hands there.

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