Should I have done this?

[steppemum]

I am staying in a friend's house. We normally live overseas and are back for a while. In order to break up the time with my parents we are house sitting for friends, so she is doing us a big favour, and I wanted to do something to say thank you. She left the house clean and tidy, but I realised that it was quite grubby really underneath, things like cupboard doors and tops of pictures, light fittings, and mildew on the pvc window frames. I'm not judging, she is a busy mum, but I thought I could leave it all clean for her, so I have been quietly spring cleaning. Now I am having a crisis of confidence. Will she come back and think how nice the house looks, and be pleased, or will she come back and think that I thought her house was dirty and needed to clean it?
What would you think? (trouble is I am lazy oik and I would eb delioghted if someone cleaned my house!!)
Off to the park now, so will collect your responses later....

I think I would initally be quite pleased and grateful and laugh it off and accept the choccies.

But then later, I would go off somewhere and seethe and sob about it.

I would be very pleased, are you free in 2 weeks time?

If she does notice and get the hump just say it's what you do every week at home so just followed your normal routine round hers. I'd swallow that

I've really put myself in a spot with this. I started it just to be nice (wanted to leave the place clean) and also because my dh left to go back overseas last thursday and we aren't going to see him for 2 months, so i was fed up and started cleaning for something to do.
She's never seen my house because I live overseas.
I really don't mind if she doesn't actually notice, but just thinks Oh she's left it nice and clean, like I left it for her. If she's like me then she notices these things occasionally and thinks I must get round to doing it but there is always something more important interesting at the top of the to do list. If it quietly becomes clean then you no longer notice it.
I guess I am really worried that she might be offended. I don't know her that well, we met at church and really hit it off, and our kids are same age, but I haven't known her long. When she heard we were looking for somewhere to house sit she offered her place.
I think I will leave the choccies and flowers with a thank you note and not say anything. if she comments I'll say it was a good distraction when dh had gone and I was on my own, then it isn't personal.
Thanks for all you comments

My friend sighs deeply every time she sets foot over my threshhold, rolls up and her sleeves and gets stuck in.. in front of me! I've ceased to care.. there is more to life than housework and I do what I can to prevent us all dying of cholera, typhoid and the like. We seem to be quite healthy so it must be working..

I am too darn busy to stress over people with strange urges to do my housework.. let the get on with it as the mood takes them is what I say..

So I'd not worry too much..

And clearly you are not a "lazy oik".. quite the reverse.. you are a (lovely) crean freak and the world is a better, shiner place for people like you and my clean-freak friend!

I think that's the best approach - don't mention it in note/whatever, but when you next speak to her you could mention that you were fed up / bored when DH left and did some cleaning to distract you? That way if she has been harbouring dread that you thought her house was too filthy to live in without cleaning it would put her mind at rest.

She sounds like a reasonably chilled out woman-as she is happy to let people she doesn't know too well stay in her house and doesn't clean under cupboards, so I'd guess she either won't notice or won't mind.

I don't think you need to worry, steppemum. Some people just like cleaning!

One of my friends used to always do more cleaning for me when she was at my house. If I left her while I popped out to pick up children from school, I would come home to the smell of bleach!

Yes, my house was not pristine, and it did need more. She was welcome to it.

I cleaned a friend's house in a similar situation. I was babysitting for her DS1 whilst her DS2 was in hospital. I was worried about her DS2, so rather than sitting watching TV, I deep cleaned her kitchen and bathroom. I like cleaning, but not my own house, which is usually a pigsty (although kitchen and bathroom are fairly clean).

My friend was pleased, I think, I did get a huge bouquet and box of chocs. My mum often does bits of cleaning when she's here, and I love that. She will also apologise and say she was bored, rather than insinuating my house was so dirty she couldn't stop herself! MIL occasionally does something, but will generally do it badly, and I will hear time and time again what she did. This is not the way to do it!

It's difficult since you don't know her so well though. I'd go with saying nothing, and if she does notice just say you did a few bits when you couldn't sleep/were waiting for DH to ring.... [and if you ever want somewhere to stay in Devon....]

Unless you are going to rub the grime back on I'd stop worrying and just leave pressie without mentioning the cleaning

If I noticed, I would be mortified.